Why do I feel the need to almost cheat on my boyfriend?

[Anonymous]

I feel like I can’t tell anyone about this but I’ve been in a relationship with my boyfriend for five years and it’s been good except for in the beginning (1-2 years into relationship) he was always looking at other girls, like all the time. I remember thinking it was weird since he is with me? He would do it in front of me as well. He had certain girls that he did this with and especially with one woman, who became very interested in him. Anyways, I have always ALWAYS been super against cheating of any sort but I have felt not good enough in our relationship, not appreciated, I have been rejected when talking about marriage or children. I felt like he always had so many options but I didn’t because I stayed loyal, he put himself first etc. So about a year ago my eyes began to wander too.. I was looking at other men. It felt wrong but then I always told myself he does the same thing to me! So it felt ok, and he was still doing that. Now that we have lived away from each other for almost a year I feel like he have matured. I don’t see him looking at other girls the same way he had done before and I feel more appreciated in many ways but the thing is that now I feel like the tables have turned and suddenly it’s me who wants others attention. It’s awful I know! I would never get physical with anyone but I like the attention when they talk to me.

I don’t know what’s wrong with me or what to do. I like our relationship it’s nice, it’s stable. Then why do I feel this way? I also think I’m unhappy with myself. I don’t know who I am without him, I relay on him too much.

[ohshee]

There's nothing wrong with you you have questions for yourself everyday we grow everyday things changed on the outside and the outside world and on the inside and who we really are we all have an energy he lives within us I believe it to my teacher or guide and it warms this but with this energy there is it is an emotion there is a Feeling there is a beautifulness that comes with it there are things in life that we want to explore each and every day let's pretend for a second did you and I started talking online and let's pretend for a second you started to feel my energy on who I was in the words that I used when we are communicating if you were to feel that energy you would feel it rushing through your body and if it's something that you haven't never felt before you want to understand it and the only way to understand it is to experience it first of all you have to be honest with yourself before you can be honest with anybody else it's like going to school and learning something what's your experience it you can either say no that's not for me or it can change your outlook your personality and who you are within and you might desire it as I read your question you have so many things going on that I feel but I feel every single one of your words so very deep because you have and intense craving that you are thinking of and rushing through your head and your body and I wouldn't never ever say this to anybody but I honestly think you should explore it most of the time I would try to talk somebody out of feeling what they feel in your situation but there's something very powerful within your words that I cannot do that I think you should explode because there is a beautiful energy if you cannot already feel it and if you do not feel it with him you either need to explore it understand it incorporate it and take it back to him. Or explore it or experience it and watch you change your life but no matter what questions that you have I feel hurt so very intense and there is a beautifulness to comes with what you're searching for. And I do apologize with this whole answer because I am an empath and I'm thinking of three different things as I'm trying to explain to you what I'm trying to explain to you and I know none of it's probably making any sense it's hard for me to focus just on one thing because I feel so many things coming from you I would rather just talked to you that way I could stay focused on what I'm trying to say the only thing I really know is everything that you said it is something that you need to explore or experience before you get married or anything else because otherwise it will always be in your subconscious and you will always be thinking about it and you will never ever be 100% committed in a relationship it'll always be in the back of your mind and all I can say is what you're searching for is the most beautiful feeling in the world if you understand how to get it and use it because it's inside of you right now

[Hanrej]

People often underestimate the value of confimation. Weather or not you intend on actually doing anything it feels good to have attention.

Seems you're going through some changes and while I wouldn't recommend outright cheating there are alternatives to consider if you want to both have security and excitement.

[Hanrej]

Thanks for selecting my comment as the most helpful. Contract me if you want advice.

[NathanSG15]

At this point, it sounds like he’s not wanting a future with you, maybe he’s dating you because he’s afraid to be single again (happens more than you think). What about marriage? Have you guys talked about marrying? It also sounds like you are bored of the relationship. It would be way better for you to end it than to cheat. Because nothing good come from cheating. Also almost all guys “look”.

[Asker]

I know.

I said once “when we get married” and he said he doesn’t want to get married. I got sad and asked him why not? He changed the subject. He doesn’t want to talk about kids or marriage. Sometimes I feel like there is no “we” but rather me and him.

[NathanSG15]

Yeah I would definitely consider maybe leaving him if marriage isn’t important to you.

[NathanSG15]

Is**

[TommyMountainFigure]

It sounds to me like you still mad at him for how he treated you in the first couple of years! That might never leave you

Are you sure you are with the right guy for you? I'm not!

[Asker]

Yes I am!!

There were so much looking at other girls in the beginning and being open about it. I have been cheated on before so I don’t take small things too well.. it’s not like that today, at least not yet? But I can’t forget. I feel like it’s such a bad way to start a relationship. Last year I thought “this whole thing” was over but then a new girl (very good looking) entered our circle and he immediately started crushing on her. I know because how he talked about her with me and how he stared at her. It eventually faded because she have a boyfriend but it really made me feel bad about myself.

I care for him deeply but sometimes I don’t know. We never talk about our future it’s just the present. When I talk about kids or marriage he wants to shut me down, meanwhile I already know what to name my kids and how I want my wedding to be.

[humblepie420]

I feel like looking at other people is just human nature. I’m sure you’ve checked out other guys.. if you feel like cheating on him you probably don’t actually love him.. you’re just used to being around with him. Maybe your scared of being alone. If your. It happy in a relationship leave. It’s gonna hurt but the longer you stay around the worst it will be.

[Asker]

I am terrified of being alone and sometimes I get the feeling the is too.

[whatsthereinname]

Have you gone any farther than just looking at/for men.

While everyone loves attention to some extent, you should know what's your limit and abide by it. If you don't, you should talk it out with him

[Asker]

No never!

[Prideful]

Women (and men) are naturally promiscuous, just don't give up on that (unless your boyfriend is okay with that) or it can deeply hurt your partner.
Depends how chill he his you can tell him about that

[LoveIsFake]

Dump him instead, some guys kill themselves if they get cheated on

[Asker]

I would never cheat on him.

[LoveIsFake]

To be honest I'm about marriage, kids and loyalty but apparently that's too much to ask for these days. Here I am like where are all those girls? Probably single or given up. Props for not giving up and sticking to your beliefs.

[es20490446e]

You are stopping you from a constructive pleasure.

[CreamySeed]

Looking at others girls is not cheating wtf.

[Asker]

Constantly checking out other women, having a crush on another woman and showing her interest is cheating.

[CreamySeed]

Did he admit to this or did u imagine it

[monstertruckgamer393]

jst leave him dont be with his toxic ass

[Asker]

What?

[monstertruckgamer393]

do you speak English?

[anylolone]

You've been looking for way longer, kid...