Do you think it's pathetic to wait for someone?

Question

say the person you love already is in a relationship. when you were falling in love, you didn't know that. would you tell them that if it doesn't work out with the other person, they should consider you worthy of their time? That is, in future if they break up with their partners they should get it started with you.

I personally think it's pathetic.

VIVANT · Accepted Answer

I don’t think it’s pathetic and I’m not sure what place moral judgement has in simply being in love. If you are not interested in anyone rise it’s not hurting you I’d anyone to simply leave things open. If you meet someone then you have no reason to “ wait”. I think goibg out of your way to date people you don’t like just to prove you are iver someone has it’s own share of problems and in this case can actually harm others. No I don’t think leaving possibility open when you are not interested in anyone wise, is pathetic. I do think you should exercise reasonable judgement. If they are in love freaking move on lol if it’s “ complicated” well meh 🤷‍♀️

Dazed0N0Confused · Accepted Answer

Yes, it's pathetic. What if they don't split? What if you miss the chance at a better person because your hung up on this TAKEN person? Count your losses & move on.

eminde · Accepted Answer

I don’t know
I mean if I’m waiting for their relationship to fall apart then it’s a little desperate but again I didn’t do anything to break them, I’m just rooting for that
But it’s my fault that I started to think about a person who’s already in a relationship and allowed those thoughts to overpower me
But still I’ll just confess my feelings so I’m not carrying it around like a burden and if that person finds me more compatible or not it’s up to them
Love overall is a indescribable emotion
Every action seems to be fair when you love someone and it’s kind of fkd up

zeitgeist057 · Accepted Answer

I think it's generally pathetic to pursue anyone who isn't interested in you, whether they are involved with someone else or not. Either they want you / find you interesting or they don't. If they don't and you're hanging around like a puppy basically begging them and trying to convince them to like you, then you are pathetic. If you have any self esteem then you should recognize that you deserve someone who is attracted to you for who you are and if someone doesn't value you then it's not a good match.

OlderAndWiser · Answer

I agree that it is pathetic. Potentially, it makes your love interest feel pressured into breaking up with their current partner. It also seems to be based on the idea that this person is The One for me and I couldn't possibly meet anyone else who could make me happy, and. . . how did I "fall in love" with someone without ever having the first date? I don't know them at all, not really, and falling in love with someone you don't know sounds way too desperate!

coachTanthony · Answer

------------Waiting for someone you love is never easy. Especially when the one you are waiting for isn't aware you are waiting. If they are with someone else they are not your person. The longer you wait for them the longer it will take to find the right person for you.

"Anyone can catch your eye but it takes someone special to catch your heart."
~Coach T Anthony @thedatecoach IG

AmandaYVR · Answer

It's none of your business what other people do with their time or heart. That's judgmental calling people pathetic.

Sonorous · Answer

Oh yeah, but my level of cringe would definitely depend on the circumstance. Each one has its differen't flavor 🤌

Mollynotgemma · Answer

I don’t think it’s pathetic, I think it’s wrong to say to someone to give them a chance if the relationship ends. If it’s love nothing can get in the way. My current partner and I met and never cheated on our partners but within a few months of speaking he left his partner not for me… but because he realised he didn’t want the relationship anymore. I stayed with my partner but my feelings were too strong that I left him a couple of months later and now I’m with him and the happiest I’ve ever been. Don’t wait for anything in life… because it will always be too late

TurboKid · Answer

Bluntly speaking, yes. Also, cringe. I also think it's disrespectful to the relationship. Imagine if one of your SO's friends (or even one of your own) was just waiting for you two to break up. That's stalker behavior as I see it.

grega239 · Answer

My crush is currently in a relationship. I told her i like her and she did say that shed give me a chance but she for some reason wants to keep trying with her boyfriend that refuses to get a job... oh he also got drunk, trashed the house and beat his father. How is this guy a better choice is beyond me,
but I have my own plans for my future and dont intend to change them unless she calls me. I probably wouldn't change my plans even if she did.

I dont think its pathetic, just not worth putting your own life on hold

ChrisMaster69 · Answer

Yes it’s wrong at a number of levels.

a person can spend years waiting, then when they have the relationship they have always wanted, find out it actually sucks and the real person is nothing like their dream.

It also means the person while waiting may miss someone that is even more compatible and would be even better for them.

it’s a waste of a life personally.

candycandy02 · Answer

I am in a realationship, but a guy i used to love before, came back and found out i already have a boyfriend, but he stayed a bit and tried to wait for me and conving me that he is much better.
I told him that he shouldn't waist his time on me, a girl that dosnt put him first. He shouldn't wait for a girl that don't choose him before another guy. He should find a much better girl that will make him happy and priorite him and love him more that i love him. But he didn't want to listen. So be kept trying this best, until he gave up. So not he is gone. But i am happy for him that he can move on now and live better, find someone else and stop waiting. I am sad that i lost a good man. But its for the best for both. I was kind of bit toxic toward him.

flowersintokyo · Answer

I will wait for the person I love! I don't really consider it "waiting for him" because if you wait for something you know it's coming. I don't know if him and I will be together, but I won't marry someone else just for the sake of getting married. I would rather dream of being married to the one I love and try to find joy in a life without him, rather than being married to someone who I like and not being completely happy in that marriage, hence still trying to find joy in life without him, WHILE having this marriage on my shoulders and a responsibility to not hurt an innocent person who didn't happen to be loved by me but instead, just liked... I don't know if it makes sense.

Inexpensivefurniture · Answer

I think it's sad if the person you are waiting for doesn't know you are waiting/has no returned interest in you. Like, waiting for someone you met online, or waiting for someone who has to be away for their job is one thing because it's established you are both waiting for each other. But one person waiting for someone who isn't interestes/is already with someone else? That's very sad and kinda pathetic

Screenwriter · Answer

This isn't pathetic, but it certainly seems to mean you're waiting around for that person and cutting yourself off from opportunities to meet other people.

But there are some who carry torches and do this. It's not pathetic, but it's very sad that someone can't move on and do well for themselves.

candleteabrunch · Answer

I'd move on. I should know. I speak from experience of having a restraining order for a whole year from a court. I learnt ever since. And i never want to be in that silly immature infaturated mindset ever again. No woman is worth that. I wish i was smarter back then. Sigh. But i've learnt.

Mia-Wallace · Answer

It could be, I guess.

But I'd say it depends on what stage of breakup they are in and if the person you're "waiting for" is upfront about seeking new partners with his/her wife or husband. Otherwise he/she would be cheating and you're not exactly smart if you chase a cheater, let alone wait for him.

ohshee · Answer

Pathetic is a very strong word Love Is Love I think it's a waste of time I think that the person should look a little bit deeper within themselves and be a little bit more confident and go out and find somebody there are so many different types of love are you sure it's the right love you have to experience all of them to understand them

Kaneki05 · Answer

Been there done that. Would have to be super lucky for it to work. Alas my luck is not a thing.

Interstate · Answer

I would wait a significant amount of time, to let them get over their breakup before saying anything. After about a month, talk to them and get to know them if they approve. But even then, I would wait a LONG time before confessing. If you say anything now, it will appear as though you were preying on them JUST WAITING for that breakup. If they turn away and deny you the get-to-know-you process... it was for the best, and move on with life.

Minx7282 · Answer

I don't think it's pathetic as it takes a lot of time and patience with the major possibility for failure on receiving the outcome they want. Although I suppose it's dependant on the situation. That time could be spent finding someone who is more worthy of their time. But also I believe leaving relationships alone is the best outcome.

Still-alive · Answer

I always hated it when im interested in a girl and her reason for turning me down was “sorry but im waiting for my guy” im like oook well good luck with that then. :p

canucker90 · Answer

I think girls nowadays are so used to guys pursuing them and getting hit on social media that they expect guys to wait for them because it signifies his true intentions of her. FALSE! She most likely is doing it for an ego boost so its best to walk away.

rc321 · Answer

Love is always something worth fighting for. It's tough to fall in love with someone who is in a relationship as the feelings may not be mutual, however if you know that person is someone who goes through or has been in several short term relationships it's one that is worth visiting. We struggle to find love and find the definition of who is the right one, but if you think that person checks all the boxes than it's definitely something that is worth it.

GingerGuy · Answer

I wouldn't say "pathetic" specifically because there's no need to put someone down like that. You can't help who you fall in love with. You can't "control" feelings. I do think however that it's a waste of time and most likely (if not for certain), you won't get the end result that you want. And even if they did, I'd personally question that other person's true feelings for them.

DavidDong · Answer

You cannot trap yourself  I love a girl, but she is gone, far away. She is undeniably not Interested in me. Look, you just got to get back into the game, even if it's half assed.

CurlyGirl42 · Answer

I did do this once, and I did feel pathetic xD but that was what I felt. My feelings did change later though, when I naturally got over him with time.

pleasestopthis · Answer

I think it's extremely foolish. There's just the possibility of being together, maybe IF they break up. There's no guarantee they will ever break up soon enough (IF they ever break up) and life goes on. I can wait for someone who's definitely coming to me, but not for someone who's not even a real chance.

NyceGuyFinishingLast · Answer

It isn't pathetic as much as it is a waste of time and energy. That person would miss out on so much of their life waiting for a person that may never become available. In time it would be a huge regret for the person waiting.

kitkills · Answer

I think It's inconsiderate to put the doubt of that in someone's mind while they're in a relationship. It makes the other person feel responsible for the way you feel. Best case is just getting over it and finding someone available.

supercutebutt · Answer

Pinning your hopes and dreams on another person is always a mistake. Find your own happiness within yourself, you pathetic weirdos.

SaoirseS · Answer

I think calling it pathetic is a little too harsh. But hoping against hope would be emotionally draining for anyone.

diamondrose · Answer

Don’t tell them and don’t keep yourself from other opportunities bc of them. It’s sad to see someone say that and honestly is kind of hard to hear, but it takes strength to say it.

ChiTown33 · Answer

Not pathetic. I think it's silly. I mean why would you put your life on hold for someone else. For someone who might not be into you. Who may never be into you.

patriots123123 · Answer

Yes, you can't put your life on hold for someone else. There are other fish in the sea. Besides it makes the person waiting look desperate too.

Mystery_World · Answer

It doesn't work at all. I realized waiting sucks. You will keep thinking about them. that will cost your time and affect your profession. Just tell them to call you back if they're interested to date you when they breakup with their partner. So that you don't need to wait and can go on with your life.

rounddablock · Answer

No. You keep that to yourself. And it’s best to steer clear of them while they are with someone else. They will get used to seeing you as a friend.

MCheetah · Answer

No, it's not "pathetic." But it's not healthy, either.

JesseJayNeak · Answer

It's a "bruh" moment

iseekpinetrees · Answer

Yea its dumb to wait for someone who is taken. Better to live life in the now not fake future.

AdithyaR · Answer

Yeah it does sounds pathetic. Why would I wait around for someone to break up just to have a chance at dating? Better to just move on and never look back.

Sbily · Answer

It is not pathetic to wait but saying that while he is in relationships is very pathetic and wrong. You may raise your standards but it is not logical to wait just for sake of waiting.

michael1469 · Answer

Pretty much. There was a girl i wanted to date, she supposedly wanted to date me too... but i continued to date or hookup with other girls. She never seemed to either be single or have her shit together enough to make a move.

Tiptoetamm · Answer

My man was in jail for 3 months and I waited for him. If it's worth it and he or she is good to you then why not wait

CallmeTheKnight · Answer

Yes it is. A person has their own life to live and it should not be wasted by waiting on someone who clearly does not think the same.

Gwenhwyfar · Answer

It’s not pathetic to say that BUT you also shouldn’t wait for them either. Go on with your life and if they ever get single maybe they’ll look you up. (Of course, depending how strong your love is you may or may not have moved on yourself by then.)

sensible27 · Answer

I don't like the idea of telling them but there's nothing specifically wrong with it too. Sometimes it's okay, finding something or someone you really really like is rare so if you find them.. try to keep them : )) but yes we should be happy with ourselves enough that we don't really mind staying single. We enjoy it.

CasaNorba · Answer

yeah but chasing after him/her can put you in lots of pathetic situations. so choose your poison wisely

Justneedtokno · Answer

Yes and no. On one hand you want to be available to them but you do not want to stop your entire life.

Dchrls78104 · Answer

More than pathetic, it's a lost cause. Even if it happens, very likely your wait wouldn't have been worth it.

Wise4myage · Answer

Yes I do. You can't put your life on hold waiting for some one else. You could pass up other opportunities to meet the man of your dreams.

Eva2015 · Answer

Yes it is not only unhealthy, you are also wasting your time. I once had a crush on a guy who was in a relationship. I did not do a thing. I just continued on with life, looking for a nice SINGLE guy.

slatyb · Answer

I wouldn't call it pathetic, just unwise. "In love" with someone you don't really know is a crush. They may have no interest in dating you. Be open to dating others.

DaveToo · Answer

There have been instances where people fell in love at a young age, then broke up for some reason, and found each other decades later. The biological clock waits for no man nor woman.

2ndTryatThis · Answer

Yeah it seems wrong and disrespectful of their current relationship.. which will put a bad taste in their mouth when they think of you.

RHK36 · Answer

It's kind of harsh way to look at it, but yes. It's a waste of time and energy.

hi_it_is_me123 · Answer

I did not know that people do that lol. Why would anyone wait for a taken person to break up. Wtf

loveslongnails · Answer

It is pathetic, though there are some funny ways to let him know. Like saying " When she doesn't treat you right, look me up. I probably won't be available but, you never know". LOL

Hispanic-Cool-Guy · Answer

Yep, Its pathetic. Our minds tells us we won't find someone better but the reality at least my experience there's always better.

will34 · Answer

Well sometimes you just gotta take action and confront your own fear you can’t just sit back and pray for a miracle to happen you just got to man up and ask out somebody

MrImp · Answer

Don’t wait. Better chances will pass you by if you do.

TommyMountainFigure · Answer

I wouldn't but that doesn't mean I think other people who do are pathetic. Each to their own I say!

Jenngirl00 · Answer

I do not. People find it hard, but it is silly with the wait. If you are with someone in the military, it is part of the package, but seeing each other after a long time apart is amazing

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