Does not being married or in a relationship after your 30's mean you fail at life?

Question

I've seen woman who are older then 30 not complaining and enjoying life without thinking too much about relationships but with men it's different.
They won't throw a fit about it but every time some of their close friends get into a relationship, some become a bit bitter.
Why does that happen?

MrOracle · Accepted Answer

When you are young, being single is easy. You can still get plenty of attention and spend time with friends. As you get older, that becomes increasingly difficult as other people couple up and get busy. Being alone gets harder and lonelier as you age.

It's also more difficult to keep up the pace of work as you get older. But you need to have SIGNIFICANT money saved up to get through your final years. If you were 65 today and wanted to retire, and had no family to depend on, you could expect to need $2M to make it to 85 - keep in mind that due to health care needs, those final years can easily be your most expensive. Replacing children caring for you with an assisted living facility today can easily cost $8-10,000 per month. The alternative is a state-funded horror show.

With a partner to share expenses, and children to provide at least some of those years of care, you won't need as much money - but many women don't have even that much, so they will have to keep working and hope their health holds out.

The issue for women is that the number and quality of their partner options is inversely proportional to their youth and fertility. After 30, a woman's long-term partner options are much fewer and lower quality compared to her 20s. Too many don't understand or believe that these days until it's too late, but YouTube is full of women in their 30s and 40s who didn't believe it in their 20s, and now can't find a man.

So, make sure you understand the long-term implications of this decision, because after a certain point, it's too late.

djmzes · Accepted Answer

Simple

Does not being married or in a relationship after your 30's mean you fail at life?

It can be ur fault or not. Up to figure out if you are failure or not. Judge urself and once you find the answer, what you going to do is more important.
Also just because you realized it maybe, does not mean a reset button will appear... Life continues but you can steer in the right way if needs be.

aWes0MeNeSs · Accepted Answer

Absolutely not, and I have never understood people who think it does. Life is not a race or a competition. I know several couples who didn't find the right person until their 40's, 50's, or even later (they may have been previously married, but it didn't work out). Also, I know someone who was 32 when she got married, hardly dated at all before that, and is in one of the happiest and healthiest marriages I know, which has lasted for 30 years so far. On the contrary, I know several people in their 20's who have already been through at least one divorce, so getting married earlier does not guarantee anything, and definitely does not make someone better than anyone else.

BlackBeauty90 · Accepted Answer

ROFL. No. The measure of success is one's own happiness. Beyond that... who cares what others think. But there are many uneducated losers, deadbeats who'll never achieve anything in life, that'll tell you yes it is "failure".

Why would they say that? Because they've no ambition or drive to be anyone. In twenty years they will be the ones sitting at Tim Hortons and other coffee shops bitching about "unfair" life when they fucked themselves over by not trying to do more than the bare minimum with themselves.

coachTanthony · Answer

-----------------There will always be experts on the internet pushing this garbage. Life has ups and downs for everyone. Enjoy each day as they come.  ~Coach T Anthony @thedatecoach IG

Lliam · Answer

l don't think that makes you a failure. Have you ever had a relationship or are you just not in one or married right now?

I had relationships from the age of 16. But I never wanted to get married or have kids.
I don't even think I was mentally or emotionally mature enough to be a good husband until my mid-30s. I finally met my wife to be when I was 40. She was 38 and had never been married, either. We tied the knot two years later and have been happily married now for almost 25 years. She's wonderful.
We're both glad we never had kids.

I had a whole lot of fun all my life. Of course there were ups and downs, but I followed my own path and things turned out great. Life is a journey.

Everyone is different and shouldn't be judged by other's standards.

Anonymous · Answer

I dont understand why some men whore around in their 20s till they become 30 and want to get married with young girls but trashtalk single women in their 30s. Why would i want your used up ass and give birth to your mental ill kids due to your shit sperm quality? A new fresh dildo is better than you. 25 years old man is hotter than a 35 old man. When men get older, they tend to get uglier, fat, bald, sick and their sperm quality decrease which make you have mentall ill kids. etc. The older they get, the weaker is their immune system too. Biologically women want strong and healthy men with good sperm quality and only young guys have this. Men's life expectancy is shorter than women too. So i see zero sense in dating older guys. Older guys who seek way younger girls just want free nurses just because they dont want to live in nursing homes.

Paolaa988 · Answer

It sounds messed up to define someone by their relationship status. My sister got married young, but it didn't work and she got divorced sometimes it doesn't work when you're young. Some people it can, some it can't. I look at it like everyone has a different time. This isn't a competition. Sure id love and hope im married by my late 20s but i can't make something happen if it's not meant to be yet. This society standard is what pressures people to do things soo early on and it ends up failing or falling apart. My sister is now 42 and she has a boyfriend so if she can find a guy at that age then so can other women. People really make age a huge deal. It's how you care for yourself not what your birthday says.

PeacefulRainDrop · Answer

Nope life isn't a race.. I rather take my time and marry the right person the first time then rush down the isle before im ready.. it took too long to find the type of guy I wanted and imagined.. am I married nope will I be married before 30 nope thats only a few days away.. my cousin got married at 41 she's not a failure.. just do you dont stress about a man not being in your life one will come along.. sometimes the more you look the more you get depressed so just do something you always wanted to weather it be write a book, start your own business, buy a house, go back to school, get a pet do whatever it takes to make you happy spoil yourself to a spa day..

Know that you completely me saying is completely bullshit! You are a complete person on your own! You are looking for someone that adds value to your life.

Smoke-n-Growls · Answer

I mean, if you want bio kids, getting to your 30 s does put a timeline on things. But you can freeze eggs or adopt.

I don't think there's any failure in this at all, though. The whole idea that by a certain age you should have a house with a white picket fence, a dog, a yard, and 2.5 kids is just... So pointless.

Yes, do that if you want it from the bottom of your heart. But if you don't want it, then hell! Spend time figuring out what you do want!

There's too many people who let societal expectations and "the Life Script" take control. Self-determination is a gift we lose if we don't use it.

mobiusforniner · Answer

Not necessarily a "failure". I mean, I have a good friend whom I've known for over a decade. She is absolutely beautiful. She hasn't had a relationship in years. she's independent, strong and intelligent. But therin lies her uncanny conundrum... i feel men are afraid of her and she very much enjoys her freedom. So she remains perpetually single. And as much as she says it doesn't bother her, I know its does, because she misses out on the one thing that everyone else gets to experience except her. She won't give time to dating or commitment. I have difficulty managing my friendship with her because we were very close at one point. Now im married, i feel she resents that and we maintain this awkward back and forth dynamic which I think stems from her yearning to feel loved than not be loved at all.

Qdbrown · Answer

I would say as a woman who expects to start a family, yes. You have let many years go by not focusing on family.

Many women who see careers and educations as more important than kids, when at the point when they start having kids they leave the workplace for many years, sometimes forever. It's a wasted investment in time and resources.

Women should start families sooner if they want children while young and healthy, and then focus on education and career after their kids are school age or have left the house.

Floppy2112 · Answer

Oh man... Yeah, older single women resent women in relationships. I *believe* the reason is biological. The womb starts to 'dry up' starting at around 35. Biology wants to use that body to reproduce and if you haven't, the urge gets stronger and stronger. And if your brain has a body that hasn't reproduced, when you see you 'competition' getting what you biologically need, the reaction is a tempered desire to destroy that competition and take that mate.
From what I have read and studied on the topic, that is why...

OurManFlint · Answer

How one defines success is the determining metric to listing ones failures.

If having a traditional family is a high priority and personal desire, then being single up to and past the period of obtaining and/or creating that family makeup could certainly be considered a failure.

The issue a person's barometer of success often changes with their failures. If one has wanted to become professional ball player in their youth, around the time one turns 30 they begin to adjust their focus elsewhere, as the probability of going pro that late is near to zero.

I_want_a_moustache · Answer

No, I had an Aunt like this she never got married or had kids. You would think that would be depressing but she liked it because she could do whatever she pleased she was rich enough and had nothing else to do but spend it on herself. She went all over the world so that's really fulfilling even though she never settled down. When she died she left her money to charity and in my opinion that's as good of a legacy as having kids.

But then again I guess if you don't have money to amuse yourself then being single can be problematic.

DeltaCharlieEcho · Answer

If you’re a female it means that easy mode is over and you’ll actually have to develop skills and traits to be attractive. If you’re male, life is about to get significantly easier over the next 15 years. By 40 women live life on the impossible mode they made men their own age live on through their 20s and early 30s and while it doesn’t make me sad that this is going to be the first experience most women have with the real world, I take no particular joy in it either.

Life is about to really suck for you, so buckle up for your next 60 years.

Hotboy_booblover · Answer

Not at all.. there is a right time for everything.. everyone is living in a different time zone.. I have seen successful people dying in their early thirties.. like Bruce Lee, marylin monroe to name a few.. young people becoming CEOs not not even able to reach the age of 40.. so doesn't matter ur life is ur life.. experience it and enjoy

Kaneki05 · Answer

Hmm longs if i have some close realtionships like good friends. And having sex. Nah not for me. However not having close realtionships and not having sex at that age for me yeah... i would be super depressed and would not be happy with my life and not in the sense of how i have depression now this would be more active one than just always in the back of my mind.
This for me is a fail because i wouldn't be living life to a degree i would want to be at that age.

natured · Answer

Age is nothing but a number in this case, I think START actually starts at 30, i think it's not fair to think that somebody failed at life just because they didn't accomplish something in their 30s, because it's never too late for anything.
If somebody thinkgs differently then they might have some mental issues to solve.
Be free, live love and laugh
-D-

MissEm96 · Answer

Being married to a bum makes you a failure. Having managed to dodge a few bullets or realising that loving yourself is more important than tying yourself to the wrong man is in my book, a success. Society might place expectations on you. But the ones that matter are the ones you place on yourself.
I’m in a relationship now and I’m in my 30’s. My partner is still in his 20’s. I just enjoy it for what it is now and that’s all. At the end of the day, if you’re married and break up, you’ve got a lot more to lose on every level

JoeyRock · Answer

"fail at life" its such a weird expression.

What, people can fail at being alive? Fail as a human being?
Relationships are far too overvalued in society, especially in the older generations. I vividly remember old ladies gossiping about who has married and who hasn't'.

You really only "Fail at life" if you can't sustain yourself. That's the bottom line.

iseekpinetrees · Answer

I feel that if you haven't had a real relationship that's been long lasting as in has lasted for over a year at least by the time you are 30 then you failed at dating. Not life. Marriage doesn't mean you LIVED. But being in a relationship definitely means you have. And let's face it if someone hasn't been in a real relationship by 30 there's something wrong with them. Poor judgment, shitty personality something...

JackSmy · Answer

Every person chooses their life, and for some of us, marriage, and families, are just not what we want. Totally OK, to be single, but open to dating, and loves, but it would be a MIRACLE woman, that would make me want to marry, and have children. Just not my thing!
Not that I mess around, and I am NOT AT ALL, a "player" type, but I have a lot to give, and expect a lot, and so far, just some short term, "relationships" when we connect through work, or some shared focus.

SapioLuna · Answer

The dating pool in your 30s means it is more serious and people have established themselves at a young age. It means they know what they want as partners and most of the shallowness of teens and twenties have been changed to a more mature expectations in a partner.

Philippa_Sallow · Answer

It all just depends on what you want out of life. If being married or having a partner isn't that important to you, surely that means its irrelevant to how your life is going? Then again, if it IS important to you its understandable you might feel anxious. At any rate, you said yourself there are plenty of people that dont go that route who are just a happy as anyone else, it just depends what you make of it

ohshee · Answer

Don't you even think that way no that's not what it means it means that you have priorities you have responsibilities and you can manage all the above without a man I think you should be very proud of yourself

Anonymous · Answer

I got married before 30 to a man I eventually had to get a restraining order on for both me and out kids. I got married after 30 to a great guy I still have an amazing relationship with.
I do agree that it's more ideal to find your right match earlier, but if you don't find him (or her) until latter on that doesn't mean at all that you're a "failure"

jirwin7979 · Answer

not really i am 41 single but people are to judgmental on looks and how a person is suposed to be or act i am 41 with adhd and i get called a lot of names for acting like a kid... but if i had any friends or a girlfriend i would make the best as i am very loving and nice

InferiorElegy · Answer

Because with guys we are told our whole lives we are nothing if we don't have good job, love, our own family, if we aren't the providers we aren't worth shit.
I've been told my whole life how ugly I am and at times have been told how I'll always be alone. They were right, I am too ugly for anyone to want me and I've made peace with that.

Juxtapose · Answer

Life has no criteria for success or failure, you just live and eventually die like everybody else.

Anonymous · Answer

Those, who have a problem with it? They uninvitedly put their noses into matters, that they have no business in.

The only thing I can think of in terms of failing at life is if you are unable to sustain your own living (and leech off from the public) ergo a freeloader, that wants everything but expends no effort towards it, then repeats this cycle over and over again.

ColoradoKid · Answer

I was married... she passed away I was 30... she was pregnant.. I have not been in a relationship that was stable since... I am 43... I have thought that my life has been that way.

Haru_chan · Answer

You can still do great things in your life even if you are not married or have kids. It’s true that having your family is part of life but if you don’t doesn’t mean you are a loser or something.

scentoflavender · Answer

Stop caring what others do and don't do. There is no invisible line of goal and milestones you have to hit by a certain age. People who think that are just foolish.

SlightlyEccentric · Answer

Just the fact alone that I haven't killed myself yet from all the personal grief and depression I have means I've succeeded. If not being in a relationship makes me a loser, well then so be it, I'm a loser, but at least I'm content and accept that.

DollAlone · Answer

Im 45 and never been married but for the last 8 years been in a relationship with a guy who is 13 years younger than me. So i don't think i failed

Saville_Row · Answer

I think is worse to have failed by 30, which happens. It means you devoted your best years to something that got you nowhere. Of course, everyone's path is different and should run its course.

ewok737 · Answer

I'm 40 and never been married, couldn't see much positive in it from my vantage point. As far as seeing male friends getting married, I've seen more people be destroyed by it, a lot of times it turns into a pit you can't get out of.

TessCasie · Answer

Absolutely NOT!  you live your life the way you want not depending on societal norms. That’s the stupidest thing to think of.

bamesjond0069 · Answer

Its only important for women. Im 34 and my girlfriend is 18. Anytime im ready i can settle down and have kids. Now a woman at 34 is about the end of her line if she wants children or to be with a man who wants children so it is a big deal for them.

bobalife · Answer

Better to be single and happy until you meet the right person to be with more than being married to the wrong person and be miserable.

Anonymous · Answer

You have it back asswards.
Men can be single in their 30's no issue.
Women cannot be happy past 30 without a relationship, they may pretend they are but on the inside is a darkness that cannot be cured.

ZackBan · Answer

I don't know I recently met a 30 year old single woman who is very much attractive and sought after she just hasn't chosen that life yet

Interstate · Answer

HELL NO. For me, it means my life is right on track!

TheSpaceGnome · Answer

Slow and steady wins the race. I don't see the point of setting a time limit on finding the right person. Nor do I see a point in being envious.

AD240pCharlie · Answer

If your goal was to be married and have a family at that age, then yes, you have failed because you didn't achieve what you set out to. If you never had any plans for that, however, then no.

TheOracle10 · Answer

Not quite, but I'd advise having children and starting a family as soon as possible, living alone in your old age is hell, there is a reason there are so many suicides with elderly that have no children.

KrakenAttackin · Answer

These post-wall women partied hard in their 20's and spent their highest Sexual Market Value years riding the cock carousel, racking up a big body count. Now these women wonder "where have all the good men gone"?

Archerer · Answer

I must say I feel it’s the opposite way, women go crazy about turning thirty and not being married or having kids...

SheerKiss3 · Answer

Maybe you are just selective. Nothing wrong about it.

DWornock · Answer

Of course not. Would you say Mother Teresa, AKA Mother Mary Teresa Bojaxhiu , honoured in the Catholic Church as Saint Teresa of Calcutta, failed in life?

Hanrej · Answer

Hardly! Just got engaged myself and I'm 35. Besides, even if you don't find somone ever you're wrong to base "fail at life" on the priciple of becoming a couple.

There's more to life than relationships.

Seinna · Answer

If you're a woman then yes and currently it's my biggest fear. That's just my opinion though.

Sarahr123 · Answer

No. Thinking that relationships define you means you failed at life.

Ms_Vanderquack · Answer

That depends. Does your life have no value other than that associated with the people you date?

YOLOIFIC · Answer

No, nobody is a failure except maybe people like Hitler and Stalin. They’re failures.

exitseven · Answer

No. some people set involved with their career or education and don't have time for dating. Some people just don;t want to be in a relationship.

lovedejj_xo · Answer

No not at all
My aunt had a higher risk pregnancy at 40 she got married and they had their first kid so 🤷🏽‍♀️🤷🏽‍♀️🤷🏽‍♀️ Do I recommend that late in life …. no but to each it’s own

Kaamraj · Answer

You have it the other way around. Men are not subject to the "biological clock" as are women.

CallmeTheKnight · Answer

No, unless you have piss poor judgement when choosing partners

humanearth · Answer

No, who ever thinks that. Is coo coo for coco puffs

Anonymous · Answer

No, my aunt has been single her whole life and she's a very optimistic and positive person, far from better

Anonymous · Answer

As a man I wouldn't suggest getting married until after 30. In fact, I'd suggest only getting married when you're about to have kids. I would however advise marrying a girl in her 20s or marrying a girl you've been with since she was in her 20s.

JamesRandiDebates · Answer

It's just them feeling sorry for themselves for having hit the wall and not having been able to snag a Beta wallet yet to support them for the rest of their lives.

Does not being married or in a relationship after your 30's mean you fail at life?

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If you are not married by 30, is that bad?

Does not being married or in a relationship after your 30's mean you fail at life?

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