My boyfriend is a great guy and we have a wonderful relationship. The only thing is, I started losing respect for him over time. He doesn't know how to deal with his coworkers and every day he sends screenshots of conversations asking what they mean and how to respond. I advise him, not wanting him to get in trouble. He also asks when he doesn't know how to talk to others like customer service, his bank or landlord. He asks about simple things when I can see the solutions immediately.
Every week or 2, he loses his wallet only to find it hours or days later. He loses it for good every few months. Last 2 months, he lost and replaced his keys 3 times. He loses items of lesser importance every few days. He lost money because of carelessness like not giving a 30 day notice to cancel wifi because he didn't know. He did this with his lease agreement too and lost the deposit. If something's not working (like a website or machine), he doesn't troubleshoot, he tries the same thing until I notice and help. He breaks things because of misuse.
He does something that I feel is foolish almost daily. I advise him with solutions but he hasn't learned to use the same methods on his own. I can't understand why he doesn't see even the simplest 1-second solutions.
My close friend said I'm exceptionally self-sufficient and good at problem solving, so I might have high expectations. I tried to lower my expectations but his level of problem solving is to the point where I feel he lacks common sense. I tell myself everyone's good at different things and his behavior doesn't mean he's lacking in intelligence. He is a great athlete and knowledgeable in his field, plays many musical instruments, so I know he isn't dumb. But I dont know how to stop feeling this way whenever I see his behavior. I dont know how to adjust or talk to him about this issue w/o hurting his feelings.
Every week or 2, he loses his wallet only to find it hours or days later. He loses it for good every few months. Last 2 months, he lost and replaced his keys 3 times. He loses items of lesser importance every few days. He lost money because of carelessness like not giving a 30 day notice to cancel wifi because he didn't know. He did this with his lease agreement too and lost the deposit. If something's not working (like a website or machine), he doesn't troubleshoot, he tries the same thing until I notice and help. He breaks things because of misuse.
He does something that I feel is foolish almost daily. I advise him with solutions but he hasn't learned to use the same methods on his own. I can't understand why he doesn't see even the simplest 1-second solutions.
My close friend said I'm exceptionally self-sufficient and good at problem solving, so I might have high expectations. I tried to lower my expectations but his level of problem solving is to the point where I feel he lacks common sense. I tell myself everyone's good at different things and his behavior doesn't mean he's lacking in intelligence. He is a great athlete and knowledgeable in his field, plays many musical instruments, so I know he isn't dumb. But I dont know how to stop feeling this way whenever I see his behavior. I dont know how to adjust or talk to him about this issue w/o hurting his feelings.
Updates
+1 y
And it's not that he doesn't care about things, he's always very upset, stressed or sad whenever he can't get something to work or he loses an item or money. Seeing how upset he is not only brings my mood down but makes me lose respect for him because I can't understand why he won't learn if these problems cause him so much distress.
