If a guy friend of yours told you his girlfriend/wife was abusing him and showed you bruises what would you think?

[Still-alive]

Beleive him and encourage him to leave her immediately

Don't beleive him yet until i see more proof of what he claims

Beleive him but think he's a wuss for 'complaining' about this. I'd tell him to 'man up.'

Wonder what he must have done or said to her for her to hit him

Go to the police with this information and show pictures of his bruises

I'd call him a liar for making up something so ridiclous

I'd think something else (say what you'd think about this)

Updates

+1 y

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BC1wAQFJJBM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N-HMRIpEAK0

[its_amelia_c]

Be there to support him, listen to him, be there as a friend in whatever way he needs you, to listen and care for him in his need.


But i would not interfere. There are always two sides to a story. You do not know the full story. You do not know the going ons of their relationship. And it could cause trouble if you try and get involved in any way.


Be there and be a good friend and follow his lead. But be careful.

[Fion3il]

thanks for typing my answer for me!

[its_amelia_c]

Xo 😘

[dorksided1]

no different from a woman getting abused, step in and help. watch her face the whole trial she is insane, and you can see she is trying to hold it together and not scream or flip out

[meetkitty123]

They say when someone reports abuse you should always assume they are being truthful and show them support. I would give them the national DV hotline number: 800-799-7233 and send them the website https://www.thehotline.org/?utm_source=google&utm_medium=organic&utm_campaign=domestic_violence I wouldn't advice them to leave the girl at least not yet. This a very delicate time. It is very good to listen and ask them if they want to leave. They are probably going to answer somewhere along the lines as I dont know. Thats when you tell them they can count on you if they decide to leave. Let them know a safty plan needs to be set in place to plan their leaving. The most dangerous time for a DV suffer is after leaving. So they need police to be informed before hand and they need a safe location to go to. They should also have food money and had a chance to collect all the vital records (birth certificate social security cards etc) and identifications. You dont want to have to go back to the house later for this things. If their are pets or kids involved there needs to be a plan set for them too and make certain that all documents for them are collected as well. They can leave these documents with a trust family member or friend. Remember men are less likely to want to "bother" anyone or seak help (I use bother because thats the word mosten would use men dont like appearing weak or being considered an inconvenience). So you must step carefully allowing them to keep their pride intact. For men coming out and admitting dv is extremely difficult. Remind them their actions shows just how strong they truly are. It takes a brave individual to seek help.

[bolverk]

I'd definitely believe him and encourage him to leave, with as much evidence as possible and take all of his important documents with as much cash that he can get together so he will not leave a trail by using a credit/debit card, the biggest problem is that there is no societal support out there for men suffering Domestic Violence there is a blatant double standard in society every DV resource out there automatically assumes that the one being abused is a woman, and if he called the cops it would not be the wife/girlfriend who would be removed from the home even if he is stood there bleeding, as cops are trained to The Duluth Model which automatically assumes that the man is the aggressor
I have a vacation property so I'd take him there so he would nave a safe place to stay and if anyone (wife/girlfriend other friend) came looking for him I'd deny seeing him unless my friend had told me previously he wanted to talk to them, and I would have given him one of my spare cell phones that is preloaded with credit, so he can call family if he needs to from a phone with a blocked ID.
Then find him a decent lawyer/solicitor so he can start to build a case against the wife/girlfriend and approach the police with his lawyer/solicitor to report the abuse with all the evidence he has.

[Kaneki05]

Unless if there is proof otherwise of course I would be on his side and tell him to leave. Plus even if he is lying which if there is proof not so much, but big if what does it matter if I tell him to leave her and he does.
Either way he is leaving her, same outcome. The only rare possibility I can think why such a lie in that situation is he didn't want me to remain friends with her after the break up if I was friends with his partner. Which if I ever found out to be true oh he would be in hospital complaining about some guy who blindsided him ;)
Because lying about someone abusing someone is the same evil as been a abuser to me still just manipulative shit.
If he just asked me can I not be friends with after he wanted to break up with her normally that would be good. Not sure what my answer would be but I know he's honest.

[Dinklex3]

An old friend who turned into an acquaintance then was going through a rough time.
We were all taking gen eds at our CC and he would hang out to wait for his girlfriend to be done with class.
I remember being so pissed, he came to chill with us one day and this guy had a black eye from his girlfriend. I guess she said "say (whatever it was) again and I'll punch you in the face"
He said it and the pyscho literally punched him in the face and gave him a black eye. His face looked terrible. Remembering it makes me nauseous, i was so pissed.
He wouldn't tell us which one she was or what classes she was taking either which just pissed me off even more.
We just encouraged him to leave her.
I'm pretty confrontational. If anyone tried that with a close friend it wouldn't be pretty.

[Losalt]

He *really* should document this and report her.
But I picked "encourage him to leave her" because it's *not* our place to report *his* girl.
That's on him to do.

All you can do is be there for him and support him.
He probably still loves her.
So just packing up and leaving isn't easy.
Do they have kids together?
If so that's even tougher.

If he's not willing to leave her then perhaps you can suggest that he'll demand that she goes to a anger management course since this is *physical* abuse suggesting that anger was involved?

If the abuse is more mental in nature then couples therapy might be a good idea.

With both shared and separate appointments.

[aided_]

A, E and maybe G are the only ones anybody should be going withB has got to be one of the most horrible things you could do to a friend, personally i wouldn't have needed to see the bruises id just take his wordC is just toxic masculinity in it's purest form, where anybody expects him to just get over it cause he's a man and it is just disgusting for anybody to do that D so we're putting the blame on him, it's his fault because there's no chance she's just a shitty person - yes it's possible that he did say or do something but its pathetic that it could be anybody's reaction F needs no explanation for me to convey to an infant how wrong it isI picked A because i know how hard it is to go to the police about that stuff but i think encouraginh him to would be fair enough as well

[whiskeyontherocks]

Definitely start hanging out at his house more often. When people due this it’s not usually in front of others. Offer him a place to stay, there are no Battered mens shelters this is one reason for mens homelessness.
If he has kids especially. No place for him to go with his kids, and the courts usually side with the women.
Most important he needs to have evidence of the abuse document pictures and statements in a email to a lawyer can help protect him if he ever decides to defend himself and she reports it. But he should be reporting it to police so that it’s a office document.

[HighlyVolatile]

I'd just encourage him to leave her although I'm not sure I believe him. It doesn't really matter whether I believe him or not. To believe something, I need very concrete evidence. I won't disbelieve him though. I'll be quite neutral but the best advice I can offer is to leave.

[HighlyVolatile]

I'm a skeptic by nature trying to be as impartial as I can in conflicts. That's even the case if my wife came to me and said someone did something to her. I need to hear both sides. To some people that makes me a faulty friend or lover, but the people who understand this about me tend to appreciate that I don't blindly choose sides in a dispute. That said, I'm still supportive but I can't blindly choose sides. If my friends want my support, they have my support, and I have their back. Yet if they want my judgment, I need to hear both sides, and I need to investigate things for myself.

[Apulu_Imback]

Encourage him to leave her immediately. I know my best friend (male) is very soft for those people he love and I understand it completely. I will support him as I trust him enough that he won't lie me. He gets used my people frequently because of that.

[DarkCarousel]

I have a hunch something is happening like that to my neighbor. Either that or they’re both toxic to each other. I can’t figure it out and I’m not that close with them. Both have said they have too much invested (their home and vehicles) to leave.

[Still-alive]

you neighbor is a guy?

[DarkCarousel]

Yes. He’s really nice but he has a drink in his hand every time I see him. His wife is a condescending snooty woman that thinks she’s better than everyone. There have been police at their house at least 4 times in the past two years for domestic violence. She claims to be a battered woman but I think she’s involved more than she lets on. He had busted lip and black eye.
Something just seems off. When I first met him, he’d always apologize for her snooty behavior. But not in front of her.

[Still-alive]

scandalous smh

[DarkCarousel]

That’s only what I’ve actually observed.

A different neighbor told me that the wife took the husbands drivers license, keys credit cards etc. when he was ordered to stay away from her for a short time. Basically holding him hostage in a hotel because he had no where to go and no way to get around.

But that’s rumor.

[Still-alive]

hmmmm i feel your hunches may all be correct here.

you've never seen him lose his temper or hit anyone or anything in a rage right?

[DarkCarousel]

No way. He walks away when she starts raging and mutters that he just wants to go sit on the beach and go finishing.

He talks A LOT. He’s pretty opinionated but he just talks openly about it and doesn’t seem to try to influence anyone about it.

[Still-alive]

Have you ever seen him angry at all if so how does he express it?

[DarkCarousel]

I’ve only seen him walk away to go do yard work or something. He tries not to engage. He mutters to himself.

[Still-alive]

yeah i feel like you and your neighbors are onto something here hmmm

[DarkCarousel]

I think so too. But I feel like there’s not enough evidence and neither of them appear to want others to intervene.

I like to keep to myself so it’s odd that this has even all come my way.

[Femphile_xoxo]

I would believe him and encourage him to leave her. I'd thank him for trusting me enough to tell me about what's he's facing and encourage him to be the one to choose his next steps rather than making it for him (victims of DV or SV have power stripped from them and it's important that they can regain that control in their lives). I'd help him find a counselor if he wanted to and if he wished to, go to the police.

[Cherry234]

I'd tell him to leave her immediately although I don't know of any friends I have who would put up with that. I'd also encourage him to report the physically abusive girlfriend/wife if he's comfortable with that.

[Кураж]

I'd think there is a lot more to the story, just like there is a lot more to the story with Johnny Depp.
And I would be suspicious of why he is telling me about it in the first place.

[Still-alive]

Why? Maybe he thinks you as a friend would understand.

[Кураж]

I don't see what is there to understand.
You leave a relationship the moment they raise a hand at you the first time.
If you won't, then the issue is probably a lot more complicated, and things like blackmail or fear of retribution are playing a factor.

Either way, I don't think I can be much of help as a third party that is unfamiliar with the truth of the situation and I'm really not the type to give emotional support or relationship advice, to me the solution is straightforward.

[CrazyGirl2]

I would believe my friend, but THAT is what friends do. As for law enforcement, if there is EVIDENCE of abuse then law enforcement needs to do what they do.

[Still-alive]

ok but you wouldn't think any less of him for coming to you with this?

[CrazyGirl2]

NO! Why would I think less of him.

[Still-alive]

just clarifying. not assuming.

we had one girl here say she wouldn't believe him so far smh

[t-8900]

Verify the stories first before acting. Women are statistically more abusive partners and parents then men. so Irs true Then get some female friends to jump her ass and get him a clean exit, help him find another girl.

[NathanDavis]

I would think that's strange... since I know my friends very well, but then I would talk about it with him to see what is exactly going on... instead of assuming or reaching to conclusions of my own

[Squaresquirrel]

I would believe him and ask him to leave her. My brother and also one of my exes were abused, plus I know how girls can be, so I would want him to leave as soon as he can.

[UpdateGloomyNights_]

I actually found out why. In this case, both parties should listen. If necessary, a hidden camera should be placed and the truth should be learned. life taught me not to trust even my father. strange, but my father's sister beat her husband. but no one believed her husband. because he looks very strong. anyway, one of my father's two sisters is beaten by her husband and the younger one is beating her husband.

[LovingLoverReturned]

I'd encourage him to leave but in the process try to Garber evidence in case he needs a to care her to prison for being a psychology like Jodi arias.

[LovingLoverReturned]

Garner

[LovingLoverReturned]

Fuuuuuu
Needs to carry her to prison like psycho

Google correcting my shortcut... psycho= psychopath, OKAY GOOGLE?

[Aerissa_Jade]

Encourage him to go to the police, even if they don't do anything there still a report on file.

[anton_dee]

They will investigate and get to know the truth and provide help accordingly.

[Still-alive]

who? the cops?

[anton_dee]

Yup.

[DonkeyDan]

I'd encourage him to leave her and offer him a place to stay.

[Msputiton]

I would tell him he needs to leave her immediately.

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

Beleive him and encourage him to leave her immediately

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

@Still-alive Men being abused don't report it and end up taking their own life's

[Xtendable]

I would think that his wife might just be abusing him. Plus, I would consider it rare as guys very rarely report about abuse they receive at the hands of their spouse/partner

[Dinosaursandanime65]

Hmmm, not sure. I can see myself doing multiple things but I don’t wanna sound stupid saying the complete opposite of what I’m thinking

[Bubbles16]

I'd believe him and tell him to break up with her before things got worse

[Fromdusktilldawn]

Immediately support and help him with police. And go f*** yourself Amber Heart

[dragoblack]

Give recommendations on what to do to get court valid evidence and to get away from her when he can

[flirtatiousgirl]

I think it's sex fantasy

[Still-alive]

so you would not believe him?

[flirtatiousgirl]

Of course no. I thought its BDSM

[Still-alive]

why wouldn't you believe him?

[flirtatiousgirl]

I had a girlfriend, she was circling each other with her husband. I was surprised when I first found out, but she said she enjoyed it so much. the girl's body was purple. they wanted each other. It's as if animals, not humans, mate i mean

[flirtatiousgirl]

Girl friend like a friend lol

[Still-alive]

ok... but this guy seriously says she's abusing him... you just can't believe him huh?

[flirtatiousgirl]

Nope

[Still-alive]

Pretty shitty..

[flirtatiousgirl]

Why?

[Still-alive]

well think about it... what if you had someone abuse you and you confessed to a friend and they didn't believe you?

[flirtatiousgirl]

As a woman, she must believe because women have little or no muscle strength. but I don't believe it if he's a man

[Still-alive]

Ok so yeah thats shitty….

[flirtatiousgirl]

No not really

[Still-alive]

Lol shitty…

[Squaresquirrel]

It is shitty. A man can have more strength but he is not supposed to hit back. Otherwise he immediately becomes the abuser and it won't matter that the woman was provoking him.
What kind of friend are you if you don't believe your friend?

[slatyb]

I would think he should end the relationship.

[libsaretards]

Tell him get the heck out of there

[SirDerpsalot1901]

I would encourage him to leave.

[TrillXHippy]

A but mainly E