Am I being insecure?

[Anonymous]

I ask my boyfriend a lot if he really loves me or cares about me I had a tough childhood and it’s hard for me to feel genuinely loved.

[caring__1]

Nothing a person can say, following a request for reassurance, will give us more than just a momentary lift. If we ask for it, whatever we get has no enduring value. When you ask constantly, you come across insatiable, and that lowers the other person's motivation to freely give it. Ideally, he stops giving you reassurance when you seek it and starts giving it to you when you aren't seeking it.

Though words are valued by girls, guys generally realize that actions speak louder than words. Focus on giving and showing appreciation when you receive. That will have more value to you than constantly asking for empty words. Show him you are enjoying being with him. Set the stage for sharing quality experiences rather than sit back and wait for him to initiate. Model the behavior you wish to see rather than expect it or demand it. Do you actually get anything out of it when you say "tell me you love me," and he responds with "I love you"? Give me world peace... poof, there's world peace.

[Honesttguy]

And needy wich is gross and he gonna end up pushing you away cus you are like dog who jumps in face and licks licks licks. Give me attention, give me attention, stop whining. Its annoying.
If you had tough childhood, didn't that make you stronger? And why not? I had tough childhood but im all independent and dont need no love from no one. All love i need is already inside of me and it comes from me.
Maybe you missed your life lesson from childhood. And made choice to be victim.

[Bigtitz7]

Yes it is important to have self love. But please don’t judge people you don’t know. You came off very rude and you could’ve said what you said a lot nicer. Everyone needs reassurance and it’s ok to ask your SO questions. There is nothing wrong with that.

[Honesttguy]

@Bigtitz7 can you give me example of saying what i said in a lot nicer way without losing the message behind it?

[Asker]

Your terrible

[Honesttguy]

Im terrible thats fine but also not important at all. Better question did you miss the message? Are you even willing to improve? Or do you just want people to feel sorry for you? I can tell you right now if you keep pursuing guys with that needy energy you are gonna chase them away, simple as that, its just how things work in this life. Again lesson there.

[Bigtitz7]

@asker ignore him. He is the filthy needy dog. Who constantly needs women’s validation and attention. The thing to remember is to always be open and communicate with your partner. Best of luck to you hun!!

[Honesttguy]

@Bigtitz7 I like back massages. And will wiggle my tale.

[Honesttguy]

I ment tail*

[Bigtitz7]

OMG LMFAO!!! You can’t even spell!!!

[Honesttguy]

@Bigtitz7 i know pretty bad. What can you do about it? Not much

[friendlypixie]

You sound like you are, but that's fine; you can improve on it. Ask him if he loves you, and if he answers yes, you can bet he is. Why would he pretend to be in love with you? if it feels sincere you'll just have to trust him and believe he does

[Asker]

I’ve had a lot of people turn their backs on me in my life time almost everybody. I feel he is sincere he told me he was sometimes I just get a little bit skeptical when he doesn’t text me back or doesn’t call me.

[Asker]

Which is bad to put my emotional baggage on him

[friendlypixie]

Some people just aren't the talkative type. you could, however, try to speak with a specialist about your concerns. also, some people prefer to communicate in person rather than over text. Also, he might be too tired or busy to talk at times. That isn't to say he doesn't care or love you

[SofiSin667]

It’s obvious that you don’t love yourself. With that in mind, you’re never going to be happy with your boyfriend or anyone else until you get that fixed.

[Asker]

I understand where you would think that but I really do love myself , I’ve fought the battles I’ve needed to fight and I’m comfortable with myself now

[SofiSin667]

No, you’re don’t because if you did you wouldn’t be behaving like that.

[SofiSin667]

*you

[Asker]

I thought getting on this app I would at least find some good opinions but I just keep getting insults

[SofiSin667]

I’m not insulting you. We’re getting to the root of the problem which you’re already aware of.

[Asker]

Explain please

[Bigtitz7]

@Honesttguy well first try not to compare her to a dog. You could’ve said you can ask for reassurance but don’t ask every second of everyday, that might annoy him.

[Bigtitz7]

And also just because you also had a tough childhood doesn’t mean the way you grew from the experience is the only right way. Everyone is different and it’s important to always remember you don’t know what they have been through.

[Honesttguy]

You didn't deliver, you talk a lot but when it comes to delivering me something where is it? Comparing to dog i think was perfect cus thats the closes relatable energy that behaviour gives off and would be able to understand by most people. Obviously if she knew what she waa doing i wouldn't need to have example but she doesn't so i have to give picture to look at simple enought for everyone to understand. And where did i say my way is the only way? I literally asked you for better example. Did you miss that part?

[Bigtitz7]

You acting like you have some big dick energy right know when I bet you don’t deliver either. And I did tell you how to improve. YOU missed that part. Also fix your grammar and spelling you sound like a second grader.

[Honesttguy]

Well i guess i did miss that part, it just sounded too plain for me, I really like my version better tho it's spicy, spikes up emotion, definitely got you involved. Luckily there are many people who can share their opinions here so if my version is not good for her at least you can share your own version.

[Ironic_Method]

Yes, thats being insecure.