I would say yes for probably about 90% of people. That is, more people will follow the "once a cheater, always a cheater" because it's a state of mind, a code of ethics, a belief system and they've shown already that given the option of having sex with someone they want to have sex with, they will take that option over the noble road of being loyal.
I'm a "cheater", but I'm not a bad person. I realized that my sexual drive and desire is overpowering and that I fall in love with people easily, so it makes it really difficult to keep myself from wanting to make love to them. Then when I search my soul to find out if I really am doing the right thing, my soul says back "yes, of course, how could loving someone and showing affection be wrong?" So what I've done is I stopped trying to be monogamous. I just have only open relationships so that it's known from the start I'm not going to be exclusive, or if I am, it's only coincidental. I tried monogamy a lot when I was younger, and I didn't cheat on most of my girlfriends, only a couple times and I was always honest about what I had done afterwards, and it would end the relationship. So now I start relationships with "this might be a possibility in the future".
I do think there are people who cheat once or twice and they are so deeply affected by it that they swear never to do it again and they make good on that. I know the first time I cheated, I was extremely disappointed in myself and it shook me to my core that I was "that type of person". I believed "once a cheater..." but I didn't want it to be true, I wanted to be loyal. I feel I am very loyal and make very intimate bonds with my lovers, but that loyalty doesn't extend to closing off other people. It's more about being loyal to them and loving them through thick and thin, throughout the years, and believing in them and us.
Sex feels good. Intimacy feels good. It feels good to connect with other people, so of course it's naturally going to happen a lot. It does happen a lot and even when it doesn't people are tortured internally wanting it so bad.
Honestly I've seen both sides to this coin people who cheated and felt sick afterwards and never did it again and then those who became serial cheaters so it really goes both ways and unfortunately it's rather difficult to tell which side you're going to land on then again I also almost cheated one time I didn't because I felt really really bad actually nearly threw up and decided not to and then I had to emotionally recover
I want to breaking up with her for the same reason I nearly cheated on her which was her just not having enough time for me ever and no it wasn't one of those oh I'm just trying to make an excuse not to be with you no she was just legitimately busy but I don't want to go into a lot of detail about it cuz I don't want to accidentally disclose who she is
I'll start out by saying, yes people can change but at the same time you cannot change your history.
If someone can undo what they've done, it is totally possible to change.
This applies to anything though, if someone murders someone, even if they never ever do it again, is that considered that they changed or are they forever a murderer? I say they are always a murderer even if they never do it again, because they cannot undo it.
This applies to other things too, rapists, child molesters, even thieves... although thieves for example may be possible (depending what they stole) to undo it or make restitution back so it is like it never happened. That won't work if they stole a heirloom that cannot be replaced but if is something that can be, they can correct what they did.
A cheater, no real way to undo that... that I can think of.
So to me, once someone is ________ even if they never do it again, they are still technically that forever. Yet at the same time they can change and that should NOT be how they are known the rest of their lives, in most cases.
The same can be said for good things though too, if someone does something really good, they are and always will be that... but society tends to remember people by the worst thing they've ever done, not the best thing they've ever done.
I don't believe in the saying, but it's a clear rule that should not be broken. And if you cross that line!!! ... he can prove he changed with someone else
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Anonymous
(36-45)
+1 y
From what I've had happen to me cheating seems like an addiction in a way. A person can be loyal for a long time, but once they give into temptation and cheat, it becomes a situation almost like a serial killer. They did it once, it was exciting, they've already screwed up everything, so they might as well keep going until they get caught. Cheaters will keep doing it because they don't empathize with their partners, and they resent the idea that they can't do what they want. Deep down they feel entitled to cheat.
I don't believe in a "once [something], always [something]" in general whether it's a cheater or an alcoholic or obese. I do think most people fail to change, unfortunately, but it's not impossible. We're also not improving their chances by claiming it's impossible.
That said, I would never want to personally take back a cheater. It's just too much risk. I think they might be able to change in the future but they can make that effort with someone else.
although I have not experienced these situations, I do not agree with that statement, simply because not all cheaters are the same nor all cheating situations were the same... and people can very well change for the better and that's a well known fact
for those who cheat twice though... that changes for me, I don't really think there's a point of return from that
Well I would just say from my personal exp My soon to be ex wife , wants to sleep with as many guys as she can before her body breaks and she gets multiple STDs so yeah pretty much clear answer
And I have also seen a lot of females don't mind using their bodies that way coz they think it's their right to enjoy with their bodies as much as they can or want
I don’t think that necessarily holds true. But if someone chooses to put themselves in situations or are overly flirtatious all the time then temptation is going to win eventually. Some people just like the thrill of it too.
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Anonymous
(30-35)
+1 y
I don't necessarily believe that as a blanket rule. Some people probably fall into that category, and some hopefully learn from their mistake and don't do it again. Personally though, I wouldn't take the chance.
People who were okay with cheating before are going to be okay with it again eventually. It's a personality type thing, cheaters should just stay abstinent.
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