Why are some men opposed to being providers to their wife?

Question

SomeBlondeChick · Accepted Answer

@wowwgirl... An inferiority thing. They don't like the idea of a woman being able to provide for herself and in petty spite they don't provide for her.  Women who have any sense would divorce/dump such men. Why? Because it is not in their makeup to mutually contribute to the household, rather they need that dependence as a sense of control & authority, but with the resultant hard-done-by-poor-me attitude (fostered because they *have* to be the breadwinner, it can't be split) they don't make good husbands or fathers.  One merely has to look back a generation or two when the men were the main breadwinners & there was quite a bit of spite (husband "does everything", wife "doesn't do anything", etc.) in some households. Married with Children as an example, with Al Bundy, is a perfect example of this lifestyle... he comes home from a hard's day work, Peg whines at him to do more, he whines at her why can't she/the kids do anything, etc.  Quite simply the only real reason why divorce wasn't high back 50-80 years ago was because divorce was as taboo as incest. No other reason. If the ideology towards divorce was as open-ended as today... back in the 1950s the number of divorces would probably be greater than today's.  . Personally I've only dated older men - 10 years or so - because being well-traveled, educated & in a professional field I find most men around my age - unless in my profession - are not interesting. Not mature enough. They're boring.  And I've never had an issue with these older gents, even my fiancé, having any issues with the idea of me working. Why? Because actually confident men. Established. They don't see a working woman as a "threat" to their manliness. And they comprehend that such things as maternity leave & part-time/casual work exists.

Alyssa11 · Accepted Answer

If a man loves a woman, he's going to want to provide for her.

MrOracle · Answer

I think it's because most women today don't want to be traditional wives, and men are unwilling to let women have it both ways: all the benefits of a traditional marriage (with none of the responsibility) and all the benefits of a modern marriage (with none of the responsibility). Many women want exactly that: all the benefits and none of the responsibility.

I know from past conversations that you would be happy being a traditional wife with traditional benefits and responsibilities, and traditional men (which is probably most men, though definitely not all) would be fine with that; they'd be happy to be a provider and protector to a wife who kept the home and took care of him when he wasn't working to provide for the family. But I think you know as well as I do that most women today think they deserve more or better than a traditional relationship - they're chasing a fantasy Instagram lifestyle that most will never have, and the rest will never keep, even if they get to live it for a few weeks of their lives.

in my opinion, you have a much better chance of long-term success because you seem to be far more grounded than many women are, and you live, like most men, in the world of reality, rather than one of fantasy.

DeltaCharlieEcho · Answer

We aren’t. You women just fucked up the job market. Not only that, you have no understanding of statistics or objective reality which means that when you take a high paying job, you’re removing one man from the dating pool. When you have mandates in place for higher quotas for diversity that favors women you’re doing this at very high levels which means you’re removing millions of men from those positions and making it impossible for men to make enough to be considered viable. The reality of the situation is that women are finally learning that they can’t have their cake and eat it too. Either you want to pretend that equality means equal outcome or you have to acknowledge that equality is different things to men and women and our opportunities and outcomes are not the same.
Believe me, no man considers a professionally ‘successful’ woman a ‘successful woman’. It’s fun to play pretend but sometime you have to wake up and realize that your actions have consequences and that you’re not going to feel satisfied in a career without a family. Your biology isn’t going to allow it. You also have to realize that men are going to be PISSED at you for as long as you artificially minimize the pool of eligible bachelors.

AshViper · Answer

@wowwgirl - there's a number of reasons. But it all marks men who are not real partners, as a relationship at marriage level should be a partnership, and should really be kicked to the curb before a child arrives.  1) They're not responsible. Until recently they lived at home. Mum slaved away to make sure their needs are met. And, as such, they still act as spoiled children as adults.  . 2) They have a sense of inferiority if their wife works & thus act childishly. I've seen many posts on GAG by guys implying that a woman can only be a wife or an employee but not both. It's really a very insulting & demeaning belief about women. I mean what's she supposed to do when the kids are at school?  . 3) Tying with #2 because they feel childishly about a woman working they are not real partners, they don't willingly contribute to the household and instead pout and deny her support.  .

hellionthesagereborn · Answer

Because women have refused to be women to such a degree that he is expected to effectively be the traditional male while she has no expectations placed on her at all. Personally I have no issue with men being the provider, I think its the ideal situation, but that does mean that she is cooking, cleaning, she is nurturing and she is obeying the husband because he is the one taking the risks, he is the one putting in the money so she loses the right to dictate to him. Thats the problem, women want all the advantages of being a woman with none of the responsibilities, they also want men to have all the responsibilities that come with being a man with none of the advantages.

hi_it_is_me123 · Answer

I am the only who sees being a housewife/provider as a normal job. If you provide a woman, she serves you back. It is not like you provide her for "free". You get your "paycheck" by having cooked food, clean house, get taken care etc.. However, i think housewifes should paid a little and get a rent. There are enough cleaner who even stay at their employer's home and get paid despite staying at the employer's and eating their food. A housewife dont get paid despite being a babysitter, cleaner, and cook for 7/24. she would get more money if she has done this separately not for her husband. So being housewife is to an extent free labour without free time and she also work on holidays too.

Beautyforeverybody · Answer

Because it is not natural?
I don’t know what is up with people denying simple biology.
Men are hunters, leaders and providers. They are naturally much more stronger and mentally decisive.
Women are nurturing and caring. Our brains are much more complex and we are better at diffrent things.

CaptainOverthink · Answer

Not sure what kind of men you are refering to but some mean do want equality and are not up to neing the sole providers.

If you mean coach potatoes then they pribably don't even think about it. They just feel entitled to keep thier single-lifestyle.

MasseurDeMojo · Answer

Because men's masculinity has been destroyed; many men no longer see themselves as the head of the house, so they do not need to provide anything. When women back in the 70's started attacking men, and them being the head; they slowly started chipping away at how men would view themselves. Today, we are reaping what was sown. Men no longer feel they need to support a woman who has her own job, and also runs the house. They have no purpose anymore.

When men are allowed to be men again; they will get that job, and start supporting their families again. Right now, they are being further destroyed by Hollywood, and the non-binary movement. It has gotten now to the point where they have started designing dresses for men to wear. they do not want men to be men; they call masculinity toxic, and this is what you get; men who no longer want to support the women in their lives, by getting a good job.

ZackBan · Answer

Because it's a myth.
Classically men were only financial providers but women kept the household in shape. What they didn't provide in hard earned money they provided with work at home.

Today women can't be bothered and so neither do men.

Why would a man agree to be the sole provider in a relationship if at the end of the day his woman finds it beneath her to do the dishes? It's society that created this thing where it's now sexist to have your wife (or the equivalent in any form or relationship ) actually do house work or raise her own kids.

So it's not an opposition but no one wants to be robbed either, at least before a man could get his money's worth coming home to a clean environment well maintained with kids that excell in school. He can be the sole provider Because he can rest easy knowing the family is taken care of.
Now men have to work AND do these things so naturally women also need go be providers to balance it out.

Dragonpurple · Answer

Why do some women oppose being a provider to their husband? Really its because we try to be equal and fair.

I'd just as well be a stay at home dad, keep the house clean, raise the kids while she goes off to work and provides for us.

Marriage should be a partnership, but IF she wants to stay home and have him take care of her and all she wants to do is play online games or GAG all day... and won't even keep the house clean, is that really fair? I have a relative just like that, won't work... just plays on social media and online games so her husband has to come home from work and then clean the house and do everything else.

humanearth · Answer

Because they are low lifes pieces of shit. A man takes care of family. No matter what.

I seen men that are blind, hard of hearing, missing limbs and in wheelchair bust their ass to provide for their family.

They dont sit on their ass and collect disablty payments.

They earn their keep and dont take handouts from the goverment.

TomGarand · Answer

Either because they are lazy, or because they'd rather not have a traditional relationship dynamic.

Personally, I think that if the guy is not being the provider, or even going as far as being the homemaker, he should still give it his all. If he's working a job where he doesn't earn as much, or if he's taking care of the house while his wife is away, he should give his (Read in Hank Hill's voice) 110%.

If the man isn't working, he shouldn't be playing video games all day. He still has to make a clean home and emotionally nurture and support his wife. I mean, think about it for a minute.

If a man WAS the provider and his wife was the homemaker, he wouldn't appreciate coming to a still-dirty home because his wife was on Instagram all day. He'd want her to make a clean home and emotionally nurture and support HIM.

@WowwGirl Am I right?

worldscolide · Answer

Because with the job situation in this country, its INCREDIBLY hard to provide for more than one person on a single persons income. I got lucky, i have been in IT since 2000 so im financially good. But say a person makes 30 to 40k. With inflation the way it is, at least in non midwestern states (like my own kansas), thats very little for even a single person to live on.

Let me give you an example. in say Dallas Texas. what i pay for my mortgage, which grants me a 4 bedroom home, with a basement, back yard, pool, and a 3 car garage, and a nice neighborhood, Would get you, if you're lucky, a studio appartment.

Its worse in new york, where a studio apartment costs 1200 to 1500 per month. A one bedroom can run upwards of 2500 a month. That would make having a housewife with no job, impossible.

I personally dont mind providing, but if i lived in those high cost of living places, i would insist my wife work to share the load.

TheSpaceGnome · Answer

what people think it's like:  what it's usually like:

JackSmy · Answer

I thought that women wanted EQUALITY!! That means, they work, they earn money, and contribute to the family, and don't just rely on the MAN to PROVIDE!!
DID I get it wrong, or are some just pissed off, with the idea of "equality" and that they are expected to contribute, and not just be a trophy wife, with no kids, and nothing to do but cheat, and fck the Pool boy?

Nobodyherebutme · Answer

I believe men should act as providers. I'm with you 100%. The problem is that feminists have been telling everyone for 40 years that this is patriarchal and oppressive. I hear women saying all the time how they don't need men or want men to help them anymore. These airhead feminists have women believing they can do it all on their own, and they can't. Neither can men. The genders really do need other more than we think.
Now a lot of men are just as useless as a ship without a rudder. Human wreckage. Lazy, unambitious, and stupid. But a lot of men have heard for quite a while how they're not wanted or needed, so they have opted out.

Kaneki05 · Answer

There is a documentary on Netflix about how men actually can't be due to how women are been paid more now in the states. The pay gap flipped therefore women are having to marry men who are below them in wage wise.
So that could be reason, plus women work more now. less women are stay at homes. And things keep progressing so the old way of doing things dies off.

ariadneR · Answer

Some women are entitled and they expect it. Which ruins it for everyone

Joey_007 · Answer

I want her to be fully capable of taking care of herself not some insufferable leach I want to be capable of providing but I don't want to need to have to do it and I don't want someone who if I died wouldn't be able to take care of herself or our children if I'm going to spend the rest of my life with someone they have to at the very least be capable of taking care of them self and handling the consequences of their decisions but ideally as or more capable as/than I am.

yofuknutz · Answer

Well getting a good job IS OUT of reach for most men, so after a while they throw in the towel but they WIIL not tell U this. Since 1990 its been like this. This stuff tastes GOOD!

Avicenna · Answer

Well, it's a big enough group that the motivation varies:

-Not wanting to be taken advantage of my their wife like they have seen other men taken advantage of

-Immaturity or laziness

-The belief she can earn as much money as him (true in many cases)

-His own lack of job stability

- High cost of living

jaybee281 · Answer

Depends on who she is - If she's all feminism and women MUST also work and she's making her own money - then I don't have a role in providing - even the first date when I realize she's a feminist I'll tell her we'll split 50/50 - if she's a traditional woman that wants to be a housewive then I'd be glad to pay for everything..

Bright_blue_eyes · Answer

She has equal rights. She needs to get a job too. I'll contribute my fair share of the expenses, and I'll always give good/expensive gifts. I remember birthdays, and save her from the big bad spiders or scary men at the bars, I'll open the door for her, and I'll send thoughtful notes, I'll do the dishes and my own laundry, but... the woman needs to work. Living in the U. S. is expensive and I'm not letting some lazy B* sponge off me.

karaspara · Answer

Because it's normal now for both husband and wife to contribute

FilmGuy93 · Answer

Immaturity and a deep fear of responsibility. A lot of guys just never grow up. It's a shame!

Juxtapose · Answer

Because women are adults who can get a job & I don't make enough to provide for two people lol. Even if I *did*, it's *MY* fuckin' money.

Me having a dick doesn't make me an ATM & women having vaginas doesn't make them helpless.

And yes, I do my half of the chores just fine. I can cook, clean, etc without paying a woman lol.

aliali8 · Answer

Unless you are able to score a rich man, you will realize no man is entirely able to sufficiently provide for his wife nowadays. Most families can’t survive well on only one income.

If you want to be a housewife , don’t marry a poor man or the average joe. They are not good providers

Anpu23 · Answer

One of the problems is that in most places you need two incomes to make it. In my city average rent in Salt lake city is $1278.00 a month
Average income is $2,250 after taxes. If you throw in insurance of about $740.00 that leaves you $232.55 for food transportation and utilities... Two people can eat $250 of food in a month. So yeah it's difficult. I make enough that my wife doesn't have to work, but she still does for a little money of her own.

msc545 · Answer

I think a lot of men feel that women don't reciprocate adequately and take advantage of the situation.

anon_teen · Answer

I don't know... personally I'd love a house husband or wife (im pan). I'd love to be out and make the money and come home to my husband or wife... its actually kind of arousing for some reason.

TheUniqueOne96 · Answer

Because some view them as outdated. Nothing wrong with being traditional, but it's simply not what everyone wants. Some women can't even live up to their own values either and don't want kids.

AndrewMG · Answer

In any relationship, whether that be partners, friends, relatives, neighbours... it's about being friends and ignoring finance. So being a provider is almost irrelevant... when I first went to Uni I had no money but friends looked after me, by the time I left I looked after them... the key was we had a good time, money played no part in it.

AdithyaR · Answer

I'm not against me being the provider but I wouldn't want my partner to be completely dependent on me, especially financially cause you never know. If I were to be in the hospital or worst case, die, I wouldn't want her to be suddenly stuck in financial struggle.
I believe both partners should share the load of both income and house chores and support each other.

madgoat · Answer

Given the social backdrop of the last 20 years, I'm not sure this question has any relevance anymore.
Other than perhaps to say such wives should look to their own decision tree first, then look how the household can together move forward. Assuming they are serious about their own happiness and the prosperity of both their marriage and their lives.

cjmtherfcker · Answer

Only for women who have taken their virtue seriously. And understand im trading my provison and protection for loyalty

grega239 · Answer

Why would they? I acted as provider for my ex when she was unemployed. She could've cooked lunch but that didn't happen. And I never asked because God forbid you ask a woman to cook.

Also. That's an aspect of patriarchy and a gender role.

Wanting your cake and eating it too applies here.

Equality is an absolute. Such questions would imply entitlement on the part of women

Still-alive · Answer

Ill be the provider no problem, i just dont want to be the sole provider. She has to help out too

stormiigrl · Answer

I think it should be 50/50 honestly i am all for equality. Men shouldn't be the only providers. Women can be too pre-pregnancy and post pregnancy :)

AllThatSweetJazz · Answer

Its their women having a superiority thing. Men prefer women not be leeches. I ain’t giving them handout just for being female. And it’s exaggerated ego that makes her feel entitled to being provided for.

And that’s even more reason for guys to not pay out. Let her learn a lesson or bail for the next guy in hopes he’ll cave easier.

Redstang88 · Answer

Well I don’t want kids, so while I don’t mind treating a girl I expect her to at least pull her own weight

And as much as I hate to be that guy, an ever growing number of girls are completely useless in the domestic skills that used to be done for the providing husband

Kas19 · Answer

Ask them. Some people don't like having only one income and taking care of someone as if they're a child. Just from what I've heard. Women are capable of supporting themselves with a job.

OddBeMe · Answer

Uhg! Why do we want our wives to get off their asses? I don’t know, just to fuck with them.

bamesjond0069 · Answer

Because they have a shitty wife or assume they will have a shitty wife. Most women are totally unfit for marriage these days so its not unreasonable for men to assume they are going to get a completely deficient wife.

sixtyeightplusone · Answer

if a woman is willing to play the traditional wife role including being sexually available at a reasonable level, then she can find a man willing to provide, however feminism has disrupted the expectation so many men are no longer of this mindset. Are you doing your part?

yourbabygirl921 · Answer

A woman should be Independent to themselves in as to know basic skills in life, likewise in men should know how to cook, clean, and basic skillss thay everyone should know becuz it's a sign of being independent and maturity

Crazybeeguy · Answer

I would be a provider for a wife. This would have to be discussed beforehand. e. g expectations on income or responsibilities. I am also not opposed to a self sufficient lady either.

chapawapa · Answer

Some of them want to be providers and are delusional to the fact that they cannot. Its a cultural/societal and family norms/upbringing that men are taught this... By providers I assume you mean paying home bills and taking care of the finances.

Mofunfour20 · Answer

Because they are overgrown children claiming to be men. If a person is not mature enough then the woman expected too much from the man

_piotr · Answer

Why they should agree to be exploited for money by women? I believe in equality. A human should not be treated as a slave just because he was born as a male.

RealMarek · Answer

Maybe because of getting ordered to pay huge alimony because of being the sole income provider in a previous relationship.

Nazgol · Answer

Because they see us as equal and not needing to be provided for

jerdanro · Answer

I'm not. I prefer some traditional gender roles. I feel better about myself (more manly) when I am the provider and protector. I acknowledge that other people feel differently, but that is my preference.

kkirk4442 · Answer

I've seen this with some men, with their wives and their family, and as best I can tell, most of the time, it's laziness and/or selfishness.

IraqLobster · Answer

I'm not if i ever had a women, looking at her eating food from my own money is just a blessing. God made it like that, it's a kind of love but it's in no way materialistic.

jasco · Answer

I mean for some cases why would you wanna provide for someone who has nothing to offer but sex. For other reasons being were just lazy, unable to work due to health problems, have a bad history with police. Mostly tho were just lazy.

johnsmithjs · Answer

Because of Modern day feminists. There are still guys out there that are willing to provide for a GOOD women, just not the modern day feminists.

Gabboo · Answer

what about women who oppose providing for their husbands? Goes two ways you know

LogicBomber · Answer

because in the last 10-20 years women have become entitled narcissistic children who believe that they should have special privileges yet equality all in the same breath

Leavesbound · Answer

I'm inclined towards an equal partnership unless I was already wealthy which I'm not.

es20490446e · Answer

These days everything that involves taking care of a house is instantaneous. We don't need a dedicated person to do that.

Why are some men opposed to being providers to their wife?

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Why do men feel to entitled to help their wife?

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