What do you think of open relationships?

[kyliesz]

Im in a open relationship right now which is pretty great so far. I am able to focus on my self and keep exploring at the same time. There are no expectations or disappointments. I know he is seeing other girls and im seeing other guys but we dont talk about it when we are together. I dont think I could ever be in a real relationship w this person because it would be hard to unsee all of this LOL but anyway would u ever do it?

Updates

+1 y

Jeez didn't think this question would get so much hate. People need different things in different times. I've never actually been single for years and Im craving freedom fun and sex. I dont want to date because i want to date my self and work on self love. Whats so gross about just being able to have sex and do little things like going for food or watch a movie together once in a while. I feel like everyone is getting too stuck up on the term i used. Open relationship, friends w benefits etc.

[zeitgeist057]

An open relationship can span a wide spectrum of possibilities, just as a monogamous relationship can. Neither framework is inherently healthy or unhealthy, it depends on the participants.

That said, open/polyamourus relationships have a greater potential for growth, compassion, maturity, and selflessness. There is a greater potential for letting go of fear, insecurity, jealousy, ego attachment, and other negative aspects of our psyche.

Unfortunately, the majority of people are simply underdeveloped emotionally, and have overdeveloped egos which prevent even an ability to see the potential. They don't have the confidence in their own worth to tolerate what they view as "competition". (Polyamory is about cooperation, rather than competition). Their limited perspectives and petty thinking have them obsessed with the sexual aspect, and their lizard brain kicks in with possessive mindsets of how their partner's genitals belong to them and them alone. This objectification, framing the other person as an object for your enjoyment, that you have exclusive rights to their body, is anathema to the inclusivity of an open relationship.

There are many articles written about "love without limits", ethical non-monogamy, and a broad range of parallel subjects, as well as forums full of people working on their relationships. The truth is, polyamory can be a test. It requires a lot of effort to engage in and sustain more than one healthy romantic relationship. Much more work than monogamy, and getting over your ego, insecurity, and the mainstream culture of normalizing possessive and competitive frameworks, is just the first step of many.

That said, "open" can just be another way of saying you're just messing around with whomever until you decide to fixate on one person and become exclusive with them. This is what most people, who lack the depth and maturity required, mean when they talk about being open/polyamourus/ethically non-monogamous. It's not really about being open, it's a beginning stage of being closed.

[t-8900]

I disagree. But hey if you want to have one and your wife comes home with another man's child I guess you'll be sticking around for it because y'know all the ramifications were considered first. Oh... and then the heightened risk for STDs. I dont see how such a thing is "selfless". You're literally just giving into primal urges every time. Why get married? Why even shack up? Why doesn't everyone on every block just bang every neighbor then? Hell lets have the entire world population marry itself so we can all just mindlessly f*ck. Who cares about anything else. This isn't about ego, this is a dangerous game people play. Humans are complex creatures and their emotions vary heavily person to person. There are situations in which open relationships go really , really toxic when one person catches serious feelings and then wants monogamy and the other does not. And it could be AFTER the wedding and all that.

People are weird about how/when they communicate such things but... I dont think it's the right way to raise a family or children and there has been times in history where this system had backfired horribly (mostly in the middle east). I think real love is when you make one person your center and stick with them through all the hardships being thrown at you both. And when you grow old and ugly and that love hasn't faltered. The issue is that we just live in a hedonistic society now. If you're already sharing a woman actively then why the hell not just get a prostitute?

I for one finding regurgitating repulsive to actively be sharing a vagina with another guy, rubbing up against his stuff, potentially eating it while going down on her. To me you'd have to be some level of homosexual for that.

[zeitgeist057]

To answer some of these hyperbolic questions seriously:

1. Q: Why doesn't everyone on the block just bang every neighbor then? (and other such statements/questions about "mindlessly fucking", "primal urges", "STDs", etc.)
A: Being open doesn't mean you don't have standards. I don't have sex with any of my neighbors. In fact, I don't have sex with 99.99% of people. I might have sex with a few more than you do, but also I might have sex with less than some "monogamous" people (a. k. a. 'serial monogamists'). I simply allow for the fact that the people I'm attracted to and choose to have sex with might overlap chronologically.

Example:
"Monogamous Person": Has sex with 8 different partners over a period of 4 years. Average, one every 6 months. Never has sex with two people during the same chronological period.
"Polyamourus Person": Has sex with 4 different people over a period of 4 years. Average, one per year. All partners may or may not overlap chronologically. There may be breaks of sexual activity or returns to activity.

Point being, once a polyamorous person has made a loving connection with another person, they are not limited by the "one person at a time" rule. They are open and inclusive. They of course can CHOOSE not to have sex, or discontinue having sex. It's just not forced by their or someone else's jealousy, insecurity, or homophobia. It means if you truly love someone, you can let them go and not stress about if someone else comes along. Your love is still allowed to exist and be expressed.

[t-8900]

The way poly is presented to me was basically couples stacking up, cuckery, and sometimes multiple men with one woman and multiple women with one or a few men...
All sharing the bedroom.

[zeitgeist057]

Q: "repulsive to actively be sharing a vagina with another guy... If you're already sharing a woman actively then why the hell not just get a prostitute? "

A: A woman is not an object to be shared. She is not "a vagina" that I am passing back and forth with someone else. She's a living being, and the connection we have is intimate, based on understanding and acceptance of each other. Sex is a physical expression and manifestation of love.

Prostitution, on the other hand, is something entirely different. That is a transaction, where one person agrees to provide a service for a monetary amount, much like agreeing to wash your car or play music at your wedding. There is no intimacy or connection there, although I'm guessing some more proficient sex workers attempt to provide a satisfying illusion according to the customer's kink.

As for multiple partners and expression, I don't allow those I love to dictate who else I love, and I don't expect to exert that dominion or manipulation over them, either. We both have autonomy, and if she has connections to others that are fulfilling, I encourage that. Love is a precious gift to be cherished, not an enemy to snuff out. I want my friends, family, and lovers to have good relationships with their friends, family, and lovers. Whether platonic or romantic, love is wonderful and too few people actually understand and nurture it.

[t-8900]

Bro it's not about love or objectification. Simply put are you going to go right in or just an hour or two after she's done it with another dude? Lock lips with her after she gave oral? There's nothing to be romanticized in that. It's dirty and gross and honestly... on the he cusp of homosexuality

[zeitgeist057]

3. Q: "Why get married?"
A: Why, indeed. This is a personal question, and there are many personal answers based on the different ideas people have about what marriage is.

To me, marriage is a promise to continue to feel the same way you do on the day you get married, for the rest of your life. That is, you are promising you won't stop loving them. It's kind of a naive promise, since there's no way to know who you will become, or how you will feel about ANYTHING. You might decide to become a monk, or kill yourself, or dedicate your life to studying the human genome. You might meet someone and fall in love. You might fall out of love. You will probably change in some way.

I think there's no reason to get married, whether you are monogamous or polyamorous. If you are going to always love a person the same way you do today, there's no need to make a big ceremony and sign legal documentation about it. What's true is true, regardless of the paperwork. The only reason you need to do that is because people are insecure, because they KNOW that people change, that they might change, but they FEAR it, they don't want things to change. They know they are happy right in that moment and they want to hold onto it forever, so they want to make promises and swear up and down that it will always be like that. But statistics show they are making liars out of themselves more often than not.

If you want to dedicate yourself to someone, or multiple people. Lovers, children, family, friends, a cause. Save your breath and just do it rather than talk about it.

[zeitgeist057]

@t-8900 The "way poly was presented" sounds like an orgy or a cult, lol. I mean, there are all sorts of different arrangements that fall under the big blanket of "poly" since it literally means "many". But just as a triangle is different from a parallelogram, which are different from a cube or a sphere, "many" can take a lot of different forms. Swinging is sort of a subset example, where a couple trades partners, but they just do it for a night, or every once in a while as a way to "spice it up" or have a little variety, but still feel safe and like they are more or less keeping their monogamous relationship fidelity.

[zeitgeist057]

@t-8900 the fantasy examples you are giving where you're drinking the semen of another man out of your lover's mouth or vagina are quite off-base from my experience. That's more if you are having an orgy or a MFM threesome. My sexual interactions usually consist of having sex, then cleaning up, then we spend the rest of the night together, cuddling or sleeping or whatever. If in the morning, take a shower after. Just like I'm cleaning up afterwards, my female partners do the same thing, and as far as I practice, and as far as I know, we are not doing back to back sex sessions with another partner moments or even hours later.

[zeitgeist057]

The reality of it is more like I'm spending my day with Jennifer, we make some food, go for a walk, chat and just be together. Maybe we don't even have sex. Spend the night together, in the morning go to our jobs or school or whatever thing we have planned apart. Maybe I text her and ask if she wants to play a game and she texts back "I've got plans already, how about Saturday night?". Maybe she's going to spend the next couple days alone, or she has work, or maybe (gasp) she's hanging out with another guy. Doesn't matter much to me, she can spend her time as she likes as an autonomous being. If Saturday works for me also, then that's when we'll see each other again. I may even chat with her about some other relationship (s) she has. I enjoy learning about other people and maybe I find out more about her and what she likes. For example, maybe she has a date with a dude who takes her skydiving. I've never been, so she can tell me all about it and open up my world and perspective a bit.

[t-8900]

Well if in a poly she's not really obligated to follow a set of rules. What if you found our she was sleeping with you and another guy and she told you the other guy didn't know? What would you do? Still have sex or tell her to make the situation right by telling her he has to know? Also would you do this with an engaged woman while the guy was ignorant?

[zeitgeist057]

@t-8900 honestly it's a relief sometimes because I don't want or need to be responsible for everything in a woman's life. Of course I want her to be happy and fulfilled but it's a relief not to have to fulfill all her needs and also she doesn't have to fill all my needs, either. If she hates the water for example, I can find some other friend or lover who wants to go surfing, sailing and scuba diving with me. I don't have to pressure Jenn into doing stuff she doesn't want to just because she's my "one and only" and if she doesn't want to do it then it doesn't happen.

[zeitgeist057]

As for if she's being dishonest with someone else, that's on her. I am often a mentor to my lovers, but I'm also careful not to be controlling or dictate to them what they have to do with their lives. If she was acting like you say and I knew about it, I would probably want to have a deeper conversation with her about why she wasn't being honest with this guy and the implications. First and foremost being what kind of relationship are you going to have if it's based on lies? I get being afraid of rejection, but if you pretend to be someone you're not, you're "stealing" approval and "love", but then that person is loving a lie rather than the real you, so it's just a bad idea. But I wouldn't break up with her or stop loving her for that, in fact I would probably point out how awesome it was that she was being honest with me, and how close and intimate and good it makes me feel to be trusted with something so real and scary as telling me she was being dishonest. How it was making our relationship stronger, and then if we apply that to this relationship with the other guy, how there is the potential there for coming clean and letting him make the choice if he wants to stay with her or leave. If he leaves, that's good because he was treated honestly and respectfully and given agency in the situation. If he stays, that's good because he was treated honestly and there is a foundation being built for trust even when the truth is hard and scary.

[t-8900]

Broooo no you don't sleep with an engaged or married woman. Idc what a person's background is or what the new cultural norms are. That's a morally wicked thing to do. And just think if that dude found out, found out you knew too... bro that's how dudes get shot in the face 👀 you're playing with fire in those scenarios.

[zeitgeist057]

@t-8900 having sex with a willing partner is not a criminal act, but shooting someone in the face is. I'm not going to be intimidated just because some guy thinks a woman is his property; in my country no one is allowed to own another person, and I think that's a good rule. I get how someone could be butt hurt about being rejected on a very deep level, and think they can perpetrate violence to bully others into doing what they want. It probably works on a lot of people, but not on me.

It's not up to me to impose my (or your) morality on anyone. I believe my standards are pretty straightforward: I only have sex when it is mutual consent between myself and another person. People that are not me or that person don't get to decide for us. Not her daddy, her boyfriend, husband, etc. None of those roles include the right to her body or control over her actions. That kind of thinking is also playing with fire, and leads to situations like a spouse filing charges of rape against her husband who overstepped the boundaries of the law.

[t-8900]

@zeitgeist057 No one is claiming anyone is property but oaths are made and you are contributing actively to those being broken. In Christianity for instance BOTH the spouses belong to each other. And if you dont like that idea simply dont get married. And if that's how she views marriage she had every way to avoid it but chose it. With your actions you contribute to being a homewrecker. That's the kinda dude you are if you just up and jump in bed like that. You should stop her and tell her to inform the guy before acting further on impulse. that's the difference. But its more important to get the dick wet then do what's right, I get it. Not everyone can step up to the plate. And being that something similar to this happened to my parents, which led to divorce and me having a miserable existence in my youth I have a healthy disdain for your type.

[zeitgeist057]

@t-8900 I'm not making or breaking any oaths, that's not on me. I see where you're coming from, and that's nice you can respect everyone else's deals they've made and allow yourself to be controlled by promises other people made that have nothing to do with you. I'm a little too protective of my autonomy to pussyfoot around everyone else's contracts like that. I also get that you have personal past trauma around this, which continues to affect you in the present. As for disdain, eh, well, you've got your narrative that seems very much hung up on sexual factors, as everything comes back to jumping in bed and getting dicks wet, etc. It looks to me as though you are very sex negative with all this talk of primal and base urges, banging and fucking, etc, etc, and get yourself worked up demeaning and degrading it all down to "meaningless sex". Which may be the only kind of sex you know, for all I know. It's not uncommon, unfortunately. Especially when people have such low opinions about engaging in it.

[t-8900]

@zeitgeist057 I have a HIGH opinion about sex... for dedicated MONOGAMOUS couples in a committed relationship. But that to me is when it has meaning. Lets not act like hook up culture isn't a thing and f*cking around isn't a thing. It might not be YOUR contract. But you can choose not to be the one she violates it with. Something similar happened to me, I had offers TWICE. And both times I told the boyfriend. WHY? Because he had the right to know and SHOULD know the type of person he was really dealing with.

This isn't about "owning" people, this is about keeping your word, as an adult, as a human being. I think guys like you messing with girls on the same page isn't a problem. I do when you opt to go for the groups of people NOT among that type. Simply because you help cause a lot of friction. At the end of the day if you aren't have sex with her are you keeping her around like that? And so you probably have your answer. This is not about being moralistic, it's about sex. You might do the other cutesy things but without that key component you are GONE.

And a lot of times these same men stick with these girls thinking and believing a lie. They break their backs for them and the supposed "love". How can you not see you are doing other's dirty with these deeds? Others have said in another post they did it and couldnt live with it and stopped, or never would do it. Have some empathy and put yourselves in the shoes of every single person you'd impact with such actions. I think that's the best thing you can do in that situation. There are PLENTY of women out there for you, no need to go after a wife like that.

[t-8900]

@zeitgeist057 I'm not the only one that suffered that trauma. That act directly impacted me and my sister. It took my sister into hard drugs and almost dying 3 times, it took me living a well off life to absolute poverty. That person slept with my mom for a little while... and then eventually left. Meanwhile I suffered through 17 years of shit. That's what people like you do. You RUIN LIVES for a little pleasure. That's not right, that's straight up evil.

[zeitgeist057]

@t-8900 sorry dude, I gotta stop here; I'm not down to address and correct all these assumptions about me and/or "people like me". I get what you're saying, and I'm sure there are plenty of people out there that fit your narrative, but nothing you're trying to pin on me fits my personal experiences or perspective. Where you're at and where I'm at are just so far apart, we're not even having the same conversation anymore.

[boltfox20]

An open relationship can be a very healthy one. Whether you consider it friends with benefits, fuck buddies, or a legitimate relationship with open opportunities, it can be very natural and healthy. It is good to be able to acknowledge ones own sexual limitations and allow their partner the opportunity to explore their own sexuality. When something cannot be obtained through their steady partner, it may be necessary to find another to satisfy that need. Maybe it only happens once, maybe you discover a long lasting relationship to add into your own. In either case, as long as the two original partners are okay with it, anything goes in a relationship.

TL;DR
You are consenting adults that enjoy having fun with other consenting adults. Regardless of labels, you are allowed to be yourself and have fun. :)

[Anonymous]

i'd rather have a friends with benefits than an open relationship. which means, if i have boyfriend then i have to quit friends with benefits.


and maybe some of those who support open relationships are bcs they can escape from boredom, which to me makes sense since i'm trying so hard how to last long with just one partner. but still, for me it's the wrong way if i want to escape by making an open relationship.


so i can't support this open relationship either.. but then again it depends on the person.


the last thing i could say is, good for you then if you were really happy about that 😊

[anon1903]

To update : This is the land of narrow minded, anti feminist people, what else would you expect?

Answer : I think it can be amazing if both of you are up for it. Of course, if time money and energy aren't issues either but I am sure you must have thought that through. Anyways, boundaries are important. Keep having fun.

[WhatTheHeckkkk]

Not my cup of tea, not my business😂

[MCheetah]

I think open relationships and polyamory is nothng but disgusting immaturity, committed by selfish sh*tty people too narcissitic and childish to admit they're incapable of working on themselves by being alone, but also incapable of just admitting they're whores/f*ckboys that like to sleep around.

So they come up with this bullsh*t term, thinking it shields them from judgement and ridicule from being selfish, narcissitic assholes who can't commit to a single person for an actual relationship, yet think they're "mature" enough to have what they refer to as an "open relationship" with other people.

No, they're just assholes. Petty immature assholes that can't commit to a single person, or self-improvement, or just being a slut, so they need to call it they're special little thing in order to make themselves feel like they're more capable of "adulting" than they really are.

As for "it's not hurting anyone?" It's hurting all parties involved, as well as people they bring into their little circle of patheticness, as well as genuine singles looking for love and having to deal with this f*cking sh*t among the unattached cheaters, part-time lesbians, trannies, and other deviants out there, as well. It cheapens actual romance for people still looking for it when they have these f*cking assholes out there, associating "singles" with their lifestyle.

So yeah, it does hurt other people. These people are just cheaters who think others should find adultery and infidelity "acceptable" for some reason. As if we all want to be cucks and cuckqueans like them. It's the most Millennial sh*t ever. (And no, pointing out ancient Greek orgies doesn't make you sound better, hypothetical person who'll try this; it makes you sound even more pathetic.)

[t-8900]

once people delve into this lifestyle they never get out usually. I can't imagine it. Personally another guy puts hands on my girl like that then likely my hands are getting put on him. But also I'd dump her dirty ass. I suppose if you're down for mystery babies in your marriage its great. I just dont know anyone who'd want that. I read this article about male weakness and insecurity causing them to agree to such things. Usually broken men tbh. I've even challenged some of the open cucks on this site asking them difficult questions. When I asked if they were to ask their wives tomorrow if they'd stop with other men because it was emotionally hurting them if they would. Some tried to dodge the question, others tried to make death threats. Its amazing this so called "fetish" doesn't seem to be that at all. Just weaklings without a will to hold down their fort. In a relationship you're either all in or you're not in a relationship, PERIOD. These other guys are basically just a prostitute's tag along posse that pick up her tabs for sex and somehow think they are valued lol... sad

[crazy8000]

Not my cup of tea.

It can work with some individuals. unfortunately some force their partner to get into that to not lose them instead of ending it because they are a mismatch and the one wanting it doesn't really love the other one in the same way.
You also have the scenario there one of them didn't notify other one it turned into one or that he/she wants one.

I can say this.
If someone wants an open relationship you have to question yourself if you want to drag out on that it most likely gonna end and you are just a convenience until he/she gonna find someone he/she gonna fall for and don't want to be with anyone else.
A lot of people tries to convince themselves it isn't that way by trying to convince others.

If both of you really feel the same way go with it.
It can be a great thing, both of you can sleep around without hurting each other, even get convenience of safety of someone at home that are ok with it and that it isn't anything different to shopping or taking a walk.
Just be sure the other one really can handle it and that you can handle it.
An other thing is.
Both of you must set up rules what is okay and isn't to make it work.

[EroticArab]

To update: Looking through the replies, it's interesting that the hate you got is from men. I didn't see any hate in women's answers (including the ones who say it's not for them).

Personally, I believe we are a non-monogamous species by nature. Even the monogamous norm has become non-monogamous, like @zeitgeist057 said in his answers to the comment. Most people who are monogamous are monogamous for a while, until they move on to another relationship. As such, open relationships seem to be the most aligned with our nature within our society.

My advice is not to get too stuck on labels. As long as everything is taking place within consensual boundaries, live your life the way that works for you and have fun.

[Lorewolf447]

If an open relationship is what you and your partner want I say that is your decision. People get too hung up on the way they see life as it should be and fail to realize there are all walks of life in this world and what works for one group of people doesn't necessarily work for everyone.

As for me, I've played with the idea in my head a few times. Every time however it becomes too much of a tangled web of conflicting emotions and opinion for me to see myself doing.

So I have no problem with people practicing open relationships. It may not be for me but I respect it non the less.

[Novacane]

All power to you for knowing what you want and nothing but support to you, as I say to everyone just be safe and be careful (which I am sure you are)

As for me, I don't think I can see myself in an open relationship because at that point why even be in that relationship. Knowing how my mind works I will instantly start thinking that they like the other guy more than they like me. I also know that for women it is much easier to find other guys that would be okay with the situation vs men finding women who are open to that so I already know she will have options while I may not, so at that point, I will just feel like I am being used. I am the type to focus on one person and give them my attention and explore different things within sex with them as well, so I would ideally want someone who is open to being explorative as well but if I am in a "relationship" I would want the complete attention I am giving them right back.

[Vegasrunner]

I was in an open relationship for almost 10 years. The first 7 or 8 years where fabulous. The last two were kind of weird, I think she reached a point where she wanted more from me. Typically in open relationships it's the guys who become jelous because they can't stand the thought of someone else being with "their" woman. For the most part though as long as you have two emotionally stable people open relationships are a lot of fun, in my opinion you catch so much hate because misery loves company and people want you to go through the same things they think they have to go through in a traditional relationship.

[Halibut]

I can't comment the emotional ramifications... but as an aromantic... if this stuff's getting more popular it sounds like a dream come true to me. I don't even date because everybody seems interested in nothing but monogamy. I don't want a monogamous relationship. At, most, I'd want to kind of explore and experiment in dating. If this is a rising trend... to me it sounds like people may not be as alien-seeming as I once thought they were. I might actually consider dating. I've never really understood why people would just want to date one person at a time. Wouldn't it be better to just play the field for awhile to see what's out there? I could also imagine some never wanting to have strict monogamy for various reasons. I always imagined there were just major emotional differences between myself and most people and that was the explanation.

[FTnWo]

I don't think running around and being banged by a different dude all of the time is going to help you a whole lot with self love... but I don't know.
Myself I wouldn't want to because I like to have a special bond with my partner and if I'm sharing that with everyone it just doesn't seem very special... it actually seems kind of shallow.
I bet that your partner wouldn't do or make certain sacrifices for you that one that only desired you would, the person that only wants you would go to hell and back for you but the one in the open relationship would probably get distracted by strange and let you down or the other way around but I don't know I'm no expert.

[silvermoon84]

I’m sorry you’re getting so much hate. You do you, I don’t have any issue with them. With that being said however, it’s not a relationship that I would engage in only because of the way that I am. I don’t have sex with men that I’m not in a relationship with. Also, I get jealous easily so there is that as well if he sleeps with other women.

[Anonymous]

I didn't know sex was a "need" like that. I've been dry for 6 years and haven't self destructed. On the contrary it built a lot of mental discipline. Randoms are nasty. And if/when you end up pregnant you've got a huge dilemma on your hands. Someone who doesn't honestly care about you like that won't care if they give you a nasty STD either. You're meat to them, nothing more. And if you want to act like that then you'll also get treated like that. There are consequences to people's actions. "working on self love" this is laughable. You dont do that by getting plowed. What part of "self" isn't clear? People didn't used to all of the sudden "need" sex so frequently. It's what you WANT, not need. You've been programmed to fixate on sex because of current culture. doesn't make it the best path to take and it doesn't mean you have to follow current trends.

[Screenwriter]

Sounds to me like you're just dating multiple people. At 21 this seems pretty normal. Sounds like you like one guy better than most of the others, but you're keeping options open.

Nothing wrong with that.

[hahahmm]

"I am able to focus on my self and keep exploring at the same time" -- This is exactly one of the reasons why I'm not interested in open relationships. For a person to be valuable in a relationship they must be a team player. Casual relationships are for people who are too self-centered to find or maintain serious relationships.

[Adam1978]

It's not a relationship if it's open, it's just fuck buddies and roommates. It's a low value product that you don't want. It's not the end goal for anyone that wants something serious so you better skip it. It simply can't work in today's society and legal framework. No one will be happy in those relationships in the long run.

[NetSapien]

It's fine as long as no one is getting hurt. I'm 'kinda' in one myself sort of.

It's more often than not a powder keg ready to be ignited though and it isn't a compatible lifestyle for more serious relationships.

I could never be in any type of relationship where "but we dont talk about it when we are together" plays an active part though. Seems like a 'friends with benefits' type arrangement.

[D_Bone_Steak]

Just call it friends with benefits because that's what it most likely is. Open relationships though seem to have focus on not much more than the sexual. So called committed relationships that turn into open is a sure sign that at least one of the parties involved just wants more sex. Enjoy riding the CC.

[Heartache0405]

Strongly oppose.


Someone is going to get jealous.
Someone is going to recieve more love and affection than the other.
No one will truly feel special if all relationships were open.
Open relationships also keep those who are single and looking from meeting anyone.


Another reason why I don't date anymore and I'm truly honestly happy being single in this fucked up day and age

[KrisPW]

If everything is in the open, and agreements are in place that this is how you want your relationship to be, then go for it. I think there is only harm in the lying or cheating without your partner's consent.

[Baredog69]

The whole open relationship thing is confusing to be. What is the point of calling something a relationship if you're going to continue dating or whatever you're going to do. You're single you just see this one guy girl more than you do the others. Open relationship is not a relationship at all.

[badfurday2020]

I disagree I'm in two relationships not just one.

[loveslongnails]

Funny how you refer to being in a "real relationship" (with this person?) . It seems that you're saying "well, there's open relationships, and there are 'real' relationships" ? Is that correct? And if yes, than you don't see yourself being in a non-open relationship with this "particular" person. Sounds like you just have an friends with benefits thing going with this guy and not even an open relationship. Sounds like it's convenient and non taxing.

[Ninani]

For me an open relationship is a "real" relationship. What you describe sounds more like a friend with benefits.

[koolbrz]

"To update : This is the land of narrow minded, anti feminist people, what else would you expect?

Answer : I think it can be amazing if both of you are up for it. Of course, if time money and energy aren't issues either but I am sure you must have thought that through. Anyways, boundaries are important. Keep having fun."



Indian female wet dreams

[MrKinktastic]

I’m in a poly relationship which has some crossover but is a bit different. I love it and could never go back.


People shitting on you are just jealous.

[badfurday2020]

I plan on trying one soon

[MrKinktastic]

Make sure you work on your communication, it makes or breaks these dynamics

[badfurday2020]

I'm pretty decent at communication but I tend to date very stubborn people

[RobT312]

If it works for you, then great! It has never worked with me and have pretty much had only one girlfriend at a time. No desire for it to be open. I have had a 3some though, I guess that was the sexual freedom!

[menina]

I don't understand them. It's not something that I want for myself but if it works for you, then enjoy it! 😉😊

[krin_m]

I'm in two poly relationships. We are in committed relationships, so not exactly open.
Personally I think, for consenting adults, what ever works for them without hurting anyone. If you are happy with them, more power to you!
As with any relationship, I'm sure you have your complications and ups and downs but it is totally your call and no body else's business. Enjoy your relationships and don't listen to the haters is all I have to say!

[kenz000]

I would never do it but if you guys are happy with it then go for it!

[Phoenix98]

An "open relationship" is not a relationship of any kind.

It's just an excuse to fuck around with other people, that's all it is.

[MCheetah]

Exactly. It's what manchildren and womenchildren do, as an excuse to cheat on each other.

[Phoenix98]

@MCheetah To cheat without cheating pretty much.

[t-8900]

Would you like a side of Chlamydia and another man's child with that order of romance?

[Phoenix98]

@t-8900 I'm good.

[t-8900]

lol awww but they're the gifts that keep on giving bro xD

[Phoenix98]

@t-8900 That's exactly why lol.

[Yourfriend2021]

You can have fun until you want to be loved, then you will understand. I wouldn't have an open relationship, it's not really a relationship, just sex buddies.

[Shizunk]

I would not allow that, have no desire for it and I think its a bad idea if long term stability is your goal.

[Miristheiss]

Me... do it?
No.
Just reading about your lifestyle makes me feel gross.

[jshm2]

Yeah well that will last until you get pregnant, or injured and be another single mom or a feckless deadbeat partner.

[t-8900]

they dont think that far ahead...

[Ceslovas]

So insightful. Now it makes sense why there is so many single Women with kids on dating apps...

[anon1903]

Those things can happen in monogamous relationship too. Who's to say the guy won't run away?

Advantage of a group relationship is your other partner can support you. Cuz accidents happen. Abortion is not murder.

You guys need to widen your perspective.

[cookiecrusher]

A lot of guys will sleep with but not care for/marry etc loose women

[anon1903]

Pigs

[cookiecrusher]

Pigs for not wanting a slutty woman?

[Ceslovas]

Widen perspective has nothing to do with law of how nature works, brother. Try to change perspective about electricity and touch power lines with naKed hands. You can fool yourself saying abortion is not murden., but you not open to the truth around you. If you were open to it, you already knew by now-what is abortion is and how does it effect woman in general... and your future kids if u still decide to have kids with a same woman.

[Prettygurl12]

I'm not interested in open relationships. My marriage is very much closed lol

[AmeerX]

Open relationship is different. I think polyamory is different from open swinger lifestyle.
I do find polyamory much more acceptable as there are some rules and restrictions compared to complete swinger lifestyle

[cookiecrusher]

Not my thing and women should really consider how it will affect their future marriage prospects.

The "fun" period does come with a price.
If you are okay with that, have your fun.

[OddBeMe]

Are they really relationships? What’s the attributes? Having dinner, living together? Really monogamy is the only true way to prove a relationship exists.

[RebeccaBI2000]

That would be really hard. Usually someone will get jealous

[Bdsmaster]

Open relationship are good for some people but I would never choose it for myself luv, I don't do relationships whether open or exclusive, I prefer staying single and enjoying that way, but if you find it working for yourself then that's great luv.

[bamesjond0069]

Open for a man to see other women alone or with his girlfriend... yes this is ok. And i have done this before.

Open for a man to see other men... bad.
Open for a girl to see other men... bad.

[ChiPaPa]

I think they're disgusting and would break up with someone for even suggesting such a thing, but you do you.

[LegendaryIcon]

i think they're fucked up

that only porno stars and porn amatuers do them, to claim they're "allowed to fuck people" but still be in a relationship

GROW UP

[bodiesands]

All good until kids are involved I imagine.
Until you want those, probably fine.

[bodiesands]

Actually, I should add:

I once knew a 'poly' guy, and he was quite happy with the whole situation. One main partner, one side partner, and hookups from tinder etc. I sat with him and discussed the whole thing, with the side partner there talking too, and everything seemed fine (apart from his slightly alarming enthusiasm for sadism, though she said she liked it, so... OK.).

EXCEPT that when the side partner drove me to the station, she told me she had not been honest in response to my questions, and that secretly she did wish she had him all to herself. That the arrangement wasn't a bed of roses after all, but that she didn't see exclusivity ever happening, so she felt like her only option to be with him was like this.

Basically, that I was right in my assumptions and questions about jealousy and heartbreak etc. And that I should not do this to people myself, thinking they'd be fine with it, when really they would not.

[Wester1967]

An invitation to misery and STDs. I don't participate and walk the minute it comes up

[Danny_dan92]

If it’s a girl in it, I think she loves dick too much to have only one.


And if it’s a guy he loves pussy too much to only have one

[TonyMetal___86]

Not even in dreams, i'll be loyal to the person that i love and marriage means one man and one woman united together under the blessing of god...

[najekim]

Not for everyone. We're in the Lifestyle but we don't have an open marriage except for when the wife goes out with her girlfriends on a girl's only night out.

[collie22]

i can't get my head around ever being in an open relationship

[exitseven]

If it works for everyone then , great. I think most of the time somebody always gets the shaft.

[Wise4myage]

Definitely not my thing, but that's cool if it works for you.

[Anonymous]

Being honest I think an open relationship would be the only way I could be happy in a relationship but I've been with my girlfriend too long now to break up with her over something like this and she would never go for it

[uncutfun]

Ya, it's cool... but don't put your heart and soul... end the end, there's 1 winner and 2 fools... remember it's about u

[banshee_cx]

It’s not for me but there is nothing wrong with it. Who cares how other people live their relationship

[Luopio27]

As long as all sides involved know exactly what they are in for, who are we or anyone to take all your freedoms away!

[Soleil8000]

Bullshit. Only happens when it is half interest, like amongst communists

[Cowboy6666]

Open to that idea since I wanna try FFFMFF, FFMFF, FMF, FFMF someday

[bodiesands]

Haha who doesn't. Not sure how likely that is to happen though...

[Ceslovas]

Serving mostly the ones that isn't loyal at their core (heart)..

[badfurday2020]

It can be healthy I plan on doing a poly relationship whole working on myself since I don't truest people anymore.

[bodiesands]

Probably better to work on the trust thing first...

[badfurday2020]

not really nothing wrong with being careful around people when dating or not being blinded by love. You gotta pay attention to red flags period

[bodiesands]

Yeah, ok, there may be nuance involved.

Just don't start the date, poly or otherwise, by declaring that 'I don't trust people anymore' haha.

Even if it works, they'll be the wrong type of person haha...

[Slim57]

Not a relationship and never will be considered as. Just do the world a favor and stay single and do that shit. It's the same.

[tatianamay]

Not my thing at all. Im too monogamous for it

[Anonymous]

I think if you're going to be in an open relationship there's no point in being in a relationship at all.

[boltfox20]

The point, in most cases, is having someone that you love, but acknowledging that you need more to satisfy yourself or your partner. It can be sexual, as described above, or it can be emotional. In either case, the additional relationships fill in a gap, satisfying a need that your partner agrees they are unable to fulfill.

The two still want to be together, they are just open and honest about their own limitations. In my opinion, an open relationship that withstands the test of time is, by far, the strongest relationship anyone could possibly have.

[Opinion Owner]

@boltfox20 I see the points you're making. But b I still disagree. Sorry.