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My boyfriend got me a really plain engagement ring. Is it something I should bring up to him? (Page 2)
Anonymous
(30-35) 
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If you are concerned about the price of your ring you shouldn't be getting married to anyone. The main concern from many guys when considering marriage is that the woman prioritizes money over him.
Maybe go with a Cubic Zircon stone instead so you could have a larger one for looks and not based on price. Suggest that to him.
If a woman requests a more expensive ring, that is a sign the man should immediately call of the wedding and leave her. He really should have a prenuptial agreement, just like all men should insist on.
That doesn't look cheap at all... its understated but very classy and pretty in my opinion.
I dint think the price is important with a ring... I think it's the thought and reflection of your character through the thing that is chosen is what counts.
Id be very happy with that ring, as my special partner chose it for me.
It doesn't look like an engagement ring to me... is it really all that he can afford? If that's the case then you need to accept it if you want to be with him. My mum got an "engagement" ring about 20 years after her wedding because my parents were poor. They're still together, over 40 years already. So it just depends if he got you that because that was all her could afford or if it's because he doesn't value you like a man should a woman he's planning to marry. The fact he said "that's why I'm with you" to you saying you're not picky about the ring tells me it might be the latter... personally I do think it's ok to bring it up unless he's poor. You should be honest with him and not hide resentment that will resurface eventually anyways. If your relationship can't survive that, it's best to know now than later. It's one thing to not be picky about how the ring looks but it should still be an engagement ring and this one clearly isn't. I'm surprised it costed that much to be honest.
It's a engagement it isn't even the wedding ring. She said that she was not picky... She is just ungrateful. What about if she wants another ring she can take her ass to the store and buy a new one!
Her boyfriend isn't Walmart or Kay Jewelers
@Whatever2929292 That's your opinion, mine is different.
What did I even say that was wrong?
She isn't entitled to his money. Do you know how much a wedding ring costs? The cost of the wedding? etc etc. The honeymoon...
She is free to buy herself a new ring or go find a sugar daddy.
@Whatever2929292 I have my opinion on this topic and you have yours. Find a girl who agrees with you, not everyone has to :) You and me are not getting engaged anytime soon so I don't understand what you're coming at me for lol
You're right about that. My point is though that you are telling her that she is entitled and maybe you should give her the advice that maybe she should not be with someone who sees eye to eye.
How would you like it if a guy told you that he was not picky and you spent 400 something dollars on him just for him to bitch about every little thing?
If you want a suggar daddy then go get one lady. But be clear that is what you are looking for and don't waste people's time who are looking for something real
If all that matters in a relationship is material objects then you don't have much going at all. As I said before she is free to go to Kay jewelers to pick out a new one.
But the point you made about not getting engaged is really what she should know.
Most men don't want gold diggers!
@Whatever2929292 You can give her whatever advice YOU want and similarly, I can give her advice from my own perspective. I'm not denying you that right so why are you commenting under my post as if your opinion is somehow more valid? It seems like a simple concept, at least to me. She asks a question on a public forum from both guys and girls and she gets a variety of answers from people of different ages and backgrounds. Same with any other question asked on this site, people are going to have different opinions based largely on their cultural upbringing and life experience. You're welcome to disagree with mine which you expressed and that's where it should end.
You're right and I was not even saying you were wrong and you agree with me... So... I don't see the problem. I did give a answer and you're right about this being a public forum I comment sometimes.
I just have a problem with the fact she said she was not picky... Then she felt entitled to a more expensive ring
@Whatever2929292 I don't think the price was the real issue... she had a problem with it before she checked the price and as I said, I'm very surprised this ring cost that much. I think the guy got ripped off. It's about how the ring actually looks and it is NOT an engagement ring. It's the type of ring my group of friends would get for one of us for her birthday and it'd cost around $100-150. I'd be disappointed too unless I the guy was poor which I'd accept by that stage. I don't see what's so controversial about showing a woman you supposedly want to spend your entire life with that you value her. It doesn't have to be a huge cost but it should mean something.
As I said before... You're right about COMMUNICTION. Not coming online to bitch about it... As well as not saying she was picky and telling him she don't like it.
It's just a engagement ring anyways... Not the actual wedding ring.
There are other ways to show someone you value them other then material objects... You buy something for someone to be nice. You don't even technically HAVE to buy a engagement ring. I think it's wrong to put how much you value someone only in material objects.
Who knows me might not really have a lot of money. As I said before she can always buy her own stuff as well.
So you think that a material object should be how you tell someone you value them? Then the both of you need to find a sugar daddy. Be clear that is what you want. Personally if I had the money I would try and get something nice but. Not that anyone is entitled either
@Whatever2929292 well, yes. Not giving an engagement ring is also an option. But if you do end up getting a ring it should in theory last her entire lifetime. So if it's cheap it might be of poor quality and will not last. You can always agree with your partner that instead of getting the ring you will spend that money on house or wedding or whatever else. That being said, men who plan on getting married and therefore in most cases having a family should have financial security that will allow them to get a proper engagement ring. Wedding rings are pretty plain and those you chose both with your future wife and probably pay for them together. An engagement ring is a gift and should express your feelings. It doesn't need to be overly expensive but if it looks like it comes from a vending machine then that just shows the kind of person you are. It should look like an engagement ring.
@Whatever2929292 Also, don't insult me. You're way out of line.
Okay if you can't make your own money get a sugar daddy. Not your job to just suck off of a hard working man wanting a REAL relationship I am not judging them just be straightforward.
You aren't entitled to anything more and your love for someone isn't materialistic
You also talk about a man not having financial security number one you said he might be poor... You said you are fine with that... What kind of money is she making if she can't even buy a ring for her own self.
Again want a sugar daddy just be clear that is what you're wanting... Don't waste someone's time
A material object does not show what kind of person you are. If she wants a new ring she can go buy her own OR pick one she likes.
Speaking of vending machines he isn't a vending machine. Your arguments were pretty decent at first and I even agreed with you and then when I agreed with you you backtracked on everything you just said.
What you want is a sugar daddy and so does she
@Whatever2929292 guy you sound so F broke n bitter, you work at Walmart? I’m average in my city and gonna do 3month salary thing. And it’s the ENGAGEMENT ring not the WEDDING ring the one with the 🪨 you pleb
That's the problem with being low maintenance. People literally bring you trash. I remember one time I helped a friend organise a party and politely declined when in the middle of work she offered me tacos. I said I'd eat later. There was only one left by the time I got to it 😔
Anyway, be upfront about your problem. Many men here respect women who speak their mind. You're going to start a new life with him aren't you? Start it with truth. Don't be necessarily rude, but don't keep the ring either to "spare his feelings".
Even my birthday ring given by a distant relative is bigger than the one you have
If he can't afford a ring, I'll tell you he can't afford a marriage either 😂😂😂😂
The question you really need to ask is are you are you marrying the person, or the ring? A reasonable person would be aware of his financial status and ability to wow you with a ring because of the ring itself versus wow you with a ring because he picks you to spend the rest of his life with. The ring itself is a symbol, but it could be made of aluminum foil and still be a powerful message of love respect trust and desire. This brings me back to the original question: are you marrying the ring, or the person who gave it to you? If the latter, the ring itself doesn’t matter.
To me it sounds like you're unappreciative. The main point of a proposal is the promise of marriage, not what type of ring he will give you. A piece of rock on a metal ring that will be placed on your ring finger for less than 10 years before a divorce isn't worthy (describing modern marriages). Back in the days, the rings would cost less than a hundred bucks, and couples would be married for the rest of their lives. They would of course upgrade the ring after they become more financially stable, but if you are in the early stages of your marital life and you're complaining about the ring, then to me it sounds like you don't have your priorities sorted. Be happy instead that you are getting married.
Come on man hat ring is beautiful.
Imagine if you were in his shoes buying a ring. You wanna show your someone how much you love them but don't have the money for a fancy-ass ring. You get a simpler one, thinking "the love is what matters most". You give the ring, then that person questions your love for them all because you didn't spend all your hard earned money. Fuckin' ouch. Rings are material things, while love is from the heart. Love doesn't have a dollar sign and it should always be that way.
*that, not hat. Dumb typo
I know what you are saying. You don't want a fake ring from one of those vending machines for kids that you see at chuckie cheese.
To me, that ring looks helluva cheap. I can personally buy a better ring for myself as a single person. But it really depends on how much he makes. If you married a very poor man then you can't expect an extravagant ring right? You need to understand what you are getting into.
But another thing to keep in mind is that there is a distinct difference between being "cheap" and being poor. There are some people who are very stingy and refuse to spend their money even if they have a lot of money. Just make sure your man is not this type of man.
"Only" $450? That makes you sound pretty mercenary.
It's an engagement ring. Many people give simple gold bands. I think yours is really pretty.
Why are you more worried about the size and cost of the "engagement" ring instead of being over the moon for the fact that the wonderful man loves you asked you to marry him? How disappointing. Sad.
The wedding ring is the one that you should help to pick out, Lady Di. Go ahead and spend the down payment for your house on a ring instead. And are you going to give him one of equal value?
That ring cost $450? Yikes!
@XXblack88 That's because he had to buy $450 worth of Cracker Jacks to find it.
Personally I think that is a very beautiful ring, it's nice and dainty. If I were you I wouldn't bring it up, it sounds ungrateful and if you really wanted a ring with a big stone you should have said rather than told him that you didn't mind.
I feel like media has shapped engagements into something fake. I would prefer a smaller ring anyway something thoughtful. I think it's stupid to spend thousands of dollars on a ring. I'd rather make memories go on vacation whatnot. That's my 2 sense on it lol. I know there's others that feel the same way but it's far and few between. Ring is just an accessory the love you have between the 2 of you is priceless
Yea if she says she ain't picky he can't read her mind and know this isn't the ring for her
It just looks like a birthstone ring it definitely doesn't look at all like an engagement ring. I have a ring I bought for my ex-fiance and it has five diamonds the middle diamond is.5 carat, the next two diamonds on either side of the middle diamond step down and are about.2 of a carat and then it steps down to the final two diamonds on either side of the.2 carat diamonds which are.15 carat diamonds all of which are brilliant cut, clear and of excellent color. The wedding band has 7 small single cut diamonds in a row about the width of the engagement ring diamonds. You deserve rings like these.
She isn't entitled number one... It is also a engagement ring not a wedding ring anyways. She can buy her own ring if he wants to. Whichever she wants
So who got the ring in the end? That is why some guys don't buy expensive engagement rings. When they break up she usually will keep it, so it's money in the crapper for him.
@Daniela1982 you're right. I mean I don't see anything wrong with keeping a gift that someone gave you though... I mean he did give it.
I just can't stand entitled people and people who say stuff like "I ain't picky" and then are picky. He can't read her mind and know what she is wanting... LOL.
It is like people who say a thousand times "I am ready when you are"... Trying to rush you... Then you are not ready when I am you're ready WAYYYYYYYYY before I am... Use your words
@Daniela1982 I mean if she really has a problem with it she should go bring it up to him and not strangers online or go buy another ring.
@Daniela1982 I will say this though. When you give someone something that belongs to them
@Whatever2929292 Good thing I never gave it to her then, right. My investment continues to grow in value and as it was a custom ring I designed using the diamonds from my dearly departed Mother's rings it didn't cost me much and I've had several jewelers enquire about purchasing the set.
That's so romantic. ❤️ :) Hope you find the one who will wear it with grace. ❤️
@Whatever2929292
They might not have a traditional wedding so her ring could be a wedding ring too. This is how my husband and I approached it we didn't see the point of have two rings. I get why people do it we just didn't care.
@Daniela1982
She didn't exactly say she wanted a expensive ring, you can get a large sapphire engagement ring for $300 on Etsy.
For a different discussion, one of the biggest reasons why rings in general were so expensively bought from the fiance was for financial security. The ring is also a representation that a man could provide for a future for thier life and future children.
If they ever were to be burdened for money they could sale the wedding ring and but still keep the engagement ring so there knew she was taken and had a commitment already. Which is why men's bands are so plain unless of course he was a king or man of high value money wise.
@JustAnj thanks! I hope you do too! You're right about that. But I really think that you get it because you love the person. Not to enable a gold digger (sorry that I am so blunt sometimes).
I can't stand a entitled woman as well as the fact her lack of communication saying that she isn't picky... Then verbally tearing apart the ring.
Even if it is both the engagement and wedding ring he is not REQUIRED to buy her anything.
A woman who appreciates me and isn't on one extreme or the other. Meaning she does not feel entitled to me doing nice things but also isn't offended and is really thankful or grateful and even feels a bit bad when I go out of my way to be nice as well as returns the favor I do things for more often.
Now I don't do nice things to force someone to owe me something either. But you get my point. As long as she is grateful. But someone like this I would really not want to do shit for.
@Daniela1982 another thing is some folks simply don't have the money to buy some extravagant ring especially not in this economy. IF she does not like it she is free to go and get a new one herself at Kay Jewelers.
You aren't with someone for the ring they buy you or a gift. That is all just bonus. You should be with someone because you love them as well as communicate. If she don't like it then she should bring this up to her fiancé in a RESPECTFUL and loving way.
Not come on here and bitch about it and have a bunch of SIMPS, white knights, and gold diggers defending her.
I don't just mean that because they are defending someone I defend people if I feel it's right. But they know what they are doing.
@Whatever2929292
I understand what your saying but you should remove yourself from the equation and see the reality of the situation.
She obviously feels bad is put in a situation she was not expecting to feel, then she acknowledges she actually does care and is picky.
Some of us fail to understand our feelings until we have an experience she shouldn't be judged for being human and making a mistake.
She realizes she would be lying to the man she loves if she did not speak up but is feeling unsure because she feels she might hurt him or cause him to see her in a different light.
That that right there is very good because lying HUGE No no in relationships. Partners should never lie to avoid confrontation because it leads to miscommunication, unresolved issues, resent, lack of respect and responsibility.
Communication is very important and this will show if they are capable of having empathy towards each other and truly love one another no matter if issues or change arise. You want your partner to be comfortable being themselves and want them to be happy.
The fact that she came here to ask tells you how much she values her relationship but also herself. The same you would if you needed consulting.
It is very important to be yourself in a relationship to allow it to grow and if she just wants reassurance to make the right move which is being honest what's wrong with that?
@JustAnj you're right and I do personally think that she should bring it up. It was just more of the way that it was written that bothers me and asking if it looks cheap.
Yes if she has a problem she should say something. I had more of a problem with some of the answers to the question then I did the question it's self.
You're right even a "white lie" is a HUGE NO!!! Even if the truth hurts (not to ever be mean about it) you can't just lie about stuff otherwise it causes more problems such as if you say you like something and you don't they will keep getting it doing it etc.
But you're right communication is key. If she does not like it she should communicate but also be willing to chip her own money in if needed.
She said she was not picky... He can't read her mind and know she won't like something and can't read her mind knowing she don't like it.
@JustAnj I do agree with you on that. I think she does value the relationship. And should talk to him about it. Like this answer here that I originally replied to... I take issue with some of it. But that does not reflect he asker and I am sorry if it came off like that
@Whatever2929292
Exactly 100% agree
@JustAnj thanks. You have a blessed day
@Whatever2929292
No problem :)
@Whatever2929292
You as well, have a blessed day. ❤️
@JustAnj you have a blessed day too! thanks so much
I think its important to discuss your household finances as a team now ahead of time. If you want him to spend more on the ring - which I agree - important to find one you love - discuss together what you want to put on hold as a team on the flip side - do you want to delay the engagement ring purchase date? House purchase date instead to spend more on the ring? Or delay vacation fund? As long as you both agree on most optimal path that maximizes your household finances as a team is the most important thing.
I think its perfectly reasonably you want a ring you love - perhaps you pick out the ring together - and the timing is up to him to surprise you with!
It does look cheap (rather expensive to be so simple) I could get that for $80 at other boutiques
However, pay attention mostly to what your boyfriend can afford. Does he have the income for a $2,000-10,000 ring? If he doesn't, I wouldn't stress as you can always upgrade later.
If he's cheaping out, typically those men aren't that in love with you, they just enjoy having a warm body around (even if it is an engagement ring). Going cheap is equivalent to being settled for. They like you but dont think you're worth the best that they can get. This can also play out in delayed milestones, dragging their feet, not spending much time with you, downplaying holidays/birthdays, little to no sex, controlling behaviors, annoyed with you often etc. Cheap falls in the same category.
If you say you don’t like it, you’re going to hurt his feelings. Is the price of the ring that important anyway? Maybe $450 is all he can afford. Or maybe he could afford more, but the next step up in price was out of his budget. You didn’t really give him any hints either. You said, “I’m not picky.” According to my husband, when you said that, what he heard was, “I’ll be happy with whatever ring you give me.” And I think it’s a pretty ring.
exactly
My fiancee is happy with the one I got her, very happy even, and it didn't cost me but $200. Price doesn't matter, but the connection to it does. That being said, you are probably being a little bit ridiculous. y'all are young, right? If so, he probably doesn't have the money for a really nice ring. It's wild to me how much women equate the price of the ring to the value of his love.
No. He should bring it up with you that you're not marriage material.
This fucking about over rings needs to stop. You're marrying a potential partner and would rather have that cash. Than wasting it on something you're never going to wear much.
Completely agree
At the end of our vacation stay, we stopped by a Tiffany to look and try on rings. It was good to see myself what diamond cut she liked the most. Then you get into the carat detail, which is always fun.
I feel like if you give the answer of not being picky and don't somehow work the idea of giving hints on the type of ring you like, you let him become too open with options. You can bring it up, there is always something like the 30 day guarantee at most places, even Tiffany offers that. Can totally turn it into a shop together event.
Most of us won't even get proposed marriage anymore and instead get stuck at just his girlfriend or he lies about wanting marriage, leaving us childless... and you're here complaining about the engagement ring?
If I got proposed (regardless of how cheap the ring is), I would be happy just the fact that he's opening his gate already and seeing me as his wife. If I were you, I would be greatful he's giving me marriage, what many men don't give anymore.
But your not her, let her grow into herself and her relationship.
And why the hell would you want a guy who just keeps you on the side. Girl wake up there is still guys who want marriage you just gotta do you work on yourself and value yourself. Stay away from guys who keep you just as an option and who do not have plans to marry.
If you just want a guy to marry you please look into marriage more and what it means to be married. It's not a dream boat but for those who get there selves together it can be. ❤️
Also we don't know what her man would want but I know as a human I rather hear the truth then the lie.
@JustAnj
In the end I did dumped the worthless lying, user. I'm in another relationship with someone that wants kids and marriage. It's just that nowadays many men will lie about wanting that just to waste your time so now I don't fall for words anymore. I look for actions.
Yessss 💯💯💯
I know what you mean, I always say words are just words.
Good on you. I hope you two have an amazing relationship and your dreams and his come true. ❤️
amen
@JustAnj you're right about that you don't want someone keeping you on the side. That could be a reason why someone never has anything meaningful and if he's cheating with her... That is low really low and he will cheat on her too.
She should communicate but a relationship should not be material objects
To be perfectly honest I gave my fiance a two part ring one ring the engagement ring the other the wedding ring of platinum and diamonds 2 carats total weight they fit together seamlessly all told 8 thousand dollars but I had a very good job at a computer firm so I could afford it making over 60 grand a year when I was in my 20's with stock options I lucked out in the late 80's early 90"s. Just because your future husband couldn't afford an expensive engagement ring doesn't mean that he loves you any less, he probably loves you even more if truth be told!