Do I have to settle down with a man in his 30's or can he be within my age range?

[Anonymous]

I like the idea of aging together with him (meeting him as a young man), not getting him when he already slept around in all his 20's and him looking for us once he's in his early to mid 30's.
I woud love to have what my grandparents shared. Both met as young 20 year-olds and are aging together. Similar with my parents. They are only 2 years older (dad was 18 and she was 16 when they met). Is it possible for nowadays for a woman to settle down with a man within her age range and not some 10-12 year-old difference?

Or do I have to give up the idea of finding a family oriented young man and accept that nowadays most men are going to wait till their 30's to get with young women my age? I want someone with in my age range to form a family with.

[MrOracle]

You can absolutely get together with a man close to your own age (probably him being at least 2 years older would be good). However, this means that he's not going to (YET) be as financially secure as an older man typically would, so you're going to have to accept a lower-level lifestyle with him in the beginning. That used to be a normal thing that nearly women understood and were happy to deal with, knowing that things would improve over time. Today, women tend to expect a guy to be able to provide a high lifestyle from Day 1, and that's just not realistic for the vast majority of men in their 20s - which is why most men today tend to not push for serious relationships until they're a little older: they don't want to GET a girl if they don't believe they can KEEP her.

My parents were DIRT POOR when they got married upon his return from Vietnam. My dad was going to college and working nights, and my mom also worked. I was born while my dad was in college, and they lived in a tiny studio apartment where 6 apartments SHARED a single bathroom. This was in the early 1970s, and they shared a single vehicle: a 1953 Chevy pickup, not unlike this one:

Luxuries included things like an Eskimo Pie once a week, if money wasn't too tight. Many of my clothes and toys were hand-me-downs from other college students who had children.

I bought my first house at 26 - a 5-year-old, small 3-bedroom "starter house" in a pretty nice neighborhood, when most of my friends were buying new cars. I took a girl out on a date a couple of years later, and I had to stop by my house to pick something up, and she said something like "your house is so small; I don't think I could live in such a little house". I took her straight home and dropped her off. Lots of girls have that attitude (they deserve the best and won't "settle" for anything less), which is why a lot of guys are reluctant to get serious until they've built up some substantial assets.

[Asker]

We can still built each other up or even better; probably start a business together. I fail to understand that new demanding in more women wanting a wealthy man, expecting him to be successful all by himself... when she can meet him when he's young, not yet succesful but help him, built the building with him and even become successful with him.

[Asker]

He'll probably become successful before his 30's if the woman helps out too instead of expecting him to do it all by himself. Two people working on a project and constructing whatever goal together is better than getting no help at all.

[MrOracle]

You're smarter, more rational, and a more independent thinker than the average woman today - which means in my opinion you're much more likely to be successful.

[CallmeTheKnight]

Yes, you have to be the woman that's worth settling down with and not none of these "Strong Independent women", because they're annoying af and are too lazy to improve themselves.

Sis, your life is in your hands. Don't let frustrated women tell you otherwise. Take your time getting to know a man you're interested and don't be shy to be passionate on topics. Get with someone who treats you as you wish to be Treated and not one of these "bad boys" or "simps", because it'll be a mess.
You love yourself and keep it that way. You want a good quality man around your age, then you have to be a good quality. Even if it takes some time to improve from where you are, you'll find that man.

[Anonymous]

To be fair, not all men in their 30s have been sleeping around. I’m not quite sure why your thought process is to settle for a guy in that age range anyway when you very specifically want someone around your age to grow old with and stuff. I don't know if you’re spiritual or not but I believe god is going to pair you with whomever he believes is your soulmate and sometimes it’s not the exact person we had in mind. So instead of searching for your grandparents love, just go with the flow and see who enters your life. If they’re a good dude then try not to be so judge-y of his past and instead look at the qualities he’s bringing tot he table in present time. Because you can miss a good dude just because he’s not a virgin.

[Asker]

I guess sometimes we don't always get what we asked for. It would be great someone similar to me.

[Opinion Owner]

I definitely think there’s a chance of winding up with someone similar to you, he just may not align with all of your qualifications. Maintaining your standards is important but try and keep them practical as well.

[Apple1996]

You can find a guy that's your age. My hubby is younger than me and we are settled down with a family

[HighValue]

Just because someone is older, that doesn't mean they have slept around/been promiscuous.

Also, if you want someone your age, don't expect them to have a career yet, and they could possibly have to move far away in order to get a good job in the future.

[Asker]

By logic, no one is going to have an established career in their early 20's but I can still meet him when he's a college student on the process of wanting to be successful and help him built himself up. He can't do it all by himself. Two working brains, two people constructing the building is better than one. If the woman helps out too... maybe he can be more successful at a much faster pace, earlier than age 30.
I imagine building a business with him, then give him all my share I've placed on that project (I wouldn't mind by then; the building is contructed by then and I'll be more focused on raising my future children).

[Asker]

I don't get why too many women demand for the contructed building (the wealthy, successful man), instead of working with him from ground zero (meeting him as poor or just a college student) and making the building (build herself up with him) with him.

[SlothySlob]

It's harder because now we have the internet. Finding sex is far easier nowadays than 20 years ago. Your reach isn't your home town or village. You don't have to worry about rejection, you don't have to worry about loosing your chance at a family life. You don't need to go on a fucking road trip just to find a mate.

[Dan4you]

As a young man, I also want a loving partner to age together, have kids etc.

I share that ideal of your grandparents relationship and is also a deep longing of mine. The perfect dream.

However, the sad fact is that there is a range of circunstances that could frustrate this, like personal insecurity, problems, rejection, financial situation or other.

I am 24 and since I was 18 I wanted it.
Sometimes is not a matter of immaturity but preparation and readiness.

[KrakenAttackin]

Not at all. There are plenty of good men on your age range but they won't be as established as older men. Too few women are able to see potential in a man and they only look for what he brings right here and now.

You are absolutely on the right track to spend a great life with a good man.

[alice55]

You can get a man your age and settle down but you'll mostly have to wait 10 to 20 years to find someone willing to settle.

[Asker]

By then, I won't be able to have kids. We can't wait that long.

[alice55]

Then you can get a man older or find a young man willing to settle though that would be quite hard

[Guy13]

I should have…
I wish I had…
gone with my instinct as related to desired relationship…
I’M SO DAMN MISERABLE I CAN’T SEE STRAIGHT

[Anonymous]

Maybe, but if you don't want a guy who slept around with a bunch of women. Then don't date those guys; regardless of age.

[deesee25]

Most marriage don't last that long anyways. The average divorce age is 30. with 50-67% of first marriage ending in divorce anyways its very unlikely you'll age with him anyways

[Pudsmucker]

I like you idea of find your companion close to your age.

[Waldoe]

Hold on to your "standards" you will be rewarded, be patient...

[Anonymous]

It's not easy anymore and a lot of people don't really get what they want. It's still possible if you meet someone like minded.

[fatherocean]

Someone you can trust and be yourself around

[Aphrodite801]

I wish there was a troll emoji so I can post it

[Asker]

I'm asking a question, not a story. I want to settle down and have kids with a man within my age range.