Why are people obsessed with having their partners passwords online?

[WowwGirl]

If you don't trust them you shouldn't be with them.

Updates

+1 y

It has nothing to do with your current partner if you've been cheated on before. I don't buy that, If you are that insecure you should be alone.

[admles]

Yep, I am firmly against this.

There is literally no reason for you to have to know your partner's passwords, unless you want to be a snoop.

Now, if you BOTH decide you are fine with this, and BOTH decide you want it, then good for you,

However, if one of you starts bothering the other for their passwords and they aren't comfortable with it, then let it go.

My girl knows the PIN to my phone but that's it, and that's usually so she can change music when I'm driving. She never goes through it (couldn't anyway, my phone is always with me lol).

We have trust, so we don't need each other's passwords, we don't need to snoop, if she wants to see something, she'd ask.

Also, people who think their relationship is "better" than others because you share all passwords, you're an idiot.

You either trust me or you don't.

Plus, I respect the privacy of those I converse with - they know only I am reading our messages.

Additionally, anyone who demands their partner's passwords to go through their stuff is most likely the one doing something dodgy in the first place, and thus assume their partner is too.

[globetrotter22]

If anybody seriously asks for your PW it’s time to run.

[WowwGirl]

That's what I think

[Aerissa_Jade]

I don't understand the obsession either way.

Either not wanting to give it out or asking for it. I've done it both ways, not at all and not worry about it, or when asked we make a easy going agreement to add each others finger print to the others phone.

If you trust them you should need to ask, nor should you have a problem giving it out if asked.

Getting defensive about it, makes things look more suspicious. Trust takes a long time to build up but seconds to be destroyed.

[Pink2000]

I would feel violated if someone I dated wanted my passwords…. I’ve never asked for theirs so they shouldn’t ask for mine.

[WowwGirl]

Same

[TruthBringer]

My girl and I have each other's passwords. Not for the sake of distrust, but we simply have that much trust to allow each other access to things such as our phones or debitcard numbers. She gave me her email password for whenever was registering something for her and I needed frequent access without having her come and type it in all the time.

Although there is some nuance to the "if you don't trust each other, don't be with each other". Trust is earned, not given. And even though there are people who snoop around, I believe it is because they want to be assured that their partner is trustworthy and not hiding anything from them. Not that it is the most healthy thing, but it is understandable. If my girl wants to snoop around on my phone or PC, I let her. I have nothing to hide. And she can be assured that I don't take advantage of her trust.

[diamonddreams]

in my opinion, there should be no secrets when you are in a committed relationship. Sharing your password with your partner is like an extension of trust in a relationship. It will eventually make your relationship stronger especially since most of our lives are online.

[Joeshamo]

I wrote a Mytake on this a year ago The Science of Password Sharing and the Art of Strengthening Relationship I really can't remember what I wrote though.

[Joeshamo]

Oh, damn a lot of people said sharing you passwords with a loved one is a bad idea. I didn't give the MHO's. I couldn't find any good answer so I just left it to the bot.

[WowwGirl]

Yup...

[Joeshamo]

I forgot that mytake until you wrote this question.

[hahahmm]

When you reach the top level of trust you won't care if they have your password since there's mutual trust. It's like having a key to the car/house. Not a big deal. Most relationships aren't at that level and the people in it are even secretly trying to look for a better partner than they're with so of course they don't like it when they're asked for a password. The relationship is not as serious as they pretend.

[WowwGirl]

Thank you sir

[Starla1234]

I agree. If you even have to ask your partner for their passwords, that means you clearly don’t trust them and you shouldn’t be with them in the first place. Plus it would make me feel like a paranoid control freak if I asked for their passwords, I wouldn’t be comfortable with that at all. If I caught someone texting my partner, or my partner texting someone or using dating apps or something, I wouldn’t ask for their passwords and regulate their phone, i would just dump them.

[Jaximus-Lion]

Me and the Mrs. has all codes and passwords shared, we both are secure and we both have nothing to hide from each other. The Mrs has found a lot of sexy gifs in my phone, i found a lot of bdsm porn in hers 🤷‍♂️ . But her favorit porn is porcelain collections and my favorite porn is kicks/sneakers. None of us were pressured to do that, we gave it to each other without drama.

[Leonharted]

I'm not. I have zero interest in having my wife's passwords. She also doesn't want my passwords, but I insisted that the passwords to get into my laptop and password manager stay in our safe in case something happens to me (so that she can get into financial accounts that she doesn't have saved herself). So I guess she could go looking, but she wouldn't find anything interesting.

[Iron_Man]

Because I believe in everything being completely open especially when the same girl lives in your house. And I don’t need to put a password on my phone anytime my girlfriend wants to look at my phone for example than I consider it as her phone to no problem. I wouldn’t have any problem giving my girlfriend my girlsaskguys password if she lived here in my house and wanted it

[WowwGirl]

I believe everyone deserves privacy

[Iron_Man]

Well privacy to me means going into the bedroom or porch and reading a magazine or a book relaxing by yourself having a private time collecting your thoughts. that’s what I call privacy. Having privacy on social media especially when there’s men and women involved and there’s a lot of flirting going on just like there is here that’s not good to many things can happen. And when you have fights with your partner then there’s always that one girl that has an open ear and willing to listen that lives close to you then the next thing you know you’re starting to like each other than your meeting in person behind your partners back

[Moose304]

I am speaking only about marriage! In a marriage, I have found the best longest-lasting marriages are those where trust and transparency are the same. In more situations than I can count on all my fingers, I know of destroyed marriages that started with YOU WILL RESPECT my privacy! The question I have heard both wives and husbands ask is why does my spouse keep things from me? I am single and this is by choice. I was betrayed almost 40 years ago and this left me broken and unable to trust women! Sure I see lots of ladies. There is a lady right now in my kitchen making us some coffee. I just don't take that next step. This is not a battle of the sexes with me. I can't trust and because of this, I have not and never will allow a female access to my heart. I also know several ladies that are the same way. I'm an old throwback, you live your life how you want. I just hope you do find a great life partner. In the end this is all that really matters!

[Iron_Man]

Thanks

[Moose304]

I have to admit, social media has become a monster. Sure, I use Twitter and keep up with friends all over the world. My Twitter is my business as well. One thing I do twice a week is help run a men's recovery group. All Navy, all divorced or in the process of. One was telling me he started to notice his wife was distant. This just got his spidey sense going. Had no proof of anything, but he did ask to see her phone. She refused, left the house, and stayed gone for almost 2 days. Later he was called by the husband of one of her toxic friends she was gone with that friend somewhere on the outer banks with some guys. I know of this also happening in reverse, a wife asked for her husband's phone he refused, she left him. There is the internet, anybody can come on here and say what they would do or not do, go on and on about privacy, but in the real world if you have done nothing wrong be you male or female, that person is hurt and packing, are you still going to stand on privacy? This is when the rubber hits the road. This internet is NOT the real world. It's a make-believe world where people can be whatever or whoever they want. Doubt me? Ask yourself how many dating profiles on tinder are BS?

[Iron_Man]

@Moose304 I basically hate social media because there’s to much flirting and cheating going on. It’s fast easy and simple just like your bedroom door and it happens and that disgust me

[Moose304]

The only social media I use outside websites like Reddit and this one is Twitter and my iPhone SMS texting. These two things are an absolute must because of my career. It breaks my heart to observe how much a sewer social media has become. Right now I am sitting beside an Attorney as she is discussing divorce with a Sailor in my apartment. There are at least 20 pages of printed-out screenshots of his wife with another man. Sexually explicit texts. I can't stand to look at them. The guys in my support group are advised to remove all social media from their phones! Most social media is like cancer on humanity!

[Iron_Man]

@Moose304 That’s horrible

[normalice]

Perhaps they want to trust them but have been burned in the past. If there is anything people are notorious for it is their lack of belief in other people.

"Trust but verify"

[patrick677]

I am more loyal than most of women. But because stereotypes women dont trust me easily think im player when im the opposite.

She gonna ask. I am gonna give if i really like her its okai it's like i have nothing to hide. I mean its bad. She gonna be addict to spy everything. She might get crazy mad for nothing when i did nothing also 🤣
by the way i dont want her code. If someone do shit to you and you was good you leaving there is no second chance because loyal people dont fail once )

[VikingWarLord]

Because Monogamy is NOT natural for us and it turns people into psychopathic CONTROL FREAKS.

You are a Primate Mammalian species, we did not evolve to be with one partner for life. Most people don't understand their own "nature" so they are in and out of monogamous relationships, squabbling around in ignorance. Read the book "SEX AT DAWN" by Cacilda Jetha and Christopher Ryan.

[Likes2drive]

Yeah that’s true, they probably are insecure if they need that

[WowwGirl]

Agree

[genericname85]

i don't know and i don't care. she's not getting my passwords, cause privacy exists in every relationship and she can't respect that, she can't be in a relationship - at least not with me.

[genericname85]

if she can't respect that*

[Guanfei]

It's a matter of control. They want to know everything about the partner, and being able to tell them to leave it if they don't like it.
No one wants passwords "just to check". You don't check and do nothing, you check and ask the partner to get rid of what you don't like.

[Guccigabbana18]

Because they’re insecure in that relationship or in relationships in general

[TRUKIT808]

Well over time I would give out eachothers naturally. I gave mine to my girlfriend after we were dating for a while, but she never asked for it because we loved eachother for us n what we had. But she gave me hers very early, but thats because im not a very open person and she is.

[ItsMeElliana]

I'm not, I'd rather not know about it and stress out, and be paranoid.
i would rather give him his personal space and only hear it from him.
i wouldn't want my partners passwords

[RealMarek]

The best bet is to be with someone you can trust so much that you don’t worry about what they’re doing online.

[wingattebaby16]

becoz when he is evasive or hesitates or worse, closes his browser fast when i come in the room, AND he never has ANY History on on his computer, i want to know Why?

[Subarugirl]

I think the question should be why are people so obsessed with not letting their spouse have their passwords...

[WowwGirl]

Because everyone deserves privacy

[WowwGirl]

And you should trust your partner. I could careless who he talks to again because I trust him.

[Subarugirl]

Of course, and if you trusted your spouse why wouldn't you let them have the password?

[WowwGirl]

I would he's not insecure so he wouldn't ask.

[WowwGirl]

Same as myself

[Subarugirl]

It has nothing to do with security. What if you die and you spouse needs to get into your phone, that's been a huge issue with apple.

[WowwGirl]

1. We are talking about social media not phones.
2. It does have to do with insecurity and if you don't believe me look at the comments

[Subarugirl]

It doesn't have to do with insecurity unless the person want's it because they are insecure. Even if it was the case and your spouse was feeling insecure, why wouldn't you want to reassure them.

[TruthBringer]

For the first time I actually agree with @Subarugirl.

@wowwgirlI t doesn't always have to do with insecurity. That's just a simple-minded cop-out to dismiss nuance to why people would do it. Trust is earned, not given. If you're not willing to give access to stuff such as your phone, computer or social media, then it gives off the impression that you're hiding something. My girlfriend and I gave each other access not out of insecurity, but out of privilege. We often use each other's phones for the simplicity of it being in reach or having to do something more important. We don't have anything to hide from each other.

[Juxtapose]

@TruthBringer yeah no, I have very private conversations that my friends would not want shared.

[WowwGirl]

@Juxtapose thank you

[TruthBringer]

@Juxtapose Neither my partner and I check out other people's conversations. We simply have access, but we aren't snooping around trying to find any sign of unloyalty. I think that sets us apart from those who are truly insecure.

Don't think that people who give each other their passwords are doing so to invade another's privacy.

[Subarugirl]

@TruthBringer exactly, you can still have access to your significant others accounts and still respect their privacy.

[Juxtapose]

Well I would not share any secrets with you two.

np WowwGirl.

[Subarugirl]

@Juxtapose lol no worries I don't want any of you secrets lol they are all yours

[TruthBringer]

@Juxtapose Funny how you think that we are remotely interested in your life

[Juxtapose]

I never said I was 😂

[Juxtapose]

Interested in sharing.

[Juxtapose]

You guys are just salty because you are shitty friends.

[TruthBringer]

@Juxtapose Says the dude using ad hominems. This topic has nothing to do with friendship, pal. But by all means stick to your wishful thinking

[WowwGirl]

@Juxtapose will you teach me hominems man🤣

[Juxtapose]

Keep trying to do distract from the fact that anybody sharing anything private with you is an idiot 🤭

[Juxtapose]

You just act normally Woww and it will happen naturally.

[WowwGirl]

@Juxtapose thanks

[WowwGirl]

I'm sure their spouses are not allowed to lock the bathroom door.
Anything could happen in there

[TruthBringer]

@WowwGirl Love the strawman argument. Bold of you to assume that. Stick to your logical fallacies, love.

[WowwGirl]

@TruthBringer no argument just laughing 🤣

[TruthBringer]

@WowwGirl Glad we have something in common lmfao

[WowwGirl]

@TruthBringer your pushing it man lol

[Outofthegrey]

Because people are just shitty.

Everyone now has been cheated on or done some cheating.

[WowwGirl]

Didn't answer my question at all

[Outofthegrey]

Very clearly did.

[WowwGirl]

I just said you didn't. It wasn't a question

[Dinosaursandanime65]

[Dinosaursandanime65]

I will one day actually make them. So far I’ve made two.

[hi_it_is_me123]

I dont know but i have no problem with giving the password of my social media accounts as long as he does the same. I actually prefere to use same account since it is cute and i also dont have to worry about forgetting passwords

[Anastacia1989]

They either don’t trust them or they are jealous and protective of their partner... gotta be one or the other

[worldscolide]

@WowwGirl It all boils down to insecurity. If the person is so insecure that they feel like that they need that info, they should not be in adult relationships.

[WowwGirl]

I agree totally. I bet T could careless like me.

[worldscolide]

Agreed. She knows i have nothing to hide.

[WowwGirl]

Same

[Diodoro]

Fear and a want for control that stems from that insecurity usually

[WowwGirl]

Yeah

[coconut94]

I have never met anyone who wanted my password and have never wanted anyone’s. If they do they’re psycho and controlling.

[WowwGirl]

I agree

[NathanDavis]

never asked for

never been asked to

never met someone like this

[WowwGirl]

I haven't either. But on here it's a big deal for many I guess

[blondfrog]

Yeh that's a red flag to me. You shouldn't trust anyone with your passwords. IT 101.

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

Yeah, it makes no sense to me at all, I agree with you

[WowwGirl]

T. u

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

@WowwGirl Welcome :-) ;-)

[Mehzmeh]

There is no reason for it. Like you said, if you can’t trust them why be with them. Because one person cheated on you. Doesn’t mean the new person was going to.

[WowwGirl]

We don't even go in each other's offices. I think everyone deserves privacy. Even kids

[Mehzmeh]

Exactly!!! Everyone deserves privacy.

I hate people who treat all relationships the same. Like that person who has a beef with you on here. Who is still my not so close friend. They and I had an argument about how they treat all boyfriends the same. And how they expect every boyfriend to do the same. Like, god damn young you dumb. Lol

[WowwGirl]

🤣 I could say soooooo much

[WowwGirl]

Damn🤣🤣🤣

[Mehzmeh]

Young one** lol

[WowwGirl]

Oh that's not what I was going to say Love

[humpbackjack]

Exactly I don’t want your passwords and you’re not getting mine if you feel like you need to see what I’m doing ask me and I’ll show you

[TrueConfection]

My husband and I don't have passwords on our devices.

[AnthonyJ01]

My ex used to go through and check texts and other things. Although, she never found anything. After she kicked me and myson out, I went into the account and found almost 750 texts over 9 days with the little "B" that she cheated on me with.

[Quigly]

People have boundaries, Why do you feel the need to violate other people boundaries?

Trust is earned, maybe you haven't done a good job at earning trust.

[OddBeMe]

Very very true. My wife can text or chat with all the guys she wants. She ain’t goin nowhere. I have the pics….

[WowwGirl]

Lmao got a good insurance policy myself.

[WowwGirl]

After

[Casey_Black]

Why are you so obsessed with hiding things from your partner?

[WowwGirl]

Im not we trust each other. Why would I monitor a adult

[boobliker]

i don't if she wants me to look at something it got to be open or i give it back and ask her to open it

[whosnumber1]

well I don't know about the being alone part but it's definitely an insecurity that people should work on with themselves.

[skeetskeetskeet]

I don't want hers... we all talk shit online that would look bad to someone else but don't mean shit so let it just b that

[Gia013100]

Actually to me that’s sign they don’t trust you. I got nothing to hide.

[In_Trance]

I agree with you 100%. People shouldn't go on their SO social media at all.

[Layafell]

First time I hear that people do that 😅

[WowwGirl]

Just weirdos

[Better_off_here]

i think it has to do with control over someone. you want to know that they are for you only.

[Belgie]

Lack of trust but you knew that.

[sheikalana]

Because they are so possessive and insecure.

[loves2learn]

I don't get it either.

[WowwGirl]

Mine or his is just not that interesting 🤣

[loves2learn]

Haha! I know. Why would I want yo read all the stuff he posts on car forums? 😴😴😴

[loves2learn]

*to…

[WowwGirl]

Exactly

[BCRanger10]

Because they don't trust each other.

[WowwGirl]

Why be with someone you don't trust

[Agape93]

No idea. I trust my partners.

[WowwGirl]

As you should

[MotorcycleMan]

Because they're insecure would be my guess.

[LinaDaGoddess]

Their need to be in control and know everything…

[BoobMan]

I doubt people are actually obsessed with this.

[Blueeyes81]

Insecurity. Nothing more nothing less

[WowwGirl]

Thank you

[SeanshterMonster]

I couldn't agree more

[WowwGirl]

Thank you

[Slim57]

I don't know one of my exes was like that hence ex

[Joker_]

People want a partner who isn't weird

[Bklynbadboy12]

I agree they're just insecure

[WowwGirl]

Thanking you

[Bklynbadboy12]

Your welcome

[Blackcupcake]

agreed!💯

[Love_some_chels]

Trust issues from current or past relationships.

[legalboxers]

narcissistic

[WowwGirl]

Yupp