Is 2-3 years of engagement too long?

[Anonymous]

My best friend is worried (we're also concern for her? and feels as if she were back to being a girlfriend again. The only difference is she's been wearing the ring for 2 years and 5 months already. Her fiance already got promoted in his workplace but he's still making more excuses to postpone things and won't give out a date.

If a woman is engaged but there is no wedding date, is she also getting strung along? How long is an engagement suppose to be? Is 2-3 years of being engaged but no wedding date too long?

Yes

No

Updates

+1 y

Her family isn't liking the situation either. They are all wondering when is the wedding going to take place. She's having a hunch that she's getting string along.
Is this now another way of men stringing along a woman; a prolonged engagement with excuses?

[Effably]

If she feels she is being strung along she should leave.

That said: The average is something like 18 months.
However since this includes people who engage and marry nearly right away but also does not include people who never do it is natural to assume that the real value would be above 18 months. Wildly guessing a fair average might be two years.

If that is remotely true 2-3 years is not alarming. Is it a little above average? Yes, probably. Is it very fair beyond it? No.

If she doubts his intentions that is cause for concern. The length in itself is not.

[OlderAndWiser]

If he is serious about wanting to marry her, they will start discussing a date within three months of getting engaged. The further you go past three months, the more suspicious it gets. She needs to return his ring and find a man who is serious about a LTR.

[kyleelyn199723]

Personally speaking? I think you and her family need to butt out. Their relationship is between them and them only. Maybe his reasoning to pushing back is reasonable. Sounds like he wants to be completely stable before tying the knot. That’s for him to decide and for her to communicate her concerns to him.

[Asker]

She has been worried and asking me for my opinions. Her expression doesn't look good. She told me she's having a hunch that she's getting string along. The wedding was suppose to take place shortly after his job promotion and now he's postponing it again. This is the 4th time he's postponing things and she's upset at this moment.

[kyleelyn199723]

@asker my advice? She needs to stop going to others for opinions and speak to him on a serious note. If she is avoiding doing so, then she is deserving of things going in his favor because she’s choosing not to communicate with the one and only person that will marry her.

[Prettygurl12]

My husband and I were engaged for 2 years but we set the date within the first week of being engaged and stuck to it.

That's different than not picking a date.

[Danny_dan92]

Depends on two factors.




What your wedding plans are, and how much income you and your fiancé make.


If you both want some lavish ass wedding ceremony but make little money, obviously you’ll have to save up a couple years or more…