Am I justified in complaining about this?

[Anonymous]

My girlfriend asks me to rub her feet pretty much daily, and most times I oblige. I have never done this for previous girlfriends but she kept bugging me to so much that I ended up caving, and it turns out I'm actually very good at it apparently, so that's something I guess.

But she started talking to my mom about it (the two of them are ridiculously close, it's a blessing most of the time but not in this case) and now whenever I visit she asks me to rub hers as well. I swear, I spend half of my life with a foot in my hand these days.

I started getting sick of constantly doing it after a while and ended up vowing not to never do it for either of them again. Apparently this makes me childish and selfish.

Am I the one overreacting, or are they? My friends are no help, they just find it funny.

[jordieloid]

I won't lie I think it's a bit funny too, but that doesn't mean it isn't a problem.

You should definitely talk it through with your girlfriend. But not just talk it lightly, ask her to sit down to have a talk with you, and when you do that don't show that it makes you angry, just calmly ask her to have a chat about the subject. She'll be less likely to understand your point of view if you show that it makes you angry/annoyed. Talk calmly as well.
Let her know that things like rubbing someone's feet are a bit intimate (at least for me) like, if you aren't getting your feet rubbed by a professional than you must be hella close to the person who's doing it. Tell her that it's awkward or uncomfortable to be always rubbing her mother's feet. If she's got some common sense, she should understand.

As for rubbing your own girlfriend's feet, if she only asks you to do it for short periods of time or every once in a while, I don't see anything wrong with that (unless you REALLY despise rubbing her feet, which doesn't seem to be the case). But if she asks you to do it too frequently, tell her that you get tired of doing it. But think first, is there any small sacrifice your girlfriend is constantly doing for you? If yes, then her asking to get her feet rubbed frequently is reasonable. If no, then she needs to learn that people eventually get tired of stuff like that.

[Asker]

I agree with this for the most part, I'm okay with doing that for her occasionally but it's that she almost seems entitled to it that get's to me.

Also I think you got a little mixed up, it's my mom that she's got asking about it, not her own - easy mistake to make

[jordieloid]

Oh my bad, thought it was her mom haha

Well I don't think your girlfriend is right then. Nor your mom. I think you'll have to figure out a way to show that it's really annoying to be always doing that, but that you don't mind if it's once in a while.

My suggestion is that you show that you are strict regarding that subject and that you won't give in. But I'll just let you know that I'm really bad at asserting my boundaries to others so this might not be the best advice😅 It's just the best I can think of

[Asker]

Thanks for the advice!

[Flower7]

It’s too much for you to be obligated to do this for your mother also. Stick to doing it only for your girlfriend, as long as it doesn’t bother you too much.

If you feel guilty about not doing this for your mother anymore, maybe you can buy her a foot bath or foot massager. Mother’s Day is coming up pretty soon. That would be a nice time to give her that for a gift.

[Asker]

That's a good idea, thank you!

[jasco]

It's not. You don't have to do something for them daily if you don't want to. They can get mad at you as much as they want but unless they wanna do something for you out the kindness of their heart sometimes than you have every right not to do what you don't feel like doing

[Asker]

Completely agree.

[D_Bone_Steak]

It sounds like they're taking advantage of your simpatry. Dude... no more foot rubs ever in your life. I think you'd actually earn some respect by avoiding foot rubs. Don't make yourself a living joke.

[IMuser]

If you are doing this because of obligation, that's not good. Be childish and be selfish, for your own damned self

[Anonymous]

I'd be happy to give foot rubs in exchange for BJs from my girlfriend.

[Asker]

Thatd definitely be a fair trade haha

[Opinion Owner]

If your girlfriend is happy, that goes a long way to building a strong and lasting relationship that includes sex.

[MrtoddsWildRide]

Yeah. I can where that's both annoying and as John Travolta explains it in Pulp Fiction, that's a bit weird.

https://www.youtube.com/embed/KCO-SBPTF5E

[Jamie05rhs]

That's a great scene. Haha

[little_rose]

I don't want to have a say in your feet problem. I would never touch anyone's feet. I've always been disgusted by them.🤢

[Asker]

That's understandable lol

[XXblack88]

This would get old very fast. I would sit both of them down and ask them both to lay off a bit.

[Asker]

Trust me, it did.

I asked them both to ease up on it but that's when I was called selfish and childish. It's like they feel entitled to it 🤷‍♂️

[XXblack88]

Smh sounds like there the selfish ones to me.

[Fireguy17]

Not mom, but when you are rubbing your girlfriends feet, there is nothing saying that she can't rub Mr happy with the other foot.

[Anonymous]

Tell them, since they're so close, that they can rub each other's feet. You're out! Problem solved!

[Opinion Owner]

Let's see how long it takes for them to begin to not want to do it for each other, then maybe they'll understand your position not being about selfishness or childishness, and more about them taking advantage of you. Let's see how generous they are when the task becomes tedious and feels more like an obligation than a nice gesture.

Barrng that, tell them how they feel, is how they feel. You're just not doing it any longer. Deal with it out rub each other's feet.

[Asker]

Lol it's a good idea, but if I broached it to them I doubt they'd take it seriously. Still, I'll keep it in my back pocket

[Opinion Owner]

I wouldn't care what they thought. I'm not doing it any longer and that's that. Tough shit!

[Opinion Owner]

If they want them rubbed, they'll do each other or get nothing because you're not doing it!

[Opinion Owner]

Of you don't stand up for yourself, who will?

[Dinosaursandanime65]

Just say no when you don’t want to, it’s not like your enforced by law to massage them

[Dinosaursandanime65]

You’re

[Jamie05rhs]

F'ing MHO right here!

[Dinosaursandanime65]

@Jamie05rhs I’m glad it’s helpful but I think this is the kind of thing literally anyone would say. But I mustn’t forget most humans are devolving in terms of intelligence (I’m not saying you are but Pingas) so I shouldn’t be surprised

[Jamie05rhs]

@Dinosaursandanime65 👍

[Anonymous]

They have turned you into their personal "foot boy." If you have a foot fetish and like it, then keep doing it. If you don't, then be a man and stop...

[TrillXHippy]

As much as you have to do it I would complain and I’d never rub someone’s feet

[Anonymous]

My guess is it's been easy for you to get a girlfriend most of your life

[spartan55]

So do you at least get a blowjob out of the deal?

[Jamie05rhs]

Your girlfriend should have kept her mouth shut.

[Sabretooth]

talk to em.

[Asker]

I did, they called me childish and selfish for being against doing it, that what I said in the post.