Do you think people with children are always scared to get a divorce even if their relationship doesn't satisfy them anymore?

[Anonymous]

[WhereIsMyMind]

Depends, some people are 'selfish' I suppose, whilst others would be hesitant to leave the relationship because of the children I'm sure.

I don't think it's wrong to want to leave if you are no longer satisfied in the relationship. AS LONG as they are still facing up to their parental responsibilities, not just leaving their family in the lurch!

Personally I was fine with my parents splitting up, it meant me and my brother no longer had to watch my mum and dad's drunken fights all the time. A lot of mistakes were made, but ultimately I think that splitting up is best for the kid (s) 9 times out of 10.

Staying in an unhealthy marriage is not setting a good example to children, they tend to be very intuitive and they can tell if something is up. Not healthy. Don't teach them to stay in shitty situations if they don't have to.

[Shehnaz]

No, people with children have this as the first thing on their tongue ( to sound unselfesh) but It is the last thing on their mind. The top priorities considered before divorce are: who do they have as an alternative partner?
How financially independent they person are? Would they have family support or not? Is there source of earning stable? How much would be the alimony? Etc. They would keep crying "for children's sake" but would finally contribute to the growing number of divorces amongst parents as soon as their personal priorities are in place

[TheoPfeifle]

I was scared, because I knew, deep down, that she would do everything she could to alienate me from our children. After staying with her for another 7 years, for the children, I finally came to the conclusion that it was better for me to leave. The children would be better off with two happy homes than one miserable one. The children have one home, because my worst fears have been realized.

[Daniela1982]

Didn't you have a lawyer?

[TheoPfeifle]

Yes... It's a very long and complicated story. I've actually been diagnosed with PTSD over the whole situation. Without going into too many details... I'll just say that there's a reason that the father's rights movement exists, and there's a reason they call the tactic my ex-wife used the silver bullet. I had to make some very hard decisions, and put things in God's hands.

[mobiusforniner]

I wouldn't say scared. Its more about what your priorities are. I love my kids and made a promise to my wife. Thats worth more than my happiness. Sounds shitty, but thats what it is. Ironically kids are part of the reason relationships dissolve because things are always changing and priorities for yourseld and your spouse quickly disappear...

[EarthRealm]

You don’t love yourself and would rather be in pain than be in a better mental state.

[mobiusforniner]

@EarthRealm i didn't say i dont love myself... but is my happiness worth more than kids without a dad in their life, or wife without a husband? Life is more than me, me, me. If more people put aside the "whats in it for me" attitude, this world will be a lot better

[EarthRealm]

You can move into your own place and still be in your own kids life and be there for the kids and the wife.
But this whole you acting like your a good person because your in pain and staying in a painful relationship makes you the opposite of a good person.

Makes you a real shitty person. Learn to have balance in your life so you can be happy and make your kids and wife happy as well.

[EarthRealm]

You don’t have to say it.
You just have to have to be an abusive dick to yourself by putting yourself through that shit.

[mobiusforniner]

@EarthRealm you quite obviously dont know the meaning of love and sacrifice. Have kids of your own, then offer your opinion. Otherwise its like spending your life on microsoft flight simulator and telling a fighter pilot how to fly a plane...

[EarthRealm]

Actually I Am at peace and am not in pain.
I only watch tv ounce or twice a day for maybe 20 minutes.
Also I prefer not having kids because I know life isn’t a Joke. Life is very very real and dangerous and I would never create something that will experience the pain and dangers of this world

[EarthRealm]

And I would never do that because I’m not an evil dick

[mobiusforniner]

@EarthRealm Is that what jesus would do? Seems by your definition, jesus was a shitty person and a dick to himself

[EarthRealm]

But you are
You created life knowing the very real pain and the very real and painful and scary shit that life can go through.

[EarthRealm]

The Bible is most evil book to ever exist. Let’s not speak of such evil

[mobiusforniner]

@EarthRealm im not following you buddy, but sure... have a good night. Been up since 4am, tired as hell, but gonna read books to my kids for bedtime, because you know, thats what a shitty person does...

[EarthRealm]

Actually Quite the opposite
Reading books to kids is good and if they themselves start liking books and it becomes there favorite thing to do. It can teach them everything they need to know about life and it’s treacherous dangers and how to live a good life without getting mixed in with self deception and other bad Shit.
But hey you had me all figured out huh 😃

[EarthRealm]

I don’t care if you don’t follow me Do you think I’m following you is that why you felt the need to say that? Cause I’m not we may be following similar users
Since we tend to go to the same post. Or maybe that’s just the way the app is designed.

[mobiusforniner]

@EarthRealm its a figure of speech, im not following you as in "I dont get what you're saying". Im a technologically challenged 35 year old and dont get all the terms used today. Haha but thanks dude have a good one. See you around the GAG

[EarthRealm]

Ya see you around bro.

[sacrifices]

@EarthRealm

GOD decides when people are born did you know that

[EarthRealm]

Whatever believe whatever you want.

[sacrifices]

@EarthRealm

no thats reality

you probably do not even know what the sky is made of

[Reaper1985]

my own parents stayed married but got a legal separation and started living apart when my siblings and I were young. because they no longer loved each other and they only got divorced once my siblings and I were all adults. they did try marriage concealing for a while over the years but it didn't help them fix their relationship.

[genericname85]

i don't think "scared" is the right word. i think people tend to wanna raise children properly and that can only work if you show them how to live properly. and most people do not consider divorce to be "the proper way of living" that they wanna display to their children. i think parents would put their own needs behind the needs of their children.

[PatriceONeal]

Scared? No. Of theybdo stick together they respect the child over themselves which is what youbwould want a society to do. It's not the child's fault 2 people created then before falling in love or committing to eachother. Parents that separate early are selfish or ill prepared. Either way, they are tjr ones at fault and the child is innocent.

[Emiliamazing]

Sacrifices are often made to stay together for the children, but temporary band aids often fail if permanent solutions and happiness are not sought out

[RealMarek]

Not always. Some people don’t think things through very much. But if kids are part of the picture there should be an absolutely compelling reason for divorce like abuse or cheating.

[Aaditya-Jain]

That is a big YES , couples don't divorce even when they aren't happy especially if they are from a gud family background, they think divorce will put a bad impact on child... that's true 👍🏻

[maximumpower]

"reluctant" may be better term.
it's important that partners - esp. those with children - let each other know when the relationship is in jeopardy and then commit to taking steps to save it. the entire dynamic changes once children enter the picture.
just b/c someone CAN be a parent doesn't mean they SHOULD.

[DermalPunch]

Yes, of course. The guilt is crippling and the uncertainty dehabilitating.

[altaboy]

Always is a very long time, but it would definitely affect my decision. It wouldn't be fear that motivated me, but rather a sense of responsibility.

[HighlyVolatile]

I don't like the word, "scared" here. I wanna distinguish it from words like "responsibility" and "goodness".

[Jamesshinobi]

Divorce is the only thing that gets less affordable the more you have.

[crossdressingrihno]

At least with men I'd say most of the time they would be absolutely horrified

[prosmind]

Correct with most of the people. Even if spouses are in terrible relations, they have to suffer because of children. It's true in most of the traditionalist societies.

[Rebecka33]

No as my parents divorced when I was 2 I think finding love is more important

[AssholeNumberOne]

That's a pretty good reason to be scared. At least they care about their kids

[ruhab]

Yes. Because they would have more responsibilities being a single parent.

[KrakenAttackin]

The men are, the women have no problem filing for divorce. This is the fundamentally selfish nature of women.

[Anonymous]

Yes and it also effects the children as well

[ChrisMaster69]

Nope not always

[Nads111]

Yes...

[SeekingVirginWife]

Only stupid people get a divorce.

[EarthRealm]

And only Stupid people sign a Legal contract called marriage.

[Asker]

@EarthRealm True