I've dated my boyfriend for 6 months now. We are serious and he is moving to a new country leaving his whole life behind for me, so I know he is committed. I don't use social media much (I have the accounts but not the apps on my phone) but I still added him everywhere. On Facebook he still has the pictures with his ex (the two of them, not pics only of her) and none with me. I made a picture of us my profile pic for whatsapp and telegram, but he still hasn't done it. I don't wanna bring this up to him cause it will show that I'm insecure. Do you believe I'm overthinking this or do I have a valid reason to be bothered by it?
You're overthinking
I'd be a little concerned too
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His pictures with his ex are still on his Facebook, but he has none with me after 6 months of relationship?
I have one pic of an ex, by himself on his motorbike. It's a great pic I took and it was a great day and it's a FABULOUS Harley. THAT, I could understand. ONE picture on a public site. But pictures of the TWO of them together and NO pictures of the two of you? Anywhere? Something is wrong. Six months isn't a long time. The fact that he's moving to ANOTHER COUNTRY after only six months is rather shocking in and of itself. How long has it been since he's broken up with this other person? I think there's unfinished business and you need to speak to him. Sounds like you're rushing to visually acknowledge the relationship and he isn't. If his friends and family still see his ex on his social media, it sounds like he hasn't told them he's with someone new and that is living a lie. What other lies is he telling YOU?
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Lol no, I've been to his parents house. I've met his friends. It's not about that. And for any other relationship I might have thought that 6 months was too little, but this time I just know it's the right person
I don't think he knows you've "taken the first step." I'm guessing this issue isn't on his radar. You've even postulated this. Maybe he's forgotten about the pictures. That's why you should ask him.
You mean he has his ex on his profile pic or just somewhere on his profile? First is odd and something you should comment on, second is a whatever for me. I do not really get you, you barely use social media you say and yet you are bothered by this. Personally I will never have a profile pic with myself and my partner (or anyone else for that matter), especially pics with the partner is very cringe to me. So I would say you should not ask for him to put a pic of you two as his profile pic. But tag him in a pic you post and see if he accept this tag. If he does not ask him about it and see what is up. He probably did not think about this at all.
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+1 y
I have already made a picture of us my profile picture on whatsapp and telegram, he has done none. I won't take the first step in facebook as well
Up to you, but I personally rather want to act than sit around and wait for something to happen. Maybe it will never happen. Maybe he only put up those pics of his ex because she asked for it. Who knows. I hope you 'forget' about it soon enough. Good luck.
Talk to my girlfriend, had similar issues. I didn't have pictures up, but they were all over the place. It's called cleaning up the physical and emotional space after prior relationships and being available for next. If he is well disconnected from her then that's good. But is he moved on emotionally? How long was he with her.
I think you'd be well versed to realize you may have battles ahead. It may cause issues to raise this but you should.
I don't want to be projecting my issues onto your scenario, but something doesn't sound right... leaving his world after only 6 months to be with you, but he's got the old world coming with him.
It's cause for concern, at least a little concern, but definitely confront him first before you make up your mind on how to feel about it.
It could be that he just doesn't really spend any time looking at his own profile, he might add new shit, but he doesn't actually look at the whole page long enough to think about totally revamping the whole thing from scratch.
She said he hasn't added pictures with her. That would be new shit. Important new shit. If he'd added her and perhaps FORGOT to remove the old pictures, that would be one thing. But there's no trace of the new girlfriend.
Yeah this is my only concern. If someone adds him on fb now they will think the other girl is his girlfriend because she's the only one in it. No trace of me
He may Be Moving to Be with You to Leave HER Behind But... He still has NOT Moved ON from Her. Wait until he is There. Then approach him. He may NOT be Ready to Explain You just Yet on Social Media. xx
I don't think social media is very important, but. . . what does he have listed about relationship info? Does he mention you on his FB posts?
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+1 y
We have our relationship set but visible only to us. This was also my decision. You're right, social media isn't important. I just feel a little jelly that she gets to be on his wall and I'm not. Pretty immature but I was feeling that way when I posted the question
Sounds more like he also doesn't bother much with social media, where he doesn't pay much attention to updating things.
He may not have cleared out those old pics because he can't be bothered to take the time, and probably hasn't uploaded new pics with you because again, he doesn't see social media as a priority.
I moved countries and married and have a family. I used to post updates and keep the family in touch over a bunch of trivial stuff that nobody would really care about, when you think of it... But now, I only use social media for memes and jokes and stupid crap. I don't often post family or couple pics. It's not that I am trying to hide anything or such. It's just I can't be bothered anymore.
I can say from my own personal experience that if he is really moving to you in a whole other country, you should not be worried. I know how hard this decision is, personally!! This is probably the hardest choice I ever made.
I don't know what your guy is like, but personally I don't know how these gadgets work even. I could have probably made the same "mistake "
I was on Instagram or chatter or something like that with a picture even, and I didn't even know it myself lol. Finally I got into the account (or whatever) and deleted it
I would worry less about his relationship with others like his ex and what they were like and how he interacts/interacted with them and focus more on what makes your relationship special. If what you want to make your relationship special is a lot of Facebook pictures and posts, then focus your energy on that. But do it on your own page, and please don't do it to try and emulate the relationship he had with the person he's no longer with.
Well, is he still updating them? If it's mostly just old stuff and he hasn't added anything (or even not much) since you started dating, that may be why; he may not think of Facebook as something particularly important.
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+1 y
He browses Facebook and has posted about 10 things since we started dating. None about his ex obviously, but yes he does use facebook
Ten in six months doesn't sound like too much, but I don't think a "Hey, this picture we took is really cute; why not put it on your Facebook?" would go awry.
This is why I don't use social media. LOL. This is why!! I think people put wayyyy to much emphasis on it. I always hear people say, "if he doesn't post me on social media, it's not real." If being social media official is your way of gauging if a relationship is real or not... that's a red flag. I'm not talking about you... I just mean in general.
There's lot of reasons why this can be: -Maybe he isn't on social media 24/7 and doesn't pay attention to the images that were posted in the past.
-Maybe he wants to wait a bit more to ensure that you will last. It's embarrassing to be in a relationship, have it end quickly and then having to change your status/remove your pictures because its over.
Those are a few examples... but you really shouldn't care too much. It's social media after all. If he treats you well in real life, you do things together and you enjoy each others company, what's the issue?
It is not irrational. It has nothing to do with being needy or jealous. Supposedly he is your man now, he should be proud to post a pic with the two of you together
But why hasn't he done it? I can't force him. And if I say something and then he posts it, I will feel even worst because it will only be cause he felt like he had to. I see no positive outcome to this
Of course it would bother me, if I'm dating a woman and she doesn't post our picture and she still has her old boyfriend up there, fuck yes I've got a problem with it
So... he's moving to a new COUNTRY for you... but you're getting worked out over a PICTURE. Yeah, makes perfect sense! I mean, why accept a simple reality when you can complicate shit and imagine the worst case scenario? :)
I have physical pictures of women whom I'll miss forever. They were too significant and I'm too sentimental, always have been. Yes, there will always be a painful corner in my heart for each such loss. But that doesn't jeoprodize my wife's absolute solitary reign :) I might still miss them in some way, I might even be sexually attracted to some (sexual attraction isn't an emotion. You jerk off and forget about it, that's all it is). But any of them could pop up suddenly, drop their clothes off and make an indecent proposal, and I'd send them away. Perhaps pity them, perhaps mock them, but nothing would happen that would hurt my wife or disgrace us both. What I mean to say is that having pictures with an ex, or even still feeling something, does not, in no way, mean he's less serious, honest and direct about you. If you feel insecure - talk to him! He's moving to a new fucking country for you, you obviously mean a LOT to him... he wouldn't want you feeling bad, give him a chance to calm you down.
Great, now you got me all nice and emotional and what not, I'll lose my troll card...
I don't want him to forget or delete anything. I want to feel included in his profile as well. I want when people look him up on Facebook they see me in his profile and not just his ex, thats all
I'm not making a big deal out of this. I am aware I'm being irrational over such a little thing, and that's why I won't bring it up to him, cause I think it's silly and immature and won't make me look good
Wanting to be included, to appear on his fb for all to see? Perfectly legitimate! Not saying anything even though you feel this strongly about it? Not the best idea...
My ex (we are still very good friends) was like this. He honestly didn't realise. He's not into sm and prefers to be as private as possible - hello was raised that way, his whole family is the same. I asked him straight up to make it clear we are together and publicly acknowledge me. He did. No problem. It's not insecure to want acknowledgment. This is your relationship expectation and it is reasonable and valid.
If someone is still involved with their ex, I refuse to get involved with them. No exceptions
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+1 y
If relationships don't end badly there's no reason to cut all ties. As long as it's not romantic it's fine. I'm not talking about texting every day, but if any of my exes need anything from me or my family they know they can count on me. And they know I can count on them as well
I don't want him to cut all ties. I don't even want him to delete the pictures. I just feel less important cause I'm not also included in his wall. I don't need him to delete his past, we all want one, I want to know for sure I'm part of his present. But I have many other reasons to be sure of that, so I think I'm just being silly and immature
No one's saying he should delete anything either. The trouble is there are NO PICTURES OF THE TWO OF YOU ANYWHERE. Not even a picture of YOU AT ALL! This is quite worrying. It means you don't exist for his friends or family. I had this happen with someone I dated. I was his person on the side. Invisible to anyone he knew.
I'll always love my X I never left her. Does that mean if she phoned one day and got back with me I would? Of course not. But that time in my life holds great feelings.
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