What do you think about open relationships?

[Anonymous]

I don't mean friends with benefits or fuck buddies or any sort of hookup thing, I'm talking about a real, committed relationship/marriage, but open. That means that both of you are free to be intimate with other people.

I have a friend who is in an open marriage and she couldn't be happier. She says it all started as normal dating until he told her that he can't be monogamous and asked her to be open. They talked a lot about it, and in the end she gave it a shot, with few rules. I know this dude was madly in love with her, but I also knew he has promiscuous personality, and it was hard for us to trust him, we all told her to dump him. They've been together for 12 years now and with 2 kids. She says she knows he sleeps with other women on his work trips (he photographs models) and with women he sometimes meets randomly, but that she never felt anything missing when it comes to her needs. She says he is a wonderful father and husband, that they have sex often and it's great, that he is still very romantic and thoughtful (he brings her flowers EVERY MORNING lol). He tells her she's sexy and beautiful every day. And that he loves her. She says that there's just nothing to be jealous about because those girls only get one little tiny part of him for a very short time, while she gets all of it forever. I asked her if she does it too then, with other guys, and she said that it happened few times that she made out with someone, but not sex. That she doesn't have a need.

[kyleelyn199723]

Just my personal opinion , you can’t call something a committed relationship/marriage when it’s not. When you are free to have sex/affairs with other people, that is NOT a commitment to one person. Commitment means loyalty to one thing or in this case person. Not sure why this generation creates oxymorons with many things. Open relationship = zero commitment

[Asker]

I disagree. What commitment means to me is being committed to BEING with me. To be my partner and fulfill all my needs. To sexually please me on a regular basis, to be there for me, to live with me and share life with me, to be my rock and my support. To be my best friend and to be good parent. Hell, if I had all that, if I wasn't missing anything, I'd gladly go open.

[kyleelyn199723]

@asker so why would you need to go to other people for your sexual needs , have someone else be there for you and support you if you have someone already doing that? That doesn’t make any logical sense and your idea of the word committed sounds one sided. Sounds like you want someone to do that for you, but you have this idea where you don’t need to give LOYALTY in return. To each it’s own

[kyleelyn199723]

@asker I can’t relate to having a man that doesn’t fulfill my every needs, my ONE and only man does absolute justice for me

[Asker]

Loyalty to me has nothing to do with intimacy. Being faithful and being loyal is not the same thing. Monogamy is not a proof of love to me. I guess I value other things more.

[kyleelyn199723]

@asker being committed to one person out of others in the world is exactly what romantic love is. Being faithful and being loyal is exactly the same thing. You taking time out of something or a relationship that can be perfected is not being loyal/faithful.

[kyleelyn199723]

In my personal opinion, if you would rather go meet other people that fulfill your needs than communicate to your one partner your needs and desires in a relationship, then you aren’t committed. You are only committed to what that person provides for you. It’s very one sided and to me it just doesn’t sound like love

[Asker]

And about not having the need to "full around" with someone else, that's just bullshit. Imagine a really good looking dude who is in a relationship, and he gets hit on by a very hot girl that wants a one night stand with him. Do you honestly believe he wouldn't be tempted? Of course he would. Or imagine a woman in a relationship going on a vacation with her friends to Cuba and some really hot dude is flirting with her, do you think she wouldn't like it? Of course she would. The only reason neither of them would do anything is not because they don't want to but because they don't want to cheat. But if they were single they would do it. The point of open relationship is to remove that invisible rule and barrier, to let people be free. I don't see anything wrong with it as long as it doesn't change anything in our relationship, it's like tasting a new meal; doesn't mean you will stop liking your usual meals. And if you really believe that faithfulness comes from desire to be faithful, then even if you're open there won't be seeing other people anyway (because none of you will want to, right). When you really think about, the ones who want full around will full around eventually, being in standard relationship doesn't guarantee anything. Most guys who end up cheating give themselves away and change because of the guilt, but if there was no guilt really nothing would change. Most guys would do it and completely forget about it the next day, to most of them that kind fooling around wouldn't mean a thing. It's the other party who makes the big deal out of it... and I assume it's because of jealousy and insecurity.

[kyleelyn199723]

I am in a relationship where my man is sexy and he gets hit on a lot and he still holds morals where when he is with me, he is only about me and that’s it. He doesn’t believe in being unloyal and unfaithful. “Most guys” is this why would friend settled for this lifestyle? Because she believes most attractive guys can’t just be entirely happy with one woman in their life? I don’t envy your friend at all. Your friend would envy the fact that I have a hot man that, that cares about me enough to stay loyal, faithful , and all about me. 🤷🏻‍♀️

[kyleelyn199723]

My profile pic is proof that two sexy people can come together and make one sexy faithful Monogamous relationship ☺️ your friend chose to settle for an unfaithful man. I’m sure deep down inside she feels uneasy , jealous and heart broken that her relationship couldn’t have been only them two.

[Asker]

Yes because he cares about you and he respects you wishes and standards that you set for relationship. If you gave him a green light to fool around with others, and he gets an opportunity, I bet he would. Just ask him if he would do it with some of those girls if he was single. Or ask him if he'd like to do a threesome with another girl, I doubt he'd say no. And I bet he still jerks off on porn and gets aroused when seeing a hot woman.
by the way I'm not saying all man can't be fully happy with one woman, I know some can and would pass any opportunity to be with someone else simply because they don't want to. But I believe most of them don't want to because they don't want the guilt, they don't want to hurt their partner and lose them, and they don't want to betray them. Which completely valid and I respect that. But that doesn't mean they are moral, it just means they are committed to rules.

[kyleelyn199723]

@asker nope my man wouldn’t do it at green light because that is his morals. He has a huge issue with relationships in general because people in this generation have such a warped sense of what loyalty is. He has all the room to cheat if he wanted to, but he doesn’t because of his morals. I know it’s hard to believe that there’s hot men out here with actual morals. Before me, he didn’t sleep with another woman since a year and half before me because of his overall morals.

[EmmaMary]

Personally it does absolutely nothing at all for me, and I do mean Nothing
And just add @kyleelyn199723 sums this subject up totally.

[Asker]

So you are saying that you wouldn't value at all that someone is 100% giving you everything that you need, on the cost that they sometimes have side hookups? Why is that, is it because of jealousy?

[EmmaMary]

Let me put in the most simplest of words... I am 100% a One Man Woman, my husband being a 100% One Woman Man.

Jealousy simply doesn't even remotely enter the equation.

[kyleelyn199723]

@asker I think you are just jealous that people have found one person that provides them what you go looking for in multiple people.

[EmmaMary]

Thank you for the MHGirl.

[andy530]

I think they can be healthy and helpful to each person involved but like any relationship they take a lot of work

[BarryLiverstone]

For me trust is important and that’s challenging to trust

[Asker]

But what is there not to trust if both of their needs are fulfilled? You wouldn't trust that they love you?

[BarryLiverstone]

I only need one person to meet my needs. Then I can trust them fully. If I try to do things with someone else that’s not allowing the two of us to trust each other. It says that my SO can’t fully meet my needs. Plus when I am with them my SO doesn’t know for sure what we are doing.

[Asker]

Well you trust your best friend or your family and you don't have sex with them, right? Why sex has anything to do with trust?

[BarryLiverstone]

Because Sex is an intimate act. Often times sex can bring on feelings and emotions. Also if someone outside of the relationship is better at Sex or is more desirable that means the partner doesn’t feel special or the go to. I mean if you had a boyfriend and when you wanted sex he said no wouldn’t that feel bad?

[BarryLiverstone]

Sex has to do with trust because people lie and if someone did have Sex and started to like someone else they may not tell their partner

[LegendaryIcon]

i think they're fake, and pathetic.

for people with no lives