Are codependent women better lifetime mates for men?

[SunnyFlorida]

Co-dependency is "characterized by excessive emotional or psychological reliance on a partner." I'm viewing this not in terms of neediness, but in terms of views negative traits in the best light possible. Seems like a good thing for a lifetime mate. Codependency is bad for women who select bad men, but seems like a good thing IF a woman selects a good man.

Updates

+1 y

The term "codependent" has many DIFFERENT interpretations and connotations. I was using Comedian Whitney Cummings definition that her "man picker" was broken. She describes herself as codependent, meaning if she likes a man, she finds the positive in a negative. Her example is a man she likes is married, so her codependence translates into a positive..."not afraid of commitment." https://youtu.be/Mf1JFxTSr5Q?t=192

[ArrowheadSW]

I definitely see what you are saying because I've thought of it often. I'm like the least codependent person there is... LOL... I agree that codependency has many different meanings, as you mention. I think a small degree of it might actually help keep a long term relationship going. Assuming it isn't to some toxic level of course.

I dated a woman with codependent traits for a long time and I really didn't like it at all. She kept telling me that she would work on the issues but the next day, things were still the same. She did get into therapy and the thankfully we split up. Being with someone who needed a codependent didn't work for me AT ALL.

[DeltaCharlieEcho]

All women are codependent from a biological perspective. There's no such thing as an independent woman. Be it with partner, family, or friends women rely on others to form their opinions.

[SunnyFlorida]

That is a good point. I think codependency exists in many women and is not inherently a bad thing. A woman's nurturing her children is a form of codependency - a mother's ability to love her children no matter what the child does, but is not a bad thing. Codependency in the extreme may be bad, but most things in the extreme are a bad thing.

[MzAsh]

No. A codependent woman won’t be able to navigate a relationship’s challenges properly. She’s also not likely going to be valued enough as a woman should be within a relationship. You can be a good man or even a great man, and you can like her and how like how much she emotionally relies on your for her own survival and happiness, but it will be rooted in your own excessive need to be relied on, and you’ll still lack respect and value for her in that sense.

[TrueConfection]

I would think that kind of woman would be overbearing, needing to control and mother her partner. Codependent women tend to look for broken men to "fix".

[bamesjond0069]

Far better. Independent women are absolutely terrible for relationships. If a woman doesn't need you its only a matter of time before she leaves or sabotages things. Wanting you is not enough. As most men and women will agree women often change their minds a lot and thats if they even know what they want. 😂 Being wanted means nothing.

[MotorcycleMan]

It can work if that works for you. Personally, I prefer a woman who is more self-reliant and less needy. I find that it just takes too much work to deal with someone who is excessively needy.

[Pandupillu]

I think a woman's nurturing quality naturally makes her codependent. I think it is one trait that naturally occurs in women. It is not a negative thing.

[loves2learn]

No. Codependence is not healthy. People need to be independently happy from each other.

[loves2learn]

Look up Pia Melody. I agree with her assessment of codependence. Which she used to call codependency but her editors made her change it. 😂

[PositiveNote]

Absolutely not! A codependent person will drive a mate absolutely crazy!!!

[PositiveNote]

Just to help those who may not completely understand what codependency is: www.fortbehavioral.com/.../

[Aquariusmystery]

I think it depends on the man. If he likes space then no. If he is also codependent then yeah

[he-takes-a-part]

Better lifetime mates but one has to have a lot of toleration and understanding bcoz all they have to share with you is their emotional baggage

[Anonymous]

Codependent women aren't for me. If she can't sustain herself, then that's a problem she must resolve.

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

Yeah sure. In due time he would want to smash her head in for being so annoying.

[Not_Average]

Codependency is toxic.

[dray995]

Can you clarify what you mean?

[SunnyFlorida]

Codependency has many definitions. In my mind, codependence in a woman is similar to how a mother's unwavering love for her child, regardless of what the child has done. That the woman has a similarly unwavering love for a man, her partner.

[dray995]

Sure. Would be fine then. I see that more as devotion. Why would she be dependent on a guy?

[SunnyFlorida]

In many women, it is just in their nature. It's also the reason why women who date jerks tend to stay with the jerks in a dead-end relationship far too long. It is this reason that I think many women give it a negative connotation. I think the quality is inherently good, but is often applied in the wrong relationship.

[Hanmakev]

Yes and no because their inconvenient

[anylolone]

Nope.

[Slim57]

Of course