What to do if my boyfriend hasn’t shown interest in my nudes anymore?

[Anonymous]

My relationship with my boyfriend has been 2 years and a handful of months now. We’re doing long distance because of school but we do spend time with each other at least once a day and meet up as much as possible. Anyway though, this problem kind of started a few months to a year back when I would send him nudes, expecting a decent reaction to them since I took the time out to take a good picture for him, and he doesn’t acknowledge it or says anything about it.

when I confronted him about this, his excuse is that he’s either busy/tired/just woke up/etc the list goes on. It makes me want to stop sending him nudes but when I do that, shortly afterwards, he begs for them again. I’m not sure how to go about it and feel about it either because the other night when we videoed called he made sure his roommate wasn’t there so he could do a sexy call not really asking me if I wanted to do it or if I was busy myself.

[caring__1]

You are more than just a body, yet it appears you feel no value to him if he isn't focusing on your body. It might be that you aren't aware of what he values in his relationship with you, other than your body. Find out what drew him to you in the first place and what has kept him coming back, and what he misses most when you aren't around. The more you understand how he views relationships, the easier it will be for you to offer a variety of things rather than put all your eggs in one basket and focus just on one.

A simple tool to help in this exploration and discovery is for the two of you to make a list of all words you believe have something to do with relationships (ie trust, commitment, honesty, intimacy, relationship, marriage, family, trust, belonging, sexuality, sensuality, communication, partnership, compromise, consideration, love, respect, loyalty, etc.). Both of you can have access to this list and add any term that may pop into your mind at any time. When the two of you have time to share (be considerate of the demands of college), pick one of the terms and discuss it in detail. The important part is learning how the other sees and understands the term, not insisting you be heard. Seek clarification and examples whenever you still don't understand his perspective. Never make assumptions or project your desires or fears onto him.

Find a way to make this relationship multidimensional if you want it to survive the separation and beyond.

[MrOracle]

This is the problem that ALL LDRs face: it's basically impossible to maintain the passion for the relationship when you spend so little time with each other in person, and eventually even nude pics don't do it anymore. People were not designed to be in relationships where you don't spend time together, and your brain has a "grieving mechanism" built in where, after about 90 days apart, it starts to disconnect from the other person. It's primary purpose is to allow you to deal with the death of a loved one, but it also kicks in when you are separated for a long time.

This is no one's fault - it's simply the norm for LDRs, which is why they rarely work. You might be able to keep yours together because you do see each other from time to time, but you have to expect that when you're apart, he's going to struggle to maintain his interest and attention, because that's a natural, normal thing.

[CaliGirlBH]

Rule of thumb is never send nude pictures to anyone to their phone or email you just can't be sure where the pictures will end up.
Sounds like you both need to communicate better, you have to be blunt and just speak to the point don't candy coat things. If your feeling a certain way just be blunt and tell him.

[coffeismytea]

my the chemistry is wearing off? Maybe it's time to break apart? Maybe he's cheating?
Could be a number of things, the best way to go about it is communication, talking to him, share your concerns and ask the questions to the source, not to random strangers on the internet.

[Danny_dan92]

He’s used to it. Doesn’t necessarily mean it’s a bad thing. I would actually say it’s a bad sign if he doesn’t want to have sex with you anymore

[VDrago14]

He's used to seeing them, it's a complacency thing like any other aspect of a relationship.

[hakangirer]

I would like to ask you something in the message.

[Asker]

What? Why?

[hakangirer]

I'm wondering please