Would you stay in a relationship with someone you knew had your parental figures good and unhealthy traits?

[Anonymous]

Edit of OG post: Parental figures are not just your real parents but a person who had a huge influence on you as a father figure and mother figure.

If you said yes:
Would you try to build them up or would you find difficulty in supporting them due to unresolved issues with your parental figures?

If this was your current or past partner:
What was you experience with your partner? Where you able to work through those issues?

If you said no:
Have you found a partner that does meet your needs and does not have any of your parental figures traits or They do have some thier good traits just not the unhealthy ones?

[Nawlins34]

Stay? I wouldn't "Start" one. For both of my parents, while the good are special to me, the bad outweighed the good.

I intentionally don't befriend people with those negative traits.

[Asker]

What if you met her and she was great and had all those good traits and then after falling for her you guys argue and slowly the bad traits start showing. If they proved they could work on it would you stay?

[Nawlins34]

Good question - No.

My reasoning

1.) If they possessed what they need to "work on it" to begin with, we'd have never made it to that point. An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.

2.) I need to take a step back and review my approach because how much of it was "slowly the bad traits start showing" vs. "me ignoring/not noticing them"? I missed SOMETHING.

3.) I value consistency and I would have made sure she was aware of that before starting with me. I want to be clear, the "honeymoon" phase and we're really getting to know each other? I'm not worried about that. No one is perfect

But bringing it back to what you said, "bad" traits - Nah, I'd end it.
I value my time.

If they want to "work on it", do it as a single person when the change is long-lasting because the reason you're doing it is for yourself, not to maintain a relationship.

[Jamie05rhs]

Absolutely not. I would never marry a woman who is like my mom. I would rather kill myself.

[Jamie05rhs]

And no, I have not found a good partner.

[LazerBean]

Everyone has unhealthy habits, but a lot/very bad traits is a no. And yes, I married into a very good family.