How Many Failed Relationships Does One Have To Have Before They Realize "They" Might Be The Issue?
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Me and my ex broke up for obvious reasons. He would tell big lies or he would cheat. But I did discover some things about myself during the healing process. I realized that their were some things I could have done differently, ultimately I could have been a better partner despite the fact that I will still go as far as to say I was good to him/for him because I genuinely cared about his happiness, what it took to make him happy, and I wanted to grow with him. I had good intentions, I was loyal, I didn’t cross any of the lines he had crossed and I didn’t even seek any revenge and yet I still had some regrets about how I might not have treated him as “perfectly” as I thought I did. Because there were times I would be secretive by protecting some of my families reputation at the cost of losing some of his trust. He had no idea why at times I would hide thing about my life-all in the name of keeping up appearances for the sake of not shaming my family or exposing their secrets. I never cheated or did anything disloyal and yet I didn’t ease his fears even though I knew he had trust issues from being cheated on-I didn’t know how. And that’s the thing-sometimes you just don’t know how to speak the other persons love language. My ex was damaged and miserable and I prayed for his healing constantly even as he was tearing me apart. He hurt me because he was selfish, immature, lost... but he wasn’t a bad person. I sincerely believe he just didn’t know how to do things better in accordance with what was best for himself. In part, maybe he just didn’t want to commit which is fine if your honest about what you want in a relationship. But his fears of being alone made him into who he was. I also had a fear of losing the only thing that made me happy. We both were flawed despite the fact that I did do right by him. Everybody can do something a little better. That’s why it’s so important to communicate honestly and openly. That’s how you make a relationship last and it takes both people to maintain this open communication even when your afraid of the consequences of your ignorance/not knowing how to treat them. You have to work together or it will fall apart
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I mean tbh, failed relationships doesn't mean you're the issue as much as you haven't found the right person.
Every relationship fails except for one.
The big thing is using each relationship as a lesson so you don't repeat the same mistakes.
- 400 opinions shared on Relationships topic.
Honestly? I have noticed a difference between culture and how men and women handle breakups.
You see. In our culture if a guy gets dumped he experiences self reflection. Just go on youtube and it is filled with male dating advice on not being needy or being more masculine or the post breakup workout routine. In other words, men after a breakup go through a self reflective phase of depression and self improvement.
Women in breakups are treated differently. They are never considered the problem. Not only that... but women are told that they are beautiful and that guys are assholes. Then women go on Tinder and bounce from guy to guy to guy to guy ever 3 months or so. THey are never held accountable. it is always because guys are assholes and they are beautiful. They were dumped because they are too beautiful and because their weight gain means Thicc Thighs Saves LIves and they are BBW.
In other words, each time a man gets dumped he re evaluates who he is. A woman goes most of her life without being told she is the problem and being held accountable. SHe takes men for granted because she has dozens of thirsty guys who want to have sex with her while she is in a relationship. But she foolishly thinks that the attention means they want to wife her or be in a relationship. NO no no. sex attention does not mean they like you as anything more than a hookup.
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- 1.3K opinions shared on Relationships topic.
It takes two to tango so I would say every relationship that fails has something more or less to do with you somehow someway.
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Good question. It’s hard for most people to own up to their mistakes and even harder to make changes.
I personally got screwed over more then once for being “too nice” in my youth. I was raised to be chivalrous to women and I had a very controlling mother. I still struggle with that but I’ve developed radar to watch for female bullshit when it comes to this.
But there was one failed relationship where the fault was definitely on my end. I owned to that when things didn’t work out. But losing that one hurt. Really hurt. It’s been 7 years now and I still think about her often. But I found myself in a similar situation with a different woman. This time I did things the right way and effectively communicated. This included effectively communicating that I wanted to break up but she did nothing wrong. She went ballistic but at least I walked away knowing I did the right thing.
But nowadays I find myself no longer going out my way to please western women. Truth is I’m jaded from having women exploiting my chivalry and I know longer want to bend over backwards. If that means I’m going to be a long time bachelor than do be it. But I’ve had it. I can care less what family and friends think. I’m no longer ashamed of being the only unmarried sibling in both my immediate and extended families.
Anyway I’m moving to a different country soon and from my experience from previous visits the women their are generally much more respectful to men. There hasn’t been all this radical feminist bullshit that is brainwashing them to be selfish and entitled. -
Most relationships fail, because of a lack of communication. If you have not learned how to communicate after the first failed relationship; it would be a good thing to realize before you enter a second that you have a problem, or you may end up having many failed relationships one after the other, because you do not recognize your communication problem.
When a relationship fails, you need to listen to each other in order to discover where you failed in your communication. A lot of times it falls on both partners; both have failed to communicate their desires in the relationship, and make discussion as to how they are going to satisfy the others expectations.
You should recognize the issues, and who is at fault (most cases both partners), after the first failure, but as society is what it is; we tend to not recognize things till we have failed multiple times, or in some cases, people never recognize the problem of communication, and die never realizing why they could not stay in a good relationship. -
Zero but that's only if you can truly be Honest with yourself,
Zero if you can see both sides of the situation and be honest with yourself
Zero If you understand the first lie you tell is the beginning of the end
Zero If you always treat your partner as the same person you did the day you meant each other
Zero If you can both sit down tell each other you love each other, but it's not going to work , and only talking about yourself because of one of the above reasons has happen ,
Zero If you really understand the word , unconditional love
Zero when you understand in life sometimes it takes 2 people to make 1 thing work , and your willing to do what ever it takes to do your part , because you want to do it not because you have to -
My relationships were mostly positive, I know how to be healthy. I had women want me to marry them. My failure was I wasn't ready for the commitment. I was still traveling the U. S and the world, I couldn't find the partner to do that with. I also was trying to figure myself out, my identity, and to have more experiences in life. I try to identify what I do wrong in the relationship, even if it was positive. I am not perfect, I am always constantly working on myself. I am however confident on who I am and what I can bring into a relationship. To think otherwise is narcissistic.
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In general, most people have about 7 relationships before they find "the one."
Those that have 10 or more do it either by choice or they start down a path of looking for reasons.
The reasons for a break up, on both sides, can usually be traced back to four main categories. In no particular order these are:
1. Anger
2. Contempt
3. Neglect
4. Indifference
No one of these works alone. Where there is one, you will find the seed of another.
The problem is people don't want see themselves as the source of the problem. It's the other person. They are the reason they act or feel the way they do.
It usually takes a major "thing" to happen before someone does an objective look at themselves to see they need to change. - 656 opinions shared on Relationships topic.
One of my sacred rules is to never blame others just to get away from my failure...
I'm a man who says the truth, if i'm wrong, i'll say it loud and clear and if they are wrong, i'll tell them that they are wrong, i was never ashamed of the wrong things that i have done, even though they are just a little but i'm glad that each opsticule thay occured in my way i was able to fix it and move on, if i did something wrong, i'm not affraid to say that i'm sorry and will do my best to never do it again...
No one is perfect which means being wrong pr doing the wrong things might occurs but what's important is that we fix them and try to never do them again... -
The way I was raised, I ALWAYS ASSUME that I fcked up, somehow, in every relationship! Even when they say, "It's not you, it's me!" THEN I KNOW!!
Most don't take the time to really get to know me, to trust, build confidence, with each other.
Today, so many are so quick, and judge, and move on, that I think they miss a lot of really great people, just judging too fast, and not taking enough time!
Three of the ones that I dated, and REALLY liked, I TOTALLY HATED, at first!! LOL!!
They were part of our group of friends (different times, different groups, over 10 years).
We seemed to hate each other, and teased and taunted, and disagreed, but then, it just happened, and for different reasons, we got together, and it was really good, for a while! - 538 opinions shared on Relationships topic.
See, this is one I personally don't like. When I broke up with my ex I thought it was all my fault. Like I didn't do enough. Losing sleep over thinking about what I did wrong because I felt I was the problem when she broke up with me.
It messed me up for a long time and made me afraid to try again for a long time because I felt it would just happen again and it would be ny fault again. I despise the notion that failed relationships regardless of who is in the wrong somehow lead to be the belief you were the problem.
Not all relationships that end means you were the or are the problem. That is some bullshit.
I look at every relationship with women I had and think about my mistakes and what O could have done differently or any red flags I missed in hindsight that led to the falling out. I take responsibility. - 468 opinions shared on Relationships topic.
For eternity, because it's never their fault 🤷♂️. My brother's ex is one of them aaaaaand it has three years since they saparated and so far ahe dated about 5-6 other guys and they are all useless (her words) and every guy had countless flaws and it's all their fault, not hers
- 1.5K opinions shared on Relationships topic.
Not sure. Some people are slow learners and some people never learn.
But a successful relationship also requires a partner who won't just throw in the towel. They are dedicated to the relationship and will help you to see yourself without blaming or creating defensiveness. They are also willing to look at themselves. Nobody is perfect. Both people need to be committed to making the relationship work. And communication is the key. -
Not all failed relationships have a clearly understood reason for the issue. Sometimes people are just not good for each other no matter how much they are attracted to each other. Other times, the timing is wrong or the situation isn’t right. That said if people don’t take the approach that they have some responsibility in the failure or success on a relationship they definitely have it wrong.
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It definitely takes two people to make it work.
It may also depend how long the relationships lasted.
If a person has had many, many relationships that lasted under a year, it may be safe to say that they're not trying hard enough to make it work. - 811 opinions shared on Relationships topic.
Of the relationships that I have had that have ended, I really wouldn't consider any of them to be "failed" relationships. All were learning experiences and oftentimes relationships have a certain "life" to them. And I recall a few that were cause for celebration when they ended... LOL!
- 4.9K opinions shared on Relationships topic.
I believe they don't realize when they are the issue like my sister had a chance with this friend I introduce her to and she ended up breaking off with him over some crazy shit and then one time she lived with this guy and didn't want to get a job, so he had to go out to work but he got pissed off cause of ways, so he broke up and threw her out the place where they were living and where did she moved back but back home, finally when her daughter ( niece) was like age 8, she got a job with the school and got her shit together but her daughter was a one night fling, I feel bad for my niece and I love them both but I don't know
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I guess it would primarily depend on whether they were able to get a clear idea on what happened in the relationship and how honest they are willing to be about their own behavior. Lots of people have too much pride to look at their own behavior honestly.
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If you're in the dating pool and haven't dealt with things like psychological issues, past dating traumas, inability to communicate/be honest, abuse, cultural/religious issues, your sexuality, or are in denial of what you want and is most important to you, then you're going to waste a lot of time with a lot of people. It's on the rarer side that people will admit to themselves that they might be the problem---there is usually a straw that breaks where someone be it friend, family, or ex calls them out on it and they are actually jolted into the reality of what they are doing.
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Well I think of it this wayvtakes two to tango. Insecurities and baggage are combined in the relationship. If one has to much it can definitely ruin a relationship. If one is overly depressed it can also destroy the relationship.
If there is no happiness in the relationship its doomed from the start. Sometimes its just best to clean yourself from the negativety.
The only way to find happiness in a relationship is find the one who can complete you. Understands what you ate going through and knows how to get put of the funks in life. But dont abuse their kindness. The thing is if you can't love yourself then how are you going to love others. -
All failed relationships has on common denominator i. e. "me, myself and I!" Many refuse to accept they are the obstacle to a health and sustainable relationship. They blame, shame and accuse others for thier choices. It should only take 2 failed relationships to question yourself. Did I chose right? Why do I like whores or dawgs?
- 618 opinions shared on Relationships topic.
Every relationship should come with a lesson about yourself. It honestly shouldn't have to take many to realize it. Heck, if you keep having problem with people you come in contact with, there's a big indicator right there.
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