Was I in the wrong?

[pink_and_inlove]

My boyfriend takes me everyday to work Monday-Friday and we get to be with each other for about 20 minutes or so before I have to go. Our only days though that we actually hang out together and get to cuddle and stuff though are Wednesdays, Friday’s, and Sundays. All of a sudden my boyfriend tells me that he won’t be able to hang out with me on Friday the only day that we have privacy and that he’ll also be spending the weekend including Friday with his cousin and that he really wanted to see his cousin that he didn’t get to see very often due to his cousin being busy and I told him “but Friday is the only day that I get out early for work Fridays are our day” he just told me that he really wanted to see his cousin I just stayed quiet after that and I went to the bathroom to cry for a while because I felt bad I felt like he didn’t love me as much as I loved him and like I wasn’t his first priority like he is mine. I was okay with him seeing him on Sunday even though that’s our day but Fridays are always special and I got out early that day. The morning after was when I gathered up the courage to tell him why I felt bad and that I felt like I wasn’t his first priority he was able to talk to his cousin about it and we spent Friday together but he told me that he doesn’t know what to do anymore to prove to me that I am his first priority he takes me to work everyday etc. and he feels like he’s doing all this for nothing because I still say that I’m not his first priority and that he doesn’t love me the way that I do. We didn’t argue or anything he just said that and I ended up apologizing I still do feel this way though that im not his first priority. Tomorrow my dad’s going to have to take me to work because he’s still going to be at his cousin’s until morning and I find it weird that he’s not making an attempt to take me tomorrow to work because he told me yesterday that he missed me a lot.

Updates

+1 y

I was wrong thank you guys for helping me to understand that

[TallAnon]

Let me state this is a crude way on purpose so I can talk without filter. Then lower everything by one notch to get to realism. Sorry if I sound rude and remember, I only know what you talk about here.

I wouldn't want you as my girlfriend from what I've seen. Every small things needs an explaination. You can never just say "Ok, no worries!", you lean on just him for emotional support, you don't seem to have friends that you share anything with, you take a lot for granted.
If he says "I'll be away for the weekend, but see you on Monday", your reply should be along the lines of "Oh cool, anything exciting? Have fun!" Not "What about me"
Now if he does that all the fucking time, or he said it the day before a special date, sure, ask him if you want to do something together more often.
I've had a clingy girl before and I absolutely hated every minute of it. Give him some breathing room.

He ain't in a safe spot either, he should be doing more to put realistic expectations down, he has too many kind words and there's no way he can deliver on all that.

[TallAnon]

Again, sorry if I sound rude, I wanted to get a point across, but I don't know how to do it kindly.

[pink_and_inlove]

That’s weird because last time you were saying that he was taking me for granted

[pink_and_inlove]

It was just that day that bothered me since it was the only day I got out early but he’s been on vacation and stuff with his family and I never minded that like I said Friday is our only day of actual privacy so it’s is important to me

[TallAnon]

He does, he's not safe either. Last part.

[pink_and_inlove]

Me and him still have never argued or anything

[TallAnon]

It's one day, let him do what he wants. He should ask to do something another day, that would make him considerate. But there's things for you to think about too.

[pink_and_inlove]

We’ve never had conflict I just worry a lot

[TallAnon]

Arguments aren't bad, that's how you know what the other thinks.

[TallAnon]

You wouldn't had to worry if you two were genuine, you'd know.

[pink_and_inlove]

Well it wasn’t just one day it was for the weekend too he gets to sleep over there and stuff. I didn’t mind any other days just that certain day privacy is very important to me and it’s the only day where we could get it since it’s the only day that I get to go to his house

[TallAnon]

Worry is the fear of the future because you don't know what's to come or what to expect, how could you know if you don't argue?

[pink_and_inlove]

I communicate with him but just it never turns into an argument ever he’s an understanding person and I am too for the most part

[TallAnon]

Oh right, he only loses every morning and 1/7th of his social life by default, that's barely anything? Don't claim that as your own. If he wants to go on holiday out of town for a month, that's his choice.

[pink_and_inlove]

Yeah I don’t mind that. Like I said if he goes on vacation I’ll miss him but it’s okay

[pink_and_inlove]

That day I don’t know I just felt very hurt by that but that was that day.

[TallAnon]

If I was him, I would've told you: Not this Friday, I'm taking this for myself, I really want to do this, but we can do something another day, perhaps next week we can travel out of town to a nearby lake for a picnic?
And if you said no, not no how about another day, but just "no, I don't want you to this Friday", I would've gone.. "Live with it".

[pink_and_inlove]

It’s important though to be understanding with each other though so saying that would’ve led to an argument in many relationships.

[pink_and_inlove]

Just saying live with it I could imagine that pissing other women off lol me I would just feel sad though and not talk after that

[TallAnon]

That's the idea, I wouldn't take a no for an answer.

[pink_and_inlove]

I’m confused if maybe the birth control pills are affecting me I’ve been sad a lot

[pink_and_inlove]

I’m even sad right now I don’t know why ughhh I think it’s because I miss him I’m a bit annoyed at myself

[TallAnon]

Birth control can affect you, but don't you think it's because you haven't been intreracting with other people?

[Ninjazzed]

Then you have no business having a girlfriend if you call them “clingy” because of course they’re going to be fucking clingy. You live with them and supposedly share every aspect of your life with them.. or at least you’re supposed to.

[TallAnon]

Everyone's relationship is different, I'm not going into a relationship with a girl that wants me to have a strict schedule and wants me to explain each time I want to do anything. You do you, but fuck all of that.

[ZackBan]

Don't get mad at me but yes you are in the wrong.
You got good intentions but you need to know that life can be unpredictable sometimes, so he wants to miss one weekend it's not like said let's only meet Wednesdays from now on, it's ok to always be interested but it's not ok to be needy because trust me if you keep insisting he cancels everything to be with you all the time eventually he'll get to a point where he "needs space" and that will be fatal to the relationship

[pink_and_inlove]

Yeah now looking back at it I realized that I was wrong I also apologized to him the other day. I don’t know why I felt so bad because he has been with his family on vacation and stuff and I didn’t care. Now I just wish I had someone else to hang out with too at least a cousin or something but my family has issues and none of my cousins actually care for me

[MindYourEyes]

Hey pink I’m gonna be real honest but you gotta let him breathe a bit. He loves you. He just wants to spend time with his cousin. You guys have plenty of other fridays to do that. But hey sometimes other things come around too and I mean if he was bailing allll the time even with special occasions then I’d be concerned. But if he decides to just wanna hang with his cousin don’t just shut down and thinks he hates you. He has other priorities in his life too and his cousin is one of them. Doesn’t mean you aren’t. I’m sure your his #1 but family also counts too. At least it’s a cousin he's close to and not some bimbo xD

[Ninjazzed]

Well, if this is the only exception in this instance that he is using to see his cousin, and isn’t constantly putting you on the backburner to visit them, then he probably still has you as his main priority but just wants to see his cousin because he doesn’t get to see them very often.

[FlySwimmer]

It seems to me like you are trying to be his only priority, not his first, I think that he should be able to live his life without having to do EVERYTHING for you, it seems like he is trying his best to make you his first priority, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t have to live his life outside of you..

[pink_and_inlove]

Maybe it’s just harder for me to understand because I have such a lonely life I don’t even have a cousin that I could hang out with I had one but everything changed and now their are family problems and all my friendships faded away so besides him I don’t have anyone.

[pink_and_inlove]

I live a very lonesome life

[FlySwimmer]

Think of it like this, are you not going to let him hang out with his friends every once in a while instead of you? If not, then I think you are definitely being to controlling and need to change for him..

[pink_and_inlove]

And I do not want to be his only priority that assumption is wrong I’m okay with him being with cousins and friends but Fridays are always special to me out time matters to me a lot and if he goes to vacation I’ll understand that too I just felt like he was choosing his cousin over our time together and that made me feel bad

[pink_and_inlove]

There have been days that he went with his family for vacation and that never made me feel bad what made me feel really bad was that I told him that that was the only day that I got out of work early

[pink_and_inlove]

I still don’t know if he loves me the way that I love him?

[buddysboy16]

You're not in the wrong because there's nothing wrong about feeling a certain way. That said, you do need to understand he has other people in his life and not spending ever possible moment with you doesn't mean you aren't number 1 in his life

[pink_and_inlove]

But that was the only day that I got out of work early

[buddysboy16]

It sucks but you'll have a lot more chances to be with him. Sounds like the cousin won't be as fortunate

[Gwenhwyfar]

This bothers me. I thought he was the perfect boyfriend for you but this combined with a few of the other questions you asked make me not 100% sure.

[pink_and_inlove]

I was in the wrong

[pink_and_inlove]

Yeah he asked his cousin if he could stay on Friday so we spent Friday together

[pink_and_inlove]

But yeah I shouldn’t have said that I didn’t feel like I was his priority and I shouldn’t have been that sad about it

[pink_and_inlove]

Why do you feel that way?

[Gwenhwyfar]

Because you should be his priority. Not his cousin. He can see his cousin Sat and Sun. With one or two exceptions I barely even know my cousins’ names. But if you guys are good rn ignore all this.

Imma go bed now honey. You should get some sleep too.

[Gwenhwyfar]

Nvm lol. You posted this 16 hrs ago.

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

Yeah, you wasn't in the wrong but you need to stress what days you want him to keep open just for you two

[pink_and_inlove]

I already did

[Iron_Man]

Do you want to be the priority over his mother and father and brother and sister?

[pink_and_inlove]

I don’t expect that I guess I just expected our time together to matter more to him. And it’s about his cousin not about them

[pink_and_inlove]

I didn’t mind him spending time with him on weekends but Friday is our day our only day that we get privacy and stuff. It was also the only day that I got out of work early for this month

[Iron_Man]

That’s fine well you have to see your boyfriend next Friday

[pink_and_inlove]

Maybe men just don’t think the same way as women? Do you think that I love him more than he loves me? I’ve always felt like that and my zodiac sign is known for that lol

[pink_and_inlove]

Also he told me yesterday that he missed me a lot but tomorrow he’s not even taking me to work because he’s going to be with his cousin that morning so that makes me feel like him saying that he misses me is just bull.

[Iron_Man]

I don’t live my life through zodiacs that’s more entertainment in the newspaper not to be taken seriously. I am Christian as I told you before. You have a strong passion for your boyfriend Big time. As for who likes who better I don’t know your boyfriend in person I can’t tell you that

[Iron_Man]

How long have you been together?

[Iron_Man]

Maybe he hasn’t seen his cousin in a long time

[pink_and_inlove]

Yes that is true he sleeps over there like twice a year or so. For me though I don’t even have a cousin that I could do that with I’m really alone

[Iron_Man]

Is she female?

[pink_and_inlove]

No it’s a guy

[Iron_Man]

Oh ok

[pink_and_inlove]

I don’t know if he loves me the way that I do and if he misses me like he said because he’s choosing to be there tomorrow again

[Iron_Man]

How long have you been dating him?

[pink_and_inlove]

Over a year

[pink_and_inlove]

He says he loves me everyday

[Iron_Man]

I don’t think you have anything to worry about

[Iron_Man]

If I had a girlfriend like you I would wanna know about your insecurities and your feelings and what’s bothering you and what makes you happy

[pink_and_inlove]

Being with him makes me happy I just don’t want to frustrate him more I already spoke to him about my feelings that day I don’t think I should anymore I think it would really mess things up

[Iron_Man]

Well that’s good you didn’t tell me that. Communication is the key to a good relationship

[Iron_Man]

On a side note save up money to get yourself a car and have your boyfriend teach you how to drive

[pink_and_inlove]

I’m trying to get my sad I feel more comfortable with him and I understand more with him

[Iron_Man]

That’s good

[Deku2009]

Just a moment of understanding for him someone he rearly here to see

[Deku2009]

Gets to see not here to see

[pink_and_inlove]

Okay

[loves2learn]

He’s trying to balance a lot of things. It’s not that he isn’t making you a priority.

[Anonymous]

Wow, talk about someone who is totally smothering her boyfriend. If I was in your boyfriend's shoes I would have already dropped you like a bad habit.

[pink_and_inlove]

You don’t know our history together with each other we’ve never argued and we’re like each other’s best friends. I later apologized for making him feel bad and I haven’t brought it up again next time. No one is perfect next time that something like this happens I won’t feel bad because now I understand. I also take birth control so that could be affecting my hormones and stuff

[pink_and_inlove]

He has had vacation with his family before and missed days but I didn’t care I don’t know why I felt so sad at that moment