If my gut is telling me something is off with my boyfriend should I listen to it?

Question

It’s hard to explain but sometimes I feel like I don’t want to see my boyfriend. We’ve dated for a year, and he’s great, we get on well and have lots of chemistry and similar interests etc, but sometimes he can be a bit selfish.
Even with sexual things, he wants me to give head, swallow etc and I don’t like it, I’ve told him and he just says we will take it slow, practice whatever but I don’t want to.
I can’t explain it but there’s something that turns me off and irks me about him, I’m attracted to him but there’s something I can’t explain in my gut. Even my mom and sister say I deserve more/better, he always puts his parents first, it’s a long story.
I did break up with him once but I was so upset and we got back together a week later... he buys me gifts and loves me but my gut is off... why?

RiverUndertheSkY · Accepted Answer

Some people are physically but not emotionally compatible. It's normal and it's one of the things that people have to navigate when determining what type of relationships they have with others - whether it's purely platonic, friends with benefits, no relationship or an actual commitmented relationship, etc.

There's a saying that goes "women get with men because they think they'll change and men get with women expecting they won't"

Relationships are also about compromise as well and I see you are trying meet his needs, but the question is - is he meeting yours? Or are both of your needs/vaules conflicting with each other.

If it gets to a point that you would start to want to avoid your boyfriend because of how uncomfortable it makes you - then it's an issue that needs to be addressed now rather than later on.

Personally my policy is to never date someone
1. Whose values conflicts with your values
2. Who doesn't respect you
3. Who your family doesn't like

These are clear indicators of a rough relationship and would recommend you talk with your boyfriend about it - you may change your mind in the future and maybe not but it's worth talking about if you two are going to be in it for the long haul.

skyeee01 · Accepted Answer

Gut instincts are typically correct and if you're feeling a bit off and questioning the relationship then something obviously isn't quite right:( you could maybe have a chat with him and try to explain this or if your family even think you deserve better then I think that says a lot ! Sadly sometimes we have to let go of people we don't want to but it works out for the better in the long run x

Fireguy17 · Accepted Answer

listen to your inner voice.
It is ok to be alone until you find someone that will take your feelings into account, and you will feel more comfortable with.
It may not be easy, but do you still want to feel this way, and him behaving and treating you the same way 20 years from now?

noohair · Accepted Answer

I have found that in my experience, my gut was usually right. I now trust my gut feeling much more.

Danny_dan92 · Answer

Gut feelings are typically spot on

AntiChrist66666 · Answer

is he fat ugly or smelly

Anonymous · Answer

Since when do guys give head and swallow?

If my gut is telling me something is off with my boyfriend should I listen to it?

Most Helpful Opinions

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said