Why Would You Marry Someone knowing They Don’t Want Children? (Page 2)

[Anonymous]

You're selfish and it pushed him to search for a fully functional woman somewhere else. You had no right to make that decision for the both of you. Shame on you

[Jackblue]

I think he was probably just using that as an excuse to cheat.

[SuccessfulHornDog]

You could not have done anything more than be honest with him. People should listen to each other and believe what they say.

[Retiever]

My wife made that mistake when she married me, we already had three chiffon combined and me already have been exposed to a lot of stuff overseas I was to worried about what the affects would be.

[boxxie2002]

What a Muppet.
U think that it... they think they can change your mind and it's just a phase.
All the best as you part ways. Hopefully he's mature enough to know he's the one in the wrong

[SenseiSeptred]

Let's just say that there is a reason why western society based medication is not allowed in my home.

[aWes0MeNeSs]

What do you mean by this exactly? Do you think western society based medication can create side effects of people losing the desire to have children? I am interested to hear your thoughts because I definitely notice a lot of other side effects from certain medications (namely SSRIs, which I was on for years as an adolescent and created all sorts of issues for me), and with the increase of people not wanting children (myself included, and I also don't have a desire for sex or relationships either), it would be interesting to see if there is a connection. I never really thought about that possibility.

[SenseiSeptred]

Yes, many of them can create multiple side effects that can cause a serious amount of people that don't end up wanting children. The biggest part is that it is against my spiritual being to have western society medicine in my home, especially birth control.

[aWes0MeNeSs]

I can definitely understand that! There are so many meds with bad side effects that seem about as bad as what the meds are supposed to help with!

[Honestguyopen]

Yes. Things like having children should be agreed upon during courtship.

[aWes0MeNeSs]

100% agreed. Two people not being on the same page about this is incompatibility in my opinion, as there is no compromising on this and one person will be unhappy no matter the outcome. This is a pretty big deal and something that needs to be addressed early on so both parties can go their separate ways if they don't see eye to eye on it.

[Irrfan_East]

Things should have been cleared before the marriage. I think you guys shouldn't marry in the first place.

[Cherrylicious]

I agree it's very stupid to date/marry anyone who wants different things.

[bamesjond0069]

No. Makes no sense. Marriage is for family. Should never have got married.

[007kingifrit]

well to be fair every woman changes her mind eventually...26 or 60 it always happens eventually

but its a first date question for me

[aWes0MeNeSs]

I wouldn't say every woman changes her mind, though some definitely do. There are others though that never did want kids and never regret it. I don't think having kids is for everyone, myself.

[007kingifrit]

@aWes0MeNeSs not having kids is like the #1 regret shared by old people. something like 90% eventually admit it even if on their death bed.

and the other 10% probably just weren't brave enough to admit it

[aWes0MeNeSs]

I think there are people who have never wanted it and don't regret it, as not every lifestyle is for everyone.

[cookiecrusher]

Wouldn't mind.

We can also figure out adoption or other forms. Helps to have this discussion before marriage.

[Anonymous]

I would do it because I already had kids, maybe you just need to find someone that already did or is older and knows already what they want with out lying to you

[Anonymous]

Because its only normal to wanna have kids he might have really wanted it but really wanted u so.

[Anonymous]

Because hope because you're sucking on it I don't know

[LivingExample]

Sorry that happened to you. Cheating is one thing. Having babies is another thing!

[Joshua0213]

Id never even date someone who didn't want kids tbh

[LegendaryIcon]

Phoebe didn't want kids. She eventually changed her mind, and stayed with Mike

[koolbrz]

I wouldn't marry knowing it so this won't be a problem to me

[Anonymous]

Yeah. Go ahead and take his alimoney while you're at it 😍😍😍

[Opinion Owner]

Teach him what it means to cheat on a childfree wifey by walking away with some 💰💰💰 from him😀

[TheAfrikan]

I would not marry someone who does not love kids or wanna have kids.

[FreyaRed]

Another guy who doesn't know what he wants

[EstevanMadrid898]

I would ask my wife if I could knock up another woman then lol

[butterfingersaredope]

People can change their minds

[jshm2]

Well... aren't you feeling stupid now then, kiddo?

[aWes0MeNeSs]

While I agree if this was discussed in the early stages of dating and long before marriage (and if not, it definitely should've been) that it should've been a red flag that they weren't both on the same page to begin with, I don't think it justifies the cheating at all. I think it was a mistake on both ends to not recognize that they were incompatible, but also a mistake on his end to count on her to eventually change her mind (and on her end as well if she expected him to change his mind). I still think he could've just told her that there was no way it was going to work out because it was very important to him to have kids, rather than to just go off and cheat. I'll never get why people can't just leave if they're that unhappy.

[Jonny59]

good for him
he deserves better :)

[aWes0MeNeSs]

Why would you say this? I personally think this should've been discussed early on in the relationship (and if it was, they should've parted ways when they realized they were not on the same page about this, as it is an incompatibility and there is no compromising when it comes to having kids or not), so it's definitely very likely that both parties have some ownership in marrying when this relationship was doomed from the start, but there is certainly a better way to go about this than cheating. The better way to have handled it would have been to be honest and told her that there's no way he can be happy in a childfree marriage, and to proceed with a divorce.

I also wouldn't fault people who don't want children, as having kids is not for everyone, and it's definitely better that people recognize that they don't want children, would not make good parents, would not be able to give children the quality of life they deserve, have some sort of genetic issues they don't want to pass on, etc. and decide to not have them, than to have them despite any of these reasons and have it affect both them, the child, and the marriage (as kids can definitely tell when they are not wanted or when one or both of their parents are unhappy, and typically when one person in a household is miserable, so is everyone else). I am not sure why some people treat those who recognize that they don't want kids/for whatever reason are better off not having them as if they are subhuman or bad people in general.

[TaleTeller]

I wouldn't!
Too big a point of contention!!!

[Ironic_Method]

I prefer partners who don't want kids.

[Redstang88]

Only way I’d even consider it

[lovedejj_xo]

I don’t really want children so yes.

[kitkills]

Because marriage doesn't mean you want kids-

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't. That is a deal breaker for me.

[ChiPaPa]

That's fucked up

[BigManSAB]

Yes l don’t want children

[Dinosaursandanime65]

That’s another reason to do so

[noohair]

My daughter is the best thing to happen to me.

[Jonny59]

thank god a sane person
all these people saying no to a child is so selfish and I don't care if they say its not
IT IS SELFISH

[aWes0MeNeSs]

@Jonny59 What exactly makes not wanting children selfish? I do agree that it is selfish to expect to deprive a partner who wants kids of them (though in that case, the answer is breakup/divorce, as it's equally as selfish to expect a partner who doesn't want kids to have them, and this is a huge incompatibility that cannot be compromised on), though I don't see why it's selfish to not want any in general. I have seen several people who selfishly had kids they couldn't/wouldn't properly care for, but have never seen a selfish outcome or reason for not having any, provided both people in a relationship were on the same page about not having kids.

[Djaay]

I wouldn't... end of story.

[Babygirl_S]

I wouldn't.

[Iron_Man]

Probably not

[robocop666]

I dont want kids and I will never get married

[Slim57]

Yes I don't want them either

[Anonymous]

he could have changed his mind too?

[Jmmmfi4]

Hell yes I would

[Julious0202]

no way

[girlinthemirror]

Its ok for me...

[MJtheCoach]

I would love that

[Lost_in_the_Woods]

Bro had it all and traded it for a headache. 🤣😂🤣

[MJtheCoach]

Yeah you know you women and children are annoying as fk

[postaldudePL123]

Coz neither do I