My husband has just befriended his ex on facebook and me and him are not even friends?

[Anonymous]

Me and my husband have been together for 5 years.

He just added his ex on facebook.

They were together loooooong ago, but when me and him got together he was writing her trying to rekindle things.

I don’t like it because I guess he would be jealous if I did the same and he was writing her again before me and him got together.
But also because he was lying to me when we got married. He had a marriage and divorce certificate from X country, he hasn’t actually been married before, but he got it made for X reason. That’s for sure, then when he got married he had to send it in with the other documents. He told me the name was made up and not an actual name. That’s the thing I don’t like because then I found out it was his ex girlfriend in X country.


He doesn’t know I know any of this.

I know the right answer is probably to talk to him. But I am angry, sad, hurt, I can feel my heart beating really hard right now.

I would like to ask her before confronting him to get both sides.

I know it is probably a small thing, maybe I am overreacting. But I have had so much bs in the past with past partners and I can’t take anymore and I thought I could trust this one.

If anything happend I would like to know the truth asap so I don’t waste time.

What do you think I should do?

Could I text her (I don’t have anything against her at all, so it is not the confront her but to ask her if he is trying to chat her up) Or better to not say a thing or to confront him.

Oh and me and him are not even friends on facebook, don’t know why. Doesn’t matter that much to me, or it didn’t but now it does when he is friends with his ex on there but not with me. We have each others picture though with our son on our facebook accounts.

[Finchie40]

You have every right to be concerned and what he is doing is disrespectful and wrong , just like you said how would he feel if you were doing that to him , the fact the he added her on his Facebook is a red flag and disrespectful to your marriage , an ex is an ex for a reason , meaning Exempt then from your life. So honestly you have every right to talk to your husband and confront him as to why he added her and that you feel it’s disrespectful and tell him how would he feel if you did that shit , if he gets all defensive and says you are being insecure tell him it’s nothing to do with insecurities it comes down to respect , if you can’t respect me in this marriage then I sure as hell won’t respect you bottom line , tell him to delete her and end all contact with her if he wants this marriage to grow , if not then start making his plans to move on, One thing I learned about relationships in my life is if someone can’t remove selfishness for you then you can’t remove selfishness for them , just because they might thing what they are doing isn’t a big deal they are also not thinking of how their partner would feel , and that’s why so many relationships fail , because people do not know what it means to remove selfishness for each other , so again you have every right to confront him on this

[Asker]

Thanks, I ended up writing her, she told me everything and she was very nice and he hasn’t done anything wrong. Then i talked to him and cuddled up. He didn’t say much. Then today he got mad at me for something and everything I had bottled up from this came out in a very unhealthy way. I told him to block, he likes to keep a door open, he prefers to have problems with me than to just delete her, etc. I still feeel bad about it, I thought he would delete on his own initiative but he didn’t do much.

[Finchie40]

Then sadly to say , he doesn’t respect you , he wants what’s best for him and that isn’t a healthy relationship , considering he is only thinking of himself , again why most relationships fail , because most people can’t admit to themselves they are wrong , it’s always someone else’s fault , or what they are doing they feel isn’t wrong and play a victim instead of wearing their partners shoes and looking at it from their point of view , when someone has that mind set love will never grow between 2 people , it’s selfishness and most people do not know how to remove selfishness for each other , because we all have selfishness in us , but if you can’t remove your selfishness for your partner when you expect them to remove selfishness for you , the relationship won’t last , Just because we might feel what we are doing isn’t causing harm it doesn’t mean it isn’t causing harm to your partner , , so again what he is doing is selfish and disrespectful, if he truly values you and loves you he would delete his ex and focus on you , it’s a tough cookie to swallow, relationships aren’t easy , so my word advice to you is to value yourself worth and realize you deserve better than being treated like a convenience

[OlderAndWiser]

This may sound somewhat innocuous to some people but I think it could signal the beginning of the end. Have you addressed this with him?

You should NOT insist that he unfriend her. If he does that only because you insist, then you are only postponing the inevitable and he will become more covert in his contact with her. Just tell him your concerns and ask him if he thinks he is being fair to you.

[OlderAndWiser]

Thanks for MHO!

[Adele_26]

I don’t think you’re overreacting. I think (correct me if I’m wrong) you’re also nervous about confronting him based on how you found out. Don’t wait because I can tell that it’s weighing heavy on you, and I’m sorry.

1. He was writing to her trying to rekindle while you two were together. If it’s just for a friendship, meh, that’s up to you on how you feel bc I don't know any of you personally lol. Romantic relationship though? Absolutely not.

2. He lied about his prior marriage. Girl why would ANYONE have a fake marriage and/or a divorce certificate (s).

3. The FB one is difficult. If you don’t care then that’s fine. I just find it strange that you two are married for that long and have a kid but aren’t friends on FB. Does it say he’s married or can an outside perspective tell that y’all are clearly together and married? As in, not separating?

What I would do is to add him on FB, or find a way to somehow bring her name up and connect it to the certificates you found. Don’t sound upset, just curious. See how he reacts. If he immediately gets angry and tries to turn it around on you, that’s a red flag. If he tries to change the subject, that’s another red flag.

The other option is to ask her first. I don’t want to assume, but if he tried rekindling things long ago and it didn’t work, most likely she’s already moved on by now. Can’t say for sure though bc once again, I don’t know any of you personally 😂 GOOD LUCK!!

[COoperativez]

Oh girl I’ve done that. Do not ask her. It will make it so much worse.
I did that and the girl laughed at me and blocked me! Oooo I was hot headed.


He is with you for a reason
She is just trying to get to you mad. And it worked.
If you let this get to you, then it can strain you and your husbands relationship


I would know. I’m a wife of a man with three baby moms
Who would take him back in a heartbeat.
And they do everything to rowl me up. Because for the fact that’s how they will win! To get you out of your chair queen!!!
If you need to talk friend me.

[COoperativez]

Ps each baby mom has one kid. But I got two.
Don’t let these little dots bother you.
(Dot = thot)

[Asker]

I ended up asking her, she was actually nice and said he didn’t flirt or anything like that.

[BigWhiteWolf87]

You're American, Canadian or British right? Your "husband" is from another country, correct? Did he just have you sign off on his citizenship application and/or green card?

Because sooooo many men from 2nd & 3rd world countries become "boyfriends" or "husbands" to desperate low self-esteem / insecure women and use them as a means of getting citizenship before disappearing. The bullshit about his marriage and fake names alone should've been a red flag NEVER to have gotten involved with him.

[HopefulGuy94]

See this is why it is so important not to feel emotional things for someone before marriage. The olds or exes are always in someone's mind all the time making marriages like a pit cannot even be climbed over no matter how hard to be tried. Do not get this personally , just know who u r married to in terms of everything by knowing and trying to learn about her/him and make u sure of them. Otherwise , marriage turns into a sweet-flavoured poison like this. Now what to do , ma'am?

[CallmeTheKnight]

There is too much going on within this 5 year marriage of yours and there is without a doubt a lot running through your mind. Hopefully this isn't as big as you're making out to be, but if you found all that out on your own and he doesn't know, then it's not my place to tell you your best decision. None of us know you and your husband.

[Uptowngirl88]

Ok and? Maybe you should stop being a psycho stalker. He's most likely sick of you being a weird stalker.

[Asker]

Psycho ok

[MagicCarpet1]

Your husband befriended me on facebook, he is secretly gay. You should divorce him.

[Anonymous]

Maybe its nothing and you're overreacting? But what you might want to consider doing is monitoring his FB page for the time being. and see what happens.

[rosey_59]

Why the fucks he adding an ex in the first place? Red flag.

[Emilyis]

It's his EX. They can still be friends.

[cloud9vortex1234]

Your not his friend. Your his wife.

[lightbulb27]

Save for later.

[jimmy2]

Facebook nothing but sorrors

[Danny_dan92]

Yikes 🚩

[Jamie05rhs]

Let me guess: you helped him get a Green Card.

[Asker]

No he had his permanent residence here before he met me. Only I am not American, no green card.

[Jamie05rhs]

Okay, but the whole fake marriage thing is still sketchy as hell.

[Asker]

Well but there was also divorce papers so it is past.

[Jamie05rhs]

But he lied.