Have you ever felt like you always have to have your own back? Are you cautious with who you associate with?

Question

Datboi65 · Accepted Answer

Eh? If you want to be alone all your life, that's a choice you can take. I am more of a lone wolf, but it's not because "I want to just rely on myself". I am more of an introvert. This also means that I am a great leader, because I am used to doing shit anyway, so in a team environment I like to take charge of stuff. Have I received help from people in the past? Absolutely. Have I always been on my own? No. That's where I put myself most of the time.

The "people will betray you" shtick is overrated. If you know how to screen people, you will save so much time. Expect a snake to bite, and a bee to sting. There are a lot of ways to identify if someone reciprocates good treatment, or if it's just one-sided from your end without reciprocity, and I cut those people out immediately. I have a small circle of friends, but we are very close. I have never been popular, not have I ever wanted to be. I am confident enough that when I talk to new groups of people, I control the conversation, but I prefer to spend my time either alone or with 2 friends for peace and less noise.

Have I been betrayed by friends before? Yes. That was years ago though. I am no longer naive, and I choose friends carefully. If you miss red-flags, you have yourself to blame. I would definitely say knowing people is definitely better than being all on your own, but you have to find the right balance.

blackgaletiger · Accepted Answer

Its a selfish world and a situation comes where people would do what in their best interest. Family I dont care about being cautions around because this stage in life what can you hide or change around people you grew up with that know stuff about you that you probably forgot but others I do. Friends come and go you don't regret the time but regret the information you spend together.

DizzyDesii · Answer

Yea i have to have my own back but Im not careful with who I associate with. Im an open book and not afraid to speak my truth. So when they go spreading rumors trying to lie on me, i’ll happily let people know what it was that I actually said which will likely be 10X worse

muscularbumblebee · Answer

Yes for sure to both of those statements. I can only rely on my father from my family who raised me for the most part, the rest of them either abusive, dead or fake and have chosen the other side (complicated family issues).

As for associations I’m also very cautious although I think that’s in a slightly different context. I always have this worry people will judge me based on people I hang out with so I’ve stopped hanging out with certain people just for that reason. Eg. If they party a lot and I don’t then they’ll think I do it too even if I never do. But also their education, way they dress etc

I’m also careful with men in general as I’m always scared their intentions is more then just ‘being friendly’ and look out for red flags more than usual but don’t think it’s because of growing up. Just experience and gut feeling in general really and usually being the case

Oigit · Answer

I am fearlessly loyal to myself and have always had my own back. It comes from somethings I experienced growing up. I might as well be wearing armor and carrying a sword when dealing with people and that has become more true as I have gotten older. Due to experiences with people over the years reminding me why I picked up the sword in the first place. About the only people I never had my guard up around was my grandparents.

Unintelligent_geek · Answer

It's really helpful and essential to be independent, most of the time. But yes, if you have a very close person, you can expect a little support from them. Well, honestly expectations are very vicious. They can make or break you. So usually it's better if you stay independent and strong, by yourself.

Adam1978 · Answer

Yes I have been raised to be independent and that has nothing to do with not be able to trust my family. I am sure they would help if I would need it, but I shouldn't lean on them at all time. That way if some serious shit hit the fan, they can jump in and help. However the opposite is more likely in my family.

Aerissa_Jade · Answer

Always have my own, but my family due to my attack has mine too. If my rapist ever came to my families farm while I was there, pretty sure he'd end up missing forever and I would be spared the details.

The saying goes, you have your friends, your Best friends and those that help you dispose of the body.

Not saying I've ever done anything like that, just that is how close some of us are.

GoodGuyBreakingBad · Answer

I watch my back cause there are scammers that seem to try targeting me that is why I try just to keep things kosher, I study people's actions and the way they talk, what language they use, yes better to be safe than sorry.

Jltakk · Answer

I have a fearful-avoidant attachment style. I am very apprehensive towards people in general and recede quickly into the background when the convo is done. I pay heavy attention to mannerisms and feel like I'm boring or worst, not meeting their expectations in the convo. All this while masking my ADHD and constantly being in screensaver mode.

So yes.

douride2 · Answer

For the most part I am careful who I associate with.

JustiReno · Answer

I don’t keep no … … around me I don’t want, I don’t need Just a few … that I'll kill for Other … I don't feel for credits: Chinx - Around Me, Chinx - The Other Side

melanieeeB · Answer

Yeah of course! If I'm not going to protect myself, back me up and etc, who else will? Lmaoo

TommyMountainFigure · Answer

I have an excellent family and friend base too. If needed they would be there for me the second I need them.. To be fair though, that works both ways!

NathanDavis · Answer

nope... I've know people for long and there's no reason for not trust them

Bubbles16 · Answer

Well I was bullied when I was younger so the fear of being bullied again kind of effected my friend making skills and that's why my friend group is relatively small

IsoUser · Answer

I have always felt like I have had to Own my Own back ever since Iraq and Afghanistan especially being a PJ I rarely trust anyone except other PJ'S or Special Operator's. With them I trust my life.

TallAnon · Answer

I "can" rely on my family, but I always feel like I shouldn't. I deal with everything on my own. I don't mind help, I just avoid it.

msc545 · Answer

I support me. Nobody else ever has or will.

Anonymous · Answer

Yes, you are the only one you can trust.

jimmy2 · Answer

Many people are not good to be around

Anonymous · Answer

I am alone; so yes.

Have you ever felt like you always have to have your own back? Are you cautious with who you associate with?

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