Do you ever feel like it's hard for someone to love you?

[moonpie89]

Yes

No

[DermalPunch]

I know I am very lovable.

People tend to get attached to me very quickly which historically has been very anxiety inducing for me due to issues that I am now starting to really unpack and deal with.

I ride for mine but people are mostly ungrateful and feel because you go 100+ for them that you always do so expecting nothing and taking words that have incongruent actions to go with them.

That you've been acquired and you no longer need to be tended to.

That you will give them prime rib and they can provide crutons in return.

This isn't a man thing. This is a humans are are inclined to ingratitude thing.

What is hard is for people to take responsibility for their BS and do better. When you love hard and back it up with words and action and expect the same, you can feel unlovable because pretty much no one wants to do that so they leave and make you the bad guy because you've made them look at their own ugliness.

How dare you!

Some people are broken and are hard *indeed* to love because they are damaged and their toxic coping mechanisms ruin relationships. They are either in denial, unaware or unable to address it, heal and grow.

[ColHathi]

I'm sorry, but who are you to dictate how a relationship should work? I say how dare you :p

Have you ever heard of unconditional love? I'm gonna steal a line from this article that I just looked up because they are saying it better than I can:

"Unconditional love, simply put, is love without strings attached. It’s love you offer freely.

You don’t base it on what someone does for you in return. You simply love them and want nothing more than their happiness."

Don't expect things in return. That's the wrong reason to do things (in my personal opinion ofc), including starting a relationship with someone. Why would you get in a relationship with someone that you can't accept as a person - at least while in a relationship with you - and then on top of that try to force your ideas of what it means to be in a relationship on them? Seems to me like if they haven't asked for that and they're fine with you and the relationship, and you aren't, then you should be the one to change or get out of the relationship.

[DermalPunch]

@ColHathi Apology accepted. Toodles dearie.

[ColHathi]

Toodles :)

[lilyanony1]

I'm an only child and have only ever known independence. I have lived alone for nearly 11 years.
Travelled on my own too.
My issue is trusting someone enough to lead me.
I find I meet guys that are kind and soft or dominant and forceful. But neither lead the relationship to success. Consequently there's too many issues and I become a play thing.

[lilyanony1]

Thanks for mho x

[DaveJord]

Nah, I think I am pretty awesome. So it is not hard to believe some one would love me, its just hard to find someone to love. I think a lot of people set the bar too high on people and have unrealistic expectation on who they deem to be worthy of their love.

But currently I am doing fine in the love department. So no its not hard to love me, because I think I am realistic about my approach to love. Lots of people are 10's when it comes to relationships and maybe 6's when it comes to physical looks... but those types seem to make the best lovers to me... so they are 8s and 9s to me.

[razelove]

I'm far too blunt, and realize that can make it tough on people around me. I mean, how do you react when someone tells you "I love you, but your love isn't enough, I need more, I need someone else too"

I know it would hurt me if I was told the same. Anyway, there's no one I know how to be other than myself even if it's difficult or painful sometimes.

[Dontcare8927367900]

I recently started noticing why i am hard to love
cause i come across as moody and critical
even if I don’t intend to

and day to day that is a hard ass thing to change about myself since that means i would have to monitor my every social interaction

But nevertheless i am trying

But i think its also my fault
i have perfectionism issue its do it right or dont bother mentality that creates a barrier or resentment for me towards others
so that makes me even more of a pain in the ass

[DaySpring]

They interpret you as intolerant and closed minded? I think you should be proud that you can admit that and then try to change it. Many others tend to go the other way which is the victim mentality. You are very strong.

[Dontcare8927367900]

@DaySpring thanks and yup! I definitely notice if I start to get into victim mindset but have gotten better at catching myself and stopping

[mayur1598]

Its a mixed opinion...
Sometimes you do, sometimes you don't...
It all happens on your mood... If you are happy you will love yourself and people will also love you... But if your day is bad or you are feeling low... People can see you don't have that shine in you and you are unhappy... And nobody like to love someone who is unhappy... So be happy enjoy your self company and people will also love you...

[moonpie89]

I love this 😀

[mayur1598]

Loved what my opinion?

[moonpie89]

Yes lol

[mayur1598]

Ohh... I'm glad you liked it... Thank you!

[Anonymous]

I wonder. I think I’m easy going. I think I am funny. I work hard, I’m smart. Fairly responsible. Keep a job. Not addicted to drugs or alcohol.


I’m not perfect, but I would like to think someone could live with me, if they were reasonable, and I don’t think I’d be particularly annoying. I’m not blasting music at 3am or having screaming fits, I don’t start fights or brawls. Quiet. Responsible.


But none of my relationships have lasted more than three months, and I haven’t had a date in years, let alone a girlfriend, so I have to wonder partly if I really don’t see something horrible about me that I don’t realize.


Granted a lot of it is that I don’t meet many single women around here; and I don’t do a lot of “coed” stuff - that’s a lot of it. But it’s a lot more of a struggle than it should be.

[ObscuredBeyond]

I have a few admirers, but they're all too otherwise preoccupied to make anything work. In youth, I had a devil of a time figuring out who was even worth pursuing, often falling for very unstable women who didn't deserve my time.

There's a lot I want to get done now, before I get too old. Finding a wife is low on that priority list. The good ones got snatched up quickly. The rest? Well, let's just say no man who has any self respect wants to end up with the next Amber Heard.

[serious]

No, I don't waste my time on feelings I know a woman will be lucky to have me in her life and that a woman can love me so much so that I would mean the world to her but it is something I never wish that to happen.

It is irrelevant anyways because I never wish any woman to ever love me. Given how I am as a person.

[FriendlyDrugDealer]

Hmm I used to think that way but over time I realized im not as bad as I thought. I know im not for everyone but it’s about finding someone who is willing to go through life with you. We all deserve love and I hope we all find that special someone that gives us that comfort for our hearts.


Except for flat earth believers, they need tough love first

[Leshen]

Honestly, no I don't. I'm extremely loveable and caring. I have a lot of good qualities. Its just that I don't settle and even if I'm good for someone else that doesn't mean they're good for me. And I'd rather be alone than settle. So that's where I'm at rn.

[megabamse]

Oh yes, that happens. There is lots of traumatic stuff that have happened in my life. I seam collected on the outside, but come closer and there will be moment's where my reactions will be because a situation remind me of some type of trauma, so my reaction will hurt me and/or the ones that triggered it. I tried to go to psychologists about it, but they always end up saying I'm doing well enough to not need psychologists. So i don't really know what to do about it.

[dreamstar72]

I have only 2 real people plus 1 precious dog that actually love me. I’m hard to love because the other people concerned me not real. Long story, but simple story I was in a freak tragic accident and beat the odds. At least my wife saw and sees me as real.

[HoneyButterCup525]

I feel its hard for me have someone to love me, the fact that I do want to get married and not have children.. Just recently I talked to a guy and he said he wants children and I don't, I like him a lot but he doesn't want to be with me cause of this reason. So naturally I feel bad...

[Anonymous]

Probably, not hard for parents tho 😂

But excluding it, it's most likely really hard.
I'm way too quiet and can be seen as cold.
I don't have anything to talk about and often find myself unconsciously avoiding possible conversations and any kind of socialism. I'm a lost cause ;-:

[Opinion Owner]

*my parents

[Andro36]

yes of course. It is never easy for someone to love you or to love someone cause it takes a lot of commitment, sacrifice it is not always funny like we have been taught. If you really love someone you will need to deal with the whole package, the good and the bad and it is never easy

[Lightning8]

I agree. But I think what the question is trying to get at is "do you feel like you are worth loving"

[Lightning8]

Since we accept the idea that it's never quite easy

[IsoUser]

I have a high IQ so I would say that yes mainly because I am somewhat picky in the girl I want to be with. I expect any girl that I with to be intelligent and have a great sense of humor kind of nerdy in that I am a network engineer into Artificial Intelligence an Robotics. In essence just be interesting, intelligent and have a great sense of humor lol

[nawtee_me]

First you have to honestly look at yourself and love yourself. Otherwise you will put up walls and not let anyone in to love you. You can make up all kinds of excuses for why no one loves you. If you are not willing to be honest with yourself then you will keep pushing away those that want to love you because you feel you are not worthy.

[rachel776]

yes yes yes good question. my schedule alone makes me impossible, and then you still have to deal with me. i don't know why anyone would go through all that

[Confidentandchill]

😂 your answer is the best

[rachel776]

@Confidentandchill thank u 💋

[Confidentandchill]

You’re very welcome Rachel

[Anonymous]

No, I just think most women really don't want to put forth any effort unless they see a guarantee upfront based on there bad choices in the past. Problem is I'm NOT going to make an effort with a woman who refuses to show me any effort. So we're at an impasse. 🙂

[Alwayreckles93]

Sadly yes it is hard. I never had luck in love sadly. We are good woman take care of the guy and yet they go out of their way and dump us for much younger woman that can't cook or clean a home.

[Jabberjaw]

No. Overall I'm worth more to a girl than any downside that comes along with dating me. All my exes have positives to say about me and all but one tried to get back together when things ended.

[EmbraceThePain]

Definitely not.


Not to be a narcissist or anything.


I just think I’m a reasonable, chill, and normal person.

[moonpie89]

You definitely seem so chill 😎

[SunnySensei]

Yes miss, I do feel that because, I am not good at communicating or expressing myself and I don't get people unless they speak what's on their mind clearly.