Can you be racist and married to a black woman?

[Anonymous]

I’m grew up in a small redneck town. I was raised by my grandparents who were extremely racist. As I grew older I started to understand them more. From personal experience I realized that majority of blacks are low lives. I know very few of them are good, but the most of them are lazy, no ambition, and have no desire to do better for themselves. Most of them are subhuman.

I was borderline kkk before I met by black wife Christine 2 years ago. It started off as a black girl fetish friends with benefits, then we fell in love and became a couple. Then it lead to marriage the next year. Christine is the love of my life. If anyone said something racist to her I’d have no problem breaking their nose and going to jail. But I still hate most black people. Christine doesn’t know how I feel. And I plan on never telling her for the sake of our marriage.

Yes

No

[MCheetah]

If you hate a race, or any group of people, merely for existing and not personal things they have done to you, then yes, that makes you a bigot. And even IF a group of black people beat you up, killed your dog John Wick style, and burned down your house, that still isn't the fault of "all black people."

Also, if you're going to judge people, then you should at least hold yourself up to the same standards, which I seriously doubt a person who is stupid enough to be aware of their faulty logic, but still unwilling to change it, is going to do. Like, if you ONLY ever met bad black people, and never even seen a decent one before, then your prejudice would have more justification. But you pretty much prove yourself wrong here, making you contradictory, but unwilling to acknowledge that.

"Most of them are lazy, no ambition, and have no desire to do better for themselves."
Honestly, that sounds like humanity, in general. Anyone who describes themselves as "average." And based on your own words, I guarantee this applies to you, as well.

Don't worry, though. I don't hate you or have any ill will towards you. I'd have to care first to hate someone.

[Nomoturtle]

"Most of them are lazy, no ambition, and have no desire to do better for themselves."
I've got a Tanzanian friend who said exactly this of his own country. He attributed it to the difference in culture between our nations rather than to race, which I think is correct, but you can see how one could instead assume a genetic link.

There are also several "hate facts" that are deemed racist by their very existence of supporting a racist worldview, even if they can be explained by other phenomena than race.

Racism indeed colloquially arises from personal experiences that are extended to a race of people. That's a fallacy you wouldn't get away with in data analysis, but it's still more likely than not to be right, and regardless at some point you have to accept some confidence in your samples.
However, there are other reasons to adopt a racist worldview and facts that can be used to support it. There has been hardly any discussion whatsoever regarding this; no counterarguments to be heard, just disavowals, and moreover, the progressives seem to agree with it from the position of some sort of white saviour. So I would expect people to have malformed ideas of race at this point, and develop potentially false racist views (in the old ideological sense), if they aren't going to be substantially challenged by anything other than conformity.

[MCheetah]

@Nomoturtle
There are also several "hate facts" that are deemed racist by their very existence of supporting a racist worldview, even if they can be explained by other phenomena than race.

The alt-right tried that a few years ago. Like 2015-2016, I think. "Race realism." Basically trying to use pseudo-science like "blacks have lower IQ's" and "most of Africa is impoverished" and whatnot to "scientifically" prove white people are "superior." I shot down their most of their arguments with two simple words: Environmental determinism.

Basically, people who developed from temperate climates such as Europe, had the biggest advantage and headstart in building civilization because they had more abundant resources, water, and food, with a few exceptions like Egypt. The hottest places on Earth were, and still are, the least abundant for life, thus water and food is scarce there even today, hence why "Africans and South Americans" aren't as developed as Europeans. Most of this can apply to any form of racism.

Yes, as human beings, we do have emotional sides to us, and biases, that govern our behavior. (For example, I have a strong disgust towards bisexual women and would never, under any circumstances, be with one, due to my first girlfriend breaking my heart by revealing she was one, as well as me having partial fear and paranoia that bisexual women can't be trusted and can never be fully faithful towards men.)

[MCheetah]

However, the thing is, trying to work ourselves to (if not break these insecurities, then at least) understand where our emotional responses come from, and if they can be changed. That's why I said OP *could* break his thoughts, since he married a black woman, thereby proving his own racism fallible and inaccurate, but chooses to stick in his old ways and be willfully ignorant. I'm always looking for ways to change my perspective towards people I have an aversion to. I just haven't met too many that challenges what I believe is true, to be inaccurate... Yet. There's still time.

[lightbulb27]

yes, my father both had great admiration and love (platonic) for a black man, and despised the rest. Why? Character!

Looking at color is an easy way to group together people and causes all sorts problems. look beyond the color, it isn't black that's the issue... it's character, values, discipline, integrity. That is built in family, culture, training. Get to know some people, you will look past that simple attribute and really appreciate them. Others, you may despise because of how pathetic they are and don't realize it.

A lot of what you don't like... is wounds of the past, poor parenting... a destroyed peoples by being oppressed, culture uprooted. Their ancestors lost everything. Other cultures got torn up over the centuries as well... Korean women, poland, Italians. Read Chinese history lately? yep... Some recovered better than others, so many African Americans were damaged and culture damaged, you don't like what someone else traumatized over centuries. It's not all, it's some. Try to have some compassion but as well, realize you can't change someone else when they don't want to.

[readyplayer001]

you dont have to be your grandparents, you have the chance to change that. their thinking is theirs you are an adult and you can't stay brainwashed forever. clearly you chose a beautiful black woman to marry so you can change your thought process. do it before you all have kids. there are a holes in every race. if you even have kids, what are you going to do to them? i mean they will be mixed. excuses- if you wanna change you would, if your wife means that much open and honest is always the best policy.

[Aerissa_Jade]

Are you racist or just have a problem with the culture? Meaning you don't have an issue with skin color but you have a problem with different cultural and how they act and do things?

The two are very closely tied together but not always. I am not white, but people often think I am because my family assimilated before I was born so this is how I was raised. We still celebrate our heritage though and various culture specific holidays.

[Anonymous]

I think there's god hand in my story. I was little bit racist inside but as a religious Muslim it kept my actions under control I never said negga or something disrespectful to any race especially black people. Anyway it was holy month to us and I used to save cats as I have much knowledge in veterinary medicine I saved dying cats from various disease liver problems and lung infection mainly. Anyway I was walking around 9 pm and I heard a cat was kinda crying it was dark and I couldn't recognize him he was full black I asked the mall guard if he has mother he said no he's here since morning I took him home and he was so hungry with time I noticed how much his behavior is loyal and how smart he was I had so many cats but he was the smartest and the most quiet one and kind to other cats I really miss him I was in home for 6 months but then there was another female cat which was taking him here n there and one day he went out with her and didn't back for long Time I saw him accidentally after about 3 months he was fully grown and looked fine. I miss how loyal he was and never broked anything and to me color doesn't make you better person it's your morals and ethics and how good are you as person.

Kinda long story I know I had to share it

[Nomoturtle]

These days racism has been distorted to: bad things that happen to a minority. I guess the term needed to expand after the people it applied to shrunk; the political "vampire economy".

Using the old and far more useful definition of a race-oriented view of people, yes of course, and by your example too.

Ironically, now that "progress" has become all about "raising racial consciousness", we're gone full circle to creating global racist narratives, some of them as absurd as those that came before; the death of a mediocre ideology rescued from the brink.

[Hal2002]

My father is an example of this, he was raised and worked with black and other none whites all his life. He has only dated black women, and married 2.

Yet he will run down black and other none whites as lazy, and not intelligent enough to run businesses or run for government office. Yet he socializes with many successful blacks and none whites, that run their own businesses and hold political posts. He has worked for many black and none white employers, so how he can say some of the things he does make me shake my head at times.

[Stoner710]

Sure are you gonna be racist to why do you are you gonna be racist to Asians, Obviously you’re not racist to black people because you’re married to a black woman.

of course I think joy Reid is the biggest racist on TV nowadays what is bullshit about white tears if anyone said anything about black tears they’d be called racist and rightfully so why are we just stop using race as an excuse like seriously unless there’s actual evidence of racism let’s stop using it. You do understand that the media is trying to cause a race war right they’re trying to get black people to hate whites and you’re trying to get white people to hate blacks the true racist are liberals

[Wester1967]

Oh hell yeah. If you think you get a pass on being a jack arse a hole because of the melanin content of your partner, you're on major arse crack Uncle Charlie White Supremo-cist ideological drugs. And it's gross. The "one black friend" rule that white people worship doesn't get you out of your backwards arse butt ignorant racism. Plenty of IR couples practice "back to the plantation" in a million different ways. Conscious and unconscious. See Frantz Fanon, Black Skin, White Masks. Listen to David Carroll on youtube. Go see the movie Goodbye Uncle Tom. Read "They Were Her Property" Book by Stephanie Jones-Rogers. With my ex wife, it was always about power and having control and ability to dictate circumstances. She was one of the most racist MFs I ever met.

[Anonymous]

Hmm... hard question. I honestly do not know. I feel like if you are married to a black woman, you aren't racist. However, you do have pre-conceived notions based on the color of someone's skin, which makes you something. Maybe you should try to get to know some more black people, in a really heart-to-heart way, like you did your wife. All the ones I know are hard-working, wonderful people. Perhaps you have just not met the right people yet? It's the same with white people though. Come to my area and talk to some of the whites. You may re-think your ideas of white people, in a not so positive way.

[t-8900]

Ummm she proved to you and that skin color doesn't define us. She proved to you that love is color blind. She broke the barriers around your heart and claimed it. But you can't see the humanity in other PoC? Spend more time around them, share in everyday conversation and struggle and from that it will propel you to a higher state of being. This race sh*t has got to go. I'm tired of all the sh*t people get for their outward appearance. Seek Jesus, there's a good start.

[Hellothere543212]

I think racism has many different faces. It is not just shouting a racial slang at them or hate crimes. Racism can simply be having a preconceived notion about them based on their race. Essentially prejudice.

You are in a very difficult position there. It would be hard for her to know you essentially have dislike for her heritage and race. Maybe you need to look at the things you love about her and try to understand that these things will exist in these people too.

[normalice]

Anyone can be a racist. But its important to remember that most people are not. Indeed, the misinformation and fake victimhood about racists has gotten to the point where if you call a racist a racist, any non racists who witnesses it is more likely to act like a racist just out of spite.

[Massageman]

There are winners and losers in every size, shape, degree of melanin, sex, occupation, etc. We each are entitled to an opinion. Just be careful of how and when you express that opinion. You got someone you feel is a winner. Rejoice about that, and just maybe avoid the ones you feel are losers?

[dustybiker]

It is saddening to think you are living that way. How do you think your wife would act if you were completely honest with her?

[MountAverage]

Yes, very obviously. It's the old "I'm not racist, I have friends who are black" trope. There's also a lot of misogynists married to women. It means shit. Whether you're racist/sexist/whatever or not is about what you believe aboout a race/gender/whatever as a whole, not about what your relationship with indivuduals of these groups are.

[BlckGrl]

So we're lowlives and subhumans but you would bend a girl like me over for your fetish? The funniest part is most white guys like you actually like being the sub.. ig you're sub human lol. Anyways you're definitely racist

[Hulk30]

as fucked up as it is i could definitely see why he would bend ya over as sick as it is ya definitely not a frog and i get ya points

[BeMuse]

Most racism is exhibited is by the Black community, and while Black marriage rates are very low, the racism presented by the Black community is so high that it’s still the most common arrangement.

[BeMuse]

[Aurora1010]

Yes, that's crazy. I could never be with a man that thought low about my nation/nationality for example.

[Avicenna]

I've seen this sort of thing, but it was a couple of black men with white wives. I didn't understand it.

[Avicenna]

I think you should get counseling for this because it could ruin your marriage if she finds out

[Dchrls78104]

The last racist white guy I heard of who got with a non white woman was named Donald Sterling, if I remember it correctly. He lost his ownership of the LA Clippers after he ignited controversy by telling his mistress racist things about black people.

[doopayo]

I hope your girlfriend/wife whatever runs far away. You’re bad news

[Anonymous]

Of course you can. Black guys can marry black women and be racist.

Or did your question imply only white people can be racist?

Because THAT is racist

[ChrisMaster69]

Yes very much so, by this question.

it shows a lack of awareness of racism.

[pink_and_inlove]

I feel like you haven’t met Africans yet? They’re very very hardworking and admirable people. Just keep in mind that not everyone’s the same.

[TheSpaceGnome]

Thats fucked up dude, don't carpet blame races for an individual's doing. Your wife's existence is proof you were wrong, just accept it.

[BrosephBrostar]

I love the implication that only black people experience racism. That really makes me think that this question was asked in good faith.

[funtime_01]

Wouldn't know. It would have had to have slipped out at some point before marriage though?

[Flower7]

How do you feel about your wife’s family? Do you dislike them because they’re black?

[JesseJayNeak]

Yes, you can. For example, there's the mayor of Chicago, Don Lemon, Ilhan Omar (she's married with her brother but she's also married with a white man which is illegal) and Vice President Kamala Harris

[Subarugirl]

Absolutely, just like you can be misogynistic and still be married to a woman.

[shades777]

I just dont like when people try to rub in your face like they accomplished something. Its 2021 interracial dating isn't taboo its normal

[Pete671]

Sounds to me like you not actually racist, there are many of any skin colour who are low people, your wife is very beautiful,

[hi_it_is_me123]

Yes. Self-hatred is the reason why any person would marry a racist.

[hi_it_is_me123]

Wait i did not read the whole post. I am confused and dont what to say

[hi_it_is_me123]

Dont know***

[hi_it_is_me123]

By the way nazis treat black people better than americans in the past. It is kinda funny to me when so called nazis hate muslims, blacks etc from today although hitler made compliments for muslims/islam etc

[hi_it_is_me123]

Treated*

[notwoke]

a lot of blacks feel the same way about other blacks. Might she be one of them? Surely she's picked up on your feelings even if you keep it quiet

[OddBeMe]

He’s, you can always hold opinions about an entire race that are bullshit. No matter how liberal you are.

[Anonymous]

I like black people. My best friend in grade school was black , but things have changed and they seem to hate white people just because they are white. Then i saw the riots and cities burning and now I don't have a favorable view anymore.

[CantGetItUp]

I understand your thoughts on American blacks. I feel the same about a lot of them. Just don’t think that way about all of them. A true racist is blind and hates all of one ethnic group.

[MJtheCoach]

Everyone’s a little racist some people vocalize it some people hide it

[noohair]

I try to judge people one at a time, stereotyping is never a good thing.

[Anonymous]

There are plenty of black men who are racist that are married to black women.

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

I voted no, but you are clearly from suffering cognitive dissonance.

[Anonymous]

Sure it's called "your one of the good ones"

[scooogy]

You can also be gay and married to a woman 🤷‍♂️

[shaysh87]

haha fucking troll.

[Lyndsielee666]

I’m sorry… subhuman?

[Joeshamo]

@Lyndsielee666 Lmfao. I know right. His logic is so dumb. It's like judging all of white people based on hillbillies... Most black don't want anything to do with gangs, crime, and drug addicts. Most black are just normal people trying to go to work. He's judging all of black base on a small minority of the people in the black community. There's shitty people in every race.

[Slim57]

No that's contradictory

[bean2k21]

most likely not

[WowwGirl]

I don't think so

[LegendaryIcon]

probably not

[malwins]

troll

[Hulk30]

it's true

[BlckGrl]

Lazy yes but we're not fucking sub human

[Hulk30]

@BlckGrl understood but if ya got value there's definitely no need to convince someone else of it that dont see it as they should i'd just fuck with those that do see it for any body that's beefin with me that's their problem not mine i definitely dont do back and forth shit over the internet

[BlckGrl]

There Is no back and forth but as blk people we should not accept bring called subhuman bc we are not

[Hulk30]

@BlckGrl understood and agreed

[jimmy2]

The vote has it