Is jealousy healthy in a relationship?

Question

ohshee · Accepted Answer

I think most people would say yes I really don't think it is I look at it like this when I'm in a relationship and I'm with my girlfriend and guys look at her and she catches in I catch them at the same time we were just kind of looking at each other and smile first of all that's human nature guys are going to look girls are going to love but it's what you do with it you can't get negative about it because it's a positive thing if a guy looks at your girlfriend is he saying wow well that's a compliment why did you get negative about that when you're in a relationship you never know what's going to happen you have to give all your trust to somebody all your loyalty to somebody and I hope that they give it back to you you feel secure you know the guys are going to be looking at her you know girls are going to be looking at guys it's Human Nature you can't control anybody and why would you even want to whatever happens happens but if that trust is there that respect is there and that means you're having a real relationship and that's what a relationship is about when you add jealousy did you add negative vibes and you're telling your partner you don't believe in them there's no reason to get jealous of a guy just looking at her because you trust her you can't be mad at the guy and I'm definitely not going to be mad at her because I trust her when people are negative that means there's no trust and if there's no trust there's no respect relationship is doomed

molonski2 · Accepted Answer

Jealousy is literally a curse , it shows the individuals insecurities , its NEVER good to be jealous , and with some its like a constant , you are constantly explaining yourself , and in the end it has the effect of sending you to another because your thought process is " She's going to think I did anyhow " , I can recall one girlfriend from Singapore , stunning looks , but the pressure she had me under , I was always on edge , I look back sometimes at this photos , and I can see the stress inside my body , not good for health , and such a nasty nasty individual , it starts jokingly and then just like domestic violence it builds until you just want to get rid of them , but jealous people make that difficult too.
Its a genuine curse , if you are starting ever to feel it , just take some weeks off and get away on your own , a horrid emotion , extremely prevalent in Asian culture , very dangerous.

gingemini · Accepted Answer

So, I think a little bit of jealousy is normal and happens to most people. I think it's important how you handle jelaousy, rather than whether you felt it at all.

If you feel jelaous, talk to your partner about it so they can reassure you. Don't limit them, don't tell them they can't hang out with the opposite sex (or same sex if it's an lgbtq relationship), don't tell them they can't like people's photos or make them unfollow people. That's just toxic. Remember - if they wanna cheat on you they'll do it regardless. They can always find ways to lie to you and cheat on you even if you limited their freedom completely.

Controlling them is not the solution. You need to trust them and they need to trust you. Without trust, your relationship will not function.

Trust them, and if they still cheat on you, that's on them, leave them and do your best to heal and move on.

We can't control what other people do and people can often surprise us, you never know what to expect. But there are certain things you need in a relationship if you want it to work - one of those things is trust.

Emiliamazing · Accepted Answer

I think it depends on where the jealousy is directed. Isit looks, is it income or career trajectory, is it relationships with others that aren’t necessarily romantic? A little bit of jealousy can be a good motivator if the individual who is jealous realizes that they are jealous of their significant other. If the jealousy does not motivate an individual to be a better partner or friend or achieve more in their career, then I think it would be unhealthy. When myself or my husband catch an eye or two, we certainly don’t get jealous of that. We take it as a compliment.

DizzyDesii · Answer

In my opinion, its good to be jealous on occasion. But jealous in a good way like damn, i hate so many others find my significant other attractive. When a person starts stalking your actions and constantly questioning your behavior then thats when its unhealthy. I always say that I dont trust other women around whoever I date; however, i trust the guy not to feed into their seductive bullshit. I think its good jealousy that I can accept that he's desirable but that I also trust him not to cheat. Bad jealousy would be if i constantly asked him if he's going to cheat withh all the girls throwin themselves at him.

Lliam · Answer

To a certain extent, yes. But not to the extent of being controlling. I wouldn't spy on my partner or tell her what she could do or who she could see. But I'd be jealous if guys were hitting on her or if she seemed interested in other guys.
I'd dump her if she was unfaithful or if I couldn't trust her. Relationships are built on trust.

I think a partner appreciates a certain amount of jealousy because it shows how much you desire them. I mean, if nothing would make you jealous, it would seem like you didn't care one way or the other.

DaySpring · Answer

You know this is such a great question and I've wonder this for a long time.
I think it indicates something. It indicates a lack of union. A lack of being united. And I think we can all say that is the #1 reason relationships fail. A lack of coherence. "Divided we fall"
Division leads to a lack of trust and many other bad things. But division is the core no matter the cause of the division.

But you know I also think there are levels. Does one think their partner will leave them for someone else? That is a pretty hefty level.

So YES @Desconhecida it is a bad thing but it depends on the degree of the jealousy. The level correlates with the lack of unity assuming both parties have healthy images of themselves.

Xoxocutekitty · Answer

A little bit is okay.

Chances are if you have something good and worth having, then someone else out there wants it too.

Even if most people won't hit on your partner in front of you, there are some distant acquaintances that have no problem looming in the background, a little too willing to watch for any hiccups and provide one-sided emotional support at first sign of difficulty.

A little jealously can motivate you to stay attractive and attentive to your own partner. Too much, and it is overwhelming.

numscul · Answer

jealousy is toxic and can transform into ever other human emotion but more often than not tends to lean towards Spite and anger and resentment towards the source the jealous feelings are found

Jealousy is the cause of most of humanities greatest downfalls and should be kept under control because of the unpredictable actions ad lack of moral control that can manifest in people because it

But it can also be a great motivator for someone to achieve higher than they otherwise would in any other situation without it
But being jealous in a relationship is never a good indication of a healthy loving and trusting relationship that depends on ones trust and stability to survive

hahahmm · Answer

The people who claim jealousy is wrong are the same people who are stringing somebody along & playing games to intentionally push their buttons. Cause if they weren't they'd say that "sometimes I do something stupid and unreasonable that makes my SO a little jealous" -- There's different degrees to jealousy. From low key to setting a house on fire. Obviously the extreme tends to be bad. Unless, what you did was at the 'evil nuclear war level'. For example, if a married person gets caught in the marriage bed cheating, they can't claim that their spouse has zero right to be upset. They'd be wise not to get caught in that situation.

mstbooblover · Answer

We're human, and thus we all have at certain moments felt jealous, often for very silly reasons. In a relationship, showing a bit jealousy is of no real consequence, but in most cases it forces partners to hide and lie for each other, which is never healthy for the mind and the relation. Jealousy is still just a feeling, and thus always genuine, whatever the cause, because we just feel what we feel. The point is being aware of that feeling, and handle it as an adult.

Billlewis · Answer

Even the most intense feelings of jealous frustration and envy can supercharge a woman's relationships with both her boyfriend and the weak beta male wimp who's buying her gifts, spoiling her rotten and kissing her ass. The key is to channel those feelings of frustration and harness them for her own benefit and selfish pleasure.

Gordyshore · Answer

It can be scary. Seeing someone you are close to, or just simply admire being jealous because they feel you weren't seeing them is scary. You could think everything is fine until they explode on you. If they were jealous and just told you that wouldn't be scary. However human nature changes when you become passionate about something. Jealous often times leads to intense rage

Unknown0427 · Answer

Honestly it depends. Some people like having a super jealous partner because it makes them feel protected, but others find it to be an invasion of privacy. A bit of jealousy is perfectly natural unless your in an open relationship, then I would begin to question it.

England4eva · Answer

If he makes me jealous I’m leaving. I know different cultures feel differently and I respect that. But for me, I don’t stick around to be made to feel like I’m last on the list. Spend time with people who feed your confidence. Not those who tear it down.

TransAm85 · Answer

No way. I've been married to a jealous and insecure man for 9 years. It takes a toll on them and also the significant other. They can become possessive and controlling. I didn't spot this in the beginning bc I am not like that. Sure I have my own insecurities, but not to an extent where I take it out on someone else!

melanieeeB · Answer

Yeah a little bit unhurtful but everything above a certain, let's say level, is not good.

For me like him being like oh he didn't really enjoy this guy trying to flirt with me is okay, but an overreacting and controlling behavior is way too much.

KennethNoisewater · Answer

Not unless you are given a reason. Just speaking from my point of view and not necessarily anyone else's, I don't have time for jealousy in a relationship. I do my best to show whoever that they are number one. I'm not a cheater and never have been. I never give a reason to anyone that they should be jealous for any reason. That would be on you.- Maybe you just not ready for anything serious- that's what I would say.

skytatoe · Answer

WIthin limits, it's somewhat normal I think. I don't know if it's healthy per se, but definitely normal. A bit. Can be endearing shows that you care.

But I'd still prefer to avoid jealousy as a whole, its not a nice feeling and it can easily grow and get out of hand, ruin everything.

Massageman · Answer

No.
For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there will be disorder and every vile practice. Ja 3:16If it's a matter of, say, a wife being "jealous" of another lady looking at her husband, she needs to have enough trust in him that his commitment is to his wife, first, last and always.

Aakash_Hangargi · Answer

Jealoisiness a human trait and is normal.

To maintain a good healthy relationship you have to take measures to know how much a person can be made jealous or what's there tolerance level

Its a ticking button you have to know your partner very well and make sure that they are not too much hurt.

Also the person being jealous has to have control on their emotions

Just_call_me_Levi · Answer

Yes, though too much of anything can spoil a good thing...

If it's troubling you, try to find the root of your jealousy. If your partner is the cause, talk about it with them, be open about what about their behavior made you feel this way... If it's because of insecurities, it's best to self-reflect, maybe even seek help, as there maybe something more going on... But definitely don't stay silent about it, don't let it eat you up inside...

Hispanic-Cool-Guy · Answer

I don't think so. If you have a little bit of doubt or insecurity, the problem is that it eventually grows to more doubt, insecurity and jealous with time which they can become extremely toxic in the relationship.

The only time jealousy is appropriate if someone is actively trying to flirt and seduce your man or woman otherwise it's bad.

Pyrofox · Answer

For me it feels really shallow and gives some really bad anxiety as it feels like my other half isn't really invested in the relationship if they are that worried about others. As I have a strict Friend Zoned policy.

Apulu_3 · Answer

Jealousy is natural and a little bit of it is perfectly normal. It shows they love you. But obsession or possessiveness is extremely unhealthy. It means you don't trust that person only.

Cathy7734 · Answer

I think maybe it is in the beginning but after awhile it gets annoying. Whenever I hug anyone my dog goes nuts and tries to get in between us. At first it's cute but after awhile it's annoying.

Gigi2019 · Answer

We all get jealous every now and then. What makes it unhealthy is how long and to what extent it exists.

sissyalexa · Answer

In small amounts I think it shows interest, its only a problem when it starts to change the way you act 😊

OmegaSTC · Answer

You wouldn’t ever call someone jealous if they’re cheated on. If the situation doesn’t justify feelings of betrayal, the there’s no need for jealousy. Jealousy shows a lack of trust and a large amount of personal insecurity

AvaOneLasTime · Answer

Only to some extent. To show that you care. But if it progresses to insecurities, restricting, and over-controlling... It won't end well.

serious · Answer

No, it is totally unhealthy in a relationship and in fact it has the potential to destroy the relationship altogether.

Wester1967 · Answer

As soon as you feel jealous, you should leave. The relationship is already wrecked and it's probably not your fault. Leave your jealousy inducing partner to the streets where they will only be happy.

NathanDavis · Answer

nope... never it doesn't come from a good place... and it does not lead you to a good place either

sheikalana · Answer

A little jealousy is perfectly normal. But being possessive about it and constantly arguing about it is not healthy at all.

Cherry234 · Answer

A little bit is okay and normal. It means you care about your relationship. However, too much isn't good and some people go too far.

Agape93 · Answer

Nope. Jealousy is always toxic, always. One doesn't consume poison in any amounts and consider it healthy.

exitseven · Answer

Some jealousy is healthy. It means that you care. Too much is not.

UniquelyBasic · Answer

Its how you act on that jealousy, whether you can control it for the most part or you flip out.

iamjustaman · Answer

If one feels the need to be jealous in the first place the relationship is not healthy to begin with.

JosyJosy · Answer

Maybe, it can be. Some people won't mind their partner being jealous and would even see it as cute. I don't support it, I don't like feeling jealous.

TheMVPofGaG · Answer

Jealousy results in a lack of trust and communication, so no

weysally · Answer

this is a yes or/and no, it could be but there are dangers if over the top Jealousy,

Daniela1982 · Answer

No, it just divides you. It never draws people closer together but can separate them instead.

princeofromance · Answer

No, it is not. It is always going to be there. It is how you as a person handle it, that will determine whether your relationship will be healthy or not.

Anonymous · Answer

Jealousy in the sense that you see your partners worth. But anything beyond that will be corrosive to the relationship. At least from the women's side. Guys are much more tolerant of jealousy than women are.

annabananna · Answer

We all get jealous at some time in our life. It just depends on how you cope with it that can be bad.

globetrotter22 · Answer

Not to the point of being controlling. That’s actually deep insecurity.

scousejohn90 · Answer

Jealousy is a human emotion but is not healthy at all

johnnygodeep · Answer

As long as it’s my woman of her girlfriend that is deep-throating me and gag/drooling while she holds her hair back for her…

motownplayer2000 · Answer

To a degree. If it gets to a point where you are obsessed and will harm someone than no. But a little can mean you are truly still into someone

anton_dee · Answer

Anything in moderation is healthy and that holds true for jealousy too...

Better_off_here · Answer

a little bit not a lot, i think it can be healthy in the sense that it shows that you still care about them and question their loyalty too but too much is just not good at all.

OddBeMe · Answer

It’s natural. And not worrying about it is healthy.

skyeee_ · Answer

no, it may persuade to complications in the relationship

Waldoe · Answer

Yes, it's how we learn to Trust our partner... and become aware how deep our Love is... otherwise, we are just "Biddies"

Nigjt · Answer

Some is to an extent as long as u can be very careful with it. U have to remember it is a killer. God Bless

nawtee_me · Answer

No, it is a lack of trust and trust is what a relationship is based on. ithout trust you have no relationship...

noohair · Answer

There is a fine line between jealousy and obsession. The male ego is as fragile as an egg. Once cracked, it does not fix well.

innerman · Answer

Jealousy should be like salt. A little be good in your soup but too much will fuck up the meal

crmoore · Answer

At the very least I'd say a small amount isn't unhealthy.

boobliker · Answer

no! not at all you have to learn to live with it and understand it

Uptowngirl88 · Answer

No it's a sign you're insecure and don't trust your mate

legalboxers · Answer

never. Jealously manifests to hate.. which manifests to cheating

Is jealousy healthy in a relationship?

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