Is it shallow to have body shape preferences, I broke up with my girlfriend because I didn't feel attraction for her curves?

[Anonymous]

She is an amazing girl with so much love in her heart. I've never met someone so cheerful and funny as her. She was always there for me, even when I didn't have a job. All the gifts that she gave me had a deep meaning and she took care in every detail. I regret so much because I broke her heart. We had a long distance relationship for 6 months, but we used to have video calls every day. At some point, I started having doubts about my feelings because I wasn't sure If I feel attraction for her, but I didn't tell her anything. A month ago I decided to meet her in person. When I see her, I didn´t like her body.

She was under a lot of stress in her previous work and she recognized that she gained some weight because she wasn't having a good diet. Also, she was going to theraphy to heal her inner child because she was bullied because of her weight. She isn't overweight, but I couldn´t hide all the thoughts on my mind. I couldn't handle the situation and I broke up with her. She kept asking me to tell her the truth and I told her everything that was on my mind without any filter. After that, I saw her face and he eyes were't bright anymore. She was trying to be strong and smile, but I destroyed her. I´m feeling so guilty and I miss her a lot.

I wanna text her again, but she told me not to do that because she needs time to heal

I´m so mad at myself. I really wanted it to work out.

[Anonymous]

Wow.
It is hard to face your shallow self. Your wording is sensitive and full of deep meaning.
"he[r] eyes were[n]'t bright anymore."
"All the gifts that she gave me had a deep meaning and she took care in every detail."

I think you have real potential. You have to be honest with yourself. That is NOT an easy thing to do. And when you face that confusing moment its very easy for that shallow Hal to jump first in line. I think it was an off guard moment and you where not capable of processing it.

Remember this. A woman can change her body. Her soul can also change. When it is already such a delight her body will likely follow with little encouragement.

Its probably best to get an honest evaluation of yourself first. Then confess , if she will let you, that there are things about yourself you would love to change too. That you are also struggling with them. You don't like the conflict between your realized shallow self and the deeper loving person she awoke in you.

[bayoubob]

Fuck off. You really wanted it to work out. It's bull shit. You want her love. But you don't reciprocate. You can't change shapes. Sometimes a person hangs in because you think you can get her to lose weight or whatever. Then it never happens. But that is not the case. You don't like her figure. You want her love. You don't love her. It's that simple.

[bayoubob]

Then you are banished for life. She thinks you are sexy, she loves your cock. She has "attractive" friends that are the bees knees, they invite her over for No Texas Limit Hold 'Em, friends only. They are the greatest people on Earth. But if you fuck her? You are evil, because you try to instill tough love.

[bayoubob]

You cannot please these women. They will become 600 lbs. They might be cute. They might LOVE more than anything. But you are EVIL, because they then go to a party. They fuck a fugly dude. Get pregnant. They get the RING, then they decide? Hey, I'm going to get married, then they find out they don't want the fugly that impregnated them. They aren't smart.

[bayoubob]

Try to become their "friend", it ain't happening. You are evil. So why did we not fuck in the first place? That is quintessential. An attractive friend is who they want to hang out with. They did not fuck her. But said man is her best friend.

[Screenwriter]

Dude, if you're not attracted to someone, you're just not attracted. But it's over and done with. You could've been kinder and not done unfiltered breakup, but you weren't.

Forget about it and learn NOT TO DO THIS EVER AGAIN!!! If you aren't attracted to someone, you simply aren't. You're not going to become attracted, in most cases. No matter how otherwise wonderful someone is.

Be kind to her and leave her alone. I'm sure someone will love her fully as she is. You wounded her. You did not destroy her. You should write her a letter and apologize and leave it at that. Don't text her. It won't work out. You've seen to that. Forget about guilt and move on.

[Bratsondanielle]

It's normal for guys. My x boyfriend left me because I wouldn't get a 3rd boob job

[TommyMountainFigure]

Unfortunately for you, someone else is going to make her happy so if you're hurting now? just you wait till that happens.. then you really WILL be kicking yourself.

[Prof_Don]

You obviously didn't like her enough if her gain a few lbs due to stress was enough for you to break things off!

[JakeS00]

Being honest and realizing what you did is a plus. But what a shallow thing to do.

[nawtee_me]

It is not shallow, it is a preference, we all have them...

[RuthlessAggression]

Why did you get with her in the first place then

and yes, it makes you shallow

[Pinay_ako]

Yes super shallow

[Guy13]

We all do…

[Guy13]

No one likes fat and I wouldn’t apologize for it. Risk involved in this digital dating scheme…dating apps etc. People shouldn’t do it if they can’t handle the fallout when real life happens…

[In_Trance]

Not shallow