Why do people date/have a thing with obviously bad choices?

[NZGirl07]

Are there any answers for this in your opinion except for people just wanting sex. My boyfriend's flatmate has only been involved with one girl, who had a fiance at the time (obviously a bad egg as she is a cheater). She's broken up with her fiance and he is seeing her again. She has a low paying job which I don't see this guy being okay with as he has a good wage for his age, she was a cheater and it seems obvious to me she's just a bad choice.

[dynamicyandere]

Most guys don’t care how much money a girl makes—it just doesn’t play a major role in attraction—it’s just irrelevant for most guys.


Now, in terms of her being a cheater and him still wanting to see her…


Either he’s just sexually attracted to her and wants to have fun but nothing serious.


Or, he’s choosing to look past it all and tell himself that she had good enough reasons to cheat and that she won’t cheat on him. With him things will be different. Basically, seeing her with rose-tinted glasses because he doesn’t want to accept the truth about her being a bad egg.


Or, he’s not thinking things through. He just wants to date her and not think too far into the future and not think about consequences. All that he’s concerned about is what feels good in the moment, and running with it.


All three of these reasons are bad reasons to be with her in my opinion. But, I’d say it’s probably one of those three bad reasons.


It’s just a matter of making poor life decisions.

[NZGirl07]

These are all great answers thank you. It's interesting guys don't consider how much girls make very often. I feel like life is so expensive now you need 2 good incomes to even be mildly comfortable financially.

[dynamicyandere]

I’m glad you found the answers helpful. You’re very welcome. :)

Yeah, I get it from a practical standpoint, it makes sense practically and logistically for a girl to make a decent income to pitch in more with bills. But, for that raw magnetic attraction, a girl’s wages doesn’t usually affect that. I guess it’s sorta like guys having broad shoulders and girls having wide hips. Something primal in us is just attracted to different things.

[NZGirl07]

Yeah that's definitely fair enough. I guess basic attraction is quite basic.

[dynamicyandere]

True lol. Basic attraction is basic. People need to let their values and priorities guide them and not their penis.

[IJhonnyI]

Listen that's a question I'm still trying to figure out not for myself but for other people it surprises me how naive people can be at times and I've had plenty of female 10s come my way but I know the way they move so out of respect fo myself I ended up rejected them did I regret it a little tiny bit so yes I did get with them but I never dated them because I know where it would lead it would lead to me giving my 100% and them the female not even giving me 20% and I would give them trust and they would break it long story short I try to help people with that problem but they just seem too by pass all the red flags and I just gave up 😂

[NZGirl07]

I know right. I see so many people on here talking about their extremely toxic partner and refusing to end it. I get in abusive relationships the other partner can ruin your self esteem and stop you from leaving, but many people seem to be aware of their partner's bad behaviour and not leave. In the case of this guy, I just see it as a bad idea.

[IJhonnyI]

Yep on the same page as you 👍🏼🤝🏼

[NZGirl07]

Indeed ✋

[IJhonnyI]

✋*high fives*

[WhitneySnow]

A lot of people fall for just looks

[NZGirl07]

True, she isn't what I consider generally attractive though.

[WhitneySnow]

Maybe he likes the sex? Some people can be good at sex without being super hot

[NZGirl07]

Yeah that's true for sure.

[WhitneySnow]

Have you told him how you feel about her?

[NZGirl07]

The thing is we aren't super close, he is more my boyfriend's friend than mine, so me saying anything would be really out of place and strange. We are all moving in together so I'm sure he would hate me after that haha.

[WhitneySnow]

Probably best not to say anything then

[jahaims]

Stupidity