Dont you agree that bugging a relative, friend, etc to get in a romantic relationship or to have kids is not a good thing?

[Steven8000]

It is not good for people to bug people on that topic. If someone doesn't want a romantic relationship at the moment or ever it is their true choice. Same with having kids. Society pressures people too much with these topics. I think that makes things worse a lot of times. Anyways it is that person's life not yours.

[Cynicaldreamer]

Not only is it a bad thing, but it typically has the opposite effect!
For example, growing up everyone told me I'd change my mind about wanting kids!

... I don't like kids, and my feeling has not changed over the years. Telling me that just made me want to prove them wrong.

Same with relationships: I'm warned I'm going to die alone, be miserable, or a cat lady (I don't even like cats! Lol)

Those same people are typically in miserable marriages or whine about their relationship problems. Misery loves company.

[ZackBan]

I agree with giving and receiving advice.
Actual logical arguments as to why having kids can be a good thing.
But the whole concept of "pressure" not only does not work on me it also makes me dislike a person a little.

But I do get irritated at counter arguments. It's one thing to give advice but another yo tell someone they are wrong.

Like me I swore I would not have a baby before I make enough money to give him or her the best life ever. This could be tomorrow or it could be never but regardless I will not have my kid grow up in poverty like I did.
My mom likes to say "have kids anyway they are a joy" this I don't approve of because I made my case clear it's not up for debate my mind is not gonna change so all that's left is a pointless disagreement about something perosnal to me only.

[GoodManDave]

Yeah. It’s annoying. I may ask a friend about dating, if I’ve heard some change in their status… but I won’t constantly bug them about it.


I figure it’s usually none of my business, especially with the baby situation. I don’t know if the couple is secretly going through something where they can’t have kids, or they’re waiting, or they just had a miscarriage, or lost a kid tragically… or there’s some
Kind of messy relationship issues and they’re about to divorce or break up - and I wouldn’t want to bring that up. If you decide to wait… or don’t want kids, that’s usually not my business. I rarely even ask - especially JUST after they got married or bought a house or moved in together. As a friend, I may ask out of curiosity, but I’ll probably wait until it’s a more appropriate time.

[malakaki]

This is an issue that our aunts in our society are unfortunately very confused about. If they see a newly married couple, they immediately say "my offspring, when are you having a child, at least have a child before you are old.", without taking into account how this child will be fed and grown. Then the couple says, "aunt, we're not ready right now." The aunt says, "every child is born with sustenance, my offspring, god provides their sustenance." What a strange dialogue. I don't think the child is very important, even marriage is not at all.

[Steven8000]

Where are you from?

[Desconhecida]

It's so annoying!! older people do that a lot... try to guide our lives according to some shitty manual of what we should be doing right now

[Steven8000]

No offense to them but you are right. People in their 40s and older do that a lot. They don't seem to understand how hard it is these days when it comes to dating. Because it was easier in the early 2000s and before that, they believe it is still easy. My mom one time said how come I am not trying with dating, despite her knowing I tried for years. She makes it seem, it as easy as drinking juice. I can tell it was easier back decades ago with dating by what people tell me, but it stopped being easy like 15 years ago. But even if it is easy for someone it is still their choice what they want to do. Same applies to when they want to have kids or if they just don't ever want kids

[Steven8000]

I do want a girlfriend. I never had a girlfriend but because things are difficult with dating, in order to maintain my sanity, I stopped being desperate. And after I stopped being desperate, I realized I don't have to have a girlfriend to be happy. I want a girlfriend but I don't need one.

[Desconhecida]

You are totally right. These days dating is something taken too lightly by most people who tend to treat their partners as replaceable merchandise. The first misunderstanding is enough to lead both back to dating apps. I'm glad you took control over your life by setting these boundaries. I'm sure you'll easily find a good person very soon -- you seem to be very nice and grounded.

[Steven8000]

@Desconhecida honestly I don't think I would ever get a girlfriend cause I am an ugly man. I am 30 and never had one.

[Steven8000]

@Desconhecida honestly I don't think I would ever get a girlfriend cause I am an ugly man.

[Desconhecida]

@Steven8000 beauty is relative - what's beautiful to someone might be the opposite for other person, and that's what's the best about people. When it comes to relationships, looks are not what it counts to have a real connection. Trust me.

[clubmanager]

I usually believe that it is nobody's job to poke into someone's life like that which can pressure them into getting relationships or having kids. These are the kind of decisions one should take on their own or with the only person they are involved.
But that being said i convinced my sister to have a baby and she agreed but i didn't need to push her though. When she became mama she gave birth to 2 babies instead of 1. Buy one get one kind of deal haha
Many told me i shouldn't have suggested her to go for the baby because she can be careless and cannot be a good mother but one she was pregnant already and second i think she also wanted it. She is a little immature but i think she can be a great mama

[Anonymous]

In my country lots of jokes are based on this issue. Who’s going to ask what in their visit, and how it’s not their business.
Every time in a family gathering relatives will ask (depending on what level you’re currently in):
Are you going to college?
Have you finished college?
Have you found work?
Have you found a girl/boy yet?
Are you engaged yet?
When are you getting married?
Have you bought a house?
You’re both working?
When are you going to have children?
Is one child enough? It’ll be lonely!
You sure you can handle two children?
Which school they’re going to?
Which classes they’re going to?
Are they going to college?
What are they going to study?
……

[Steven8000]

Where are you from?

[D_Bone_Steak]

I agree. Some people have their own ideas of what is best and they get really pushy with it or even want a partner in crime... like a friend that's trying to talk you into cheating (because they are), or have kids (because they did), or be single because they are... and so on. Then there is the older generation with their judgements of what you should or shouldn't be doing. It's a never ending annoyance for me when dealing with those types of people.

[Unknown_Swan_]

It's not a good thing I agree.

Many people also try to find a good long-term relationship, but fail to do so. Often through no fault of their own.
Consistently bugging someone as to why they haven't found one, or had kids, can then lead to feelings of sadness/anger and or depression in this case.

Just think before you judge. As you wouldn't like it if it was the other way around.

[Berethor]

It makes sense to be nagged about it at the age of 30 and above.

https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/MyBiologicalClockIsTicking

[slatyb]

It's just rude. Is this happening to you? If asked, pretend you didn't hear the question and ask them something completely unrelated. If they have kids, ask them about their kids. That will get most people going for as long as you will listen.

If they persist, just say that you don't want to discuss it. If they ask a third time, just walk away Renee.

[sean1234]

I don't think I have ever had anyone I'm related to bugging me about it, almost the opposite. I used to go just about crazy about being single. I've had no encouragement and look at the women here, they don't seem to care, but then again, this world is soo evil its about to pop. I'm not sure if I would even want to raise kids now🤷‍♂️. Maybe, but where's the real Christian women? There aren't really any, not anywhere next door at least.

[Citizenkirk]

It is something a person should consider when the time is right for them. Being pressured into it before your ready is not helpful or advantages for you.

[SunnyCaliGirl]

Yes I agree to a certain point it can be toxic, but it can also be shaken off as a joke and if it get too much for you let them know that and that it’s not their place to push children on to your personal intimate relationships

[Adam1978]

I can understand partents until one of their kids has grand children. But the rest can bug off, it's not their business.

[JCrockett]

Disagree. Having kids is great and important. And other people in your life have the right to look forward to something they'd like to see.

[Fireguy17]

TV..
You should not be pressured into doing something you either do not want to do, or are not ready to do.

[Ehjoh1]

People should decide for themselves to get into romantic relationships or to have children. That's not for society to decide, it makes people miserable.

Fuck conformism. Simple as.

[loveslongnails]

I agree. It's one of those things that's " did I ask for your opinion", or "do I look like I care what your opinion is on the subject"?

[Uptowngirl88]

Yes!! It's annoying if they do that to me I tell them they need to hook themselves up.

[Steven8000]

People need to realize that you don't need to have those things to be happy. They can live the rest of their lives without those things and still be happy. There are people that have been single their whole lives until death or for decades until death. They were happy during that whole time. Of course some people dont want that and are sad about it but there are plenty of people that feel they can be happy without it. I don't like it when people assume others are lying when saying that. Also people can be happy as well if they decide to never have kids their whole life.

[Twalli]

I agree about societal pressures. People have asked me why I want to marry my girlfriend if we don't want kids.

[whosnumber1]

yes, lots of times people are trying but are unsuccessful due to things like low sperm count. bugging couples a out having kids is a bad idea.

[Jintendo18]

Yeah, it doesn’t make it happen any sooner than it’s meant to happen.

[BazookaTrouper]

Decree 770 is the logical conclusion to what they want.

[Snakeyes7]

It's annoying but I think it's nowhere near as big of a deal as people make it out to be

[Pohjolan]

Not really. At least they are implying that I could get a date.

[jimmy2]

At birthing that smiling hoes away hut then instant love

[InsideBeauty]

I think the same as you.

[Steven8000]

People don't need to be in a romantic relationship to be happy and don't need kids to be happy either. Pressuring people to be in a relationship could make them do stupid decisions and making them have kids when they are ready for them or don't ever want them is not fair to the kids.

[InsideBeauty]

Thats true.

[Luopio27]

I used to be guilty of this.

[Lisa0203]

Yes it is wrong I believe.

[Little_Bumblebee]

Yeah, absolutely.

[Phoenix98]

Yes I agree.

[attackgrrrl]

ya i agree

[awkward_author]

I agree 100%.

[Yuuibtony]

Agree