Couples who are living together. . . what is your living arrangement now?

Question

When you are young, and especially the first time, the decision to move in together is exciting. If you are living with your parents, you will finally be out from under their watchful eye. You will be spending EVERY night with your sexual partner. Not only is it romantic, but it is a sign to others (and yourself) that you are moving into the arena of adult relationships, instead of just the hanging out/dating, home by midnight or 1 am that teens do, but. . .

something that many couples don't consider is the psychological consequences of moving into HIS place vs. moving into HER place vs. getting a new place that the two of you move into together. Economics or other considerations may dictate that you move into his or her existing space, but that doesn't always work so well.

She moves into his place and wants to redecorate but he already has his place EXACTLY the way that he wants it. Or he moves into her place and can't stand the sixteen stuffed animals on her bed but she's had them since she was a little kid. Or you get into an argument and suddenly, he says, "This is my place, so why don't you get the hell outta here?"

Moving into your own place solves some of those problems and gives you an initial task to work on together, and you are more likely to create a space that is not yours, and not his (or hers) but it is your space together.

How did this work out when you moved in with your SO?

SaoirseS · Accepted Answer

My husband and I did not live together before we married in April, although he did overnight a few times once our relationship became a committed one. One reason was we did not want to disrespect our parents. Mine are in their late 60s and have some pretty old-fashioned values regarding cohabitation before marriage; his parents, while considerably younger, would have accepted it as just part of the times, but deep down they'd rather it not happen. Had we decided to live together before marriage, we could have easily forced it down their throats but chose not to. We could wait, and we did.

Moving into his dinky apartment would not have worked out. I live in spacious upstairs living quarters at a funeral home, which is where we are living now. This decision was initially tough on him, because my otherwise unflappable husband is queasy about anything death related. I mean anything. He doesn't want to talk about it, know about it. If he walks downstairs to see me in the business area, he follows one path where he knows he won't be exposed to any trappings of death care. But the advantages far outweigh the disadvantages, and he realized that. I pay no rent or utilities (meaning he wouldn't have to share the cost), so he can aggressively pay down (eventually pay off) his student loan debt much quicker and save a LOT of money in interest. He has his own man cave for his sports memorabilia, his own grill and grilling area, two dogs who think he's the greatest thing since perforated toilet paper, a separate garage for his own car with workshop space, and somewhere down the list is a wife who loves him. He's doing fine.

midnightmoon05 · Accepted Answer

We moved into a new place together. since the house was buid in the 60s. Some of the rooms are small with small closet spaces.
Our bedroom has a small bathroom/shower. He uses that all to himself. I could too but I chose the hallway dual sink bathroom.
I have the whole closet space because it’s small. He has the hallway closet for all his dress shirts and riding clothes that can’t fit into the bedroom dresser.
we have shoes in three different entrances.
all is working well with him being the house husband with weekly cleaning ladies come dust, mop, etc. and lawn care help so he can focus on other stuff while I work.
it’s a good arrangement.

Bluemax · Answer

Fortunately my wife and I didn't differ much on our tastes, and we agreed that certain places were dedicated for certain things.

The big difference was bathroom space. It's alchemical warfare. By far the greatest space was taken up by her things. In the shower/bath, she got 3 1/2 corners plus the whole shower caddy as opposed to the 1/2 a corner I got. However, that struck me as fair since she used a million bath products as opposed to the one or two I used.

The lotions, potions, and elixirs of a woman's bath arsenal astonish me even now.

TransAm85 · Answer

When we first started getting serious, I moved into the home he was renting w/his brother I call Grumpy. Then we were planning to get married and he asked his realtor friend about homes. He bought a home that we moved in after we got married in 2013, but Grumpy came along :( I like the house a lot and the neighborhood. My husband knows how to do more than just transmissions. He's fixed up the house a lot. Thankfully Grumpy moved out in '18 b/c I just couldn't take that guy's attitude and his Saturday morning women visitors! lol! He works second shift, so every Saturday morning he'd call some chick over for a wake up and happy ending! lol

Lliam · Answer

I made the mistake or renting a house with a girlfriend one time. Long story short, it turned into a nightmare. She wound up moving out while I was at work, and took some of my furniture and $500. Plus, I was the one who had paid for first and last month's rent, so I got stuck with that.

My next girlfriend was already renting a house with two roommates who lived in the back half of the house and shared the kitchen. I had a nice apartment. I wound up practically living at her place but sometimes she stayed at mine. I had clothes and necessities at her house. It was a wonderful arrangement.

So I would NOT recommend renting a place together. I've heard other nightmare stories, too. The problems are always based on finances.

You should only get a place together once you are married.

LazerBean · Answer

I think regardless of where you live, and who moves in with who, success and satisfaction rate all comes down to how well you know the person you're going to be living with and how well you have communicated your expectations out of that living arrangement. My husband and I lived with our parents until we got married and moved into our own house together. But we knew eachother extremely well by the time we got engaged. There have been no surprises and no conflicts, and everything that we have done decorating wise we have been in full agreement on.

snackthatsmilesback · Answer

Neither of us had a place, so we got one together. It's worked good so far except that neither of us had much furniture. Now we got a lot of miss-matched stuff and half the big shit is actually my friend's since she's living with us and has stuff left she's trying to sell. That's nice cause we have time to spread out the bigger buys, but yeah the moving/furnishing process lasts a lot longer this way. It hasn't caused any fights yet it would just be nice to be fully settled in the house at some point.

Xoxocutekitty · Answer

First decision I made when moving into his room was readjust the 'single person' furniture arrangement.

Bed tucked up against a wall and climbing over your partner to pee gets old very quickly. Also, having two nightstands for night night water becomes a must.

Overall, Worked out great. Lived in that room for 8 months, then in an apartment without roomies for another 8 months. Been living in a condo together for nearly a year so I think it was a good decision.

TrueConfection · Answer

I seem to be the exception to the rule. I lived at home until we were married. After the honeymoon, I moved into his place and eventually we built our own house.

JustinTheGreat · Answer

I moved into his apartment with him. We don’t really see it has solely just “his” apartment anymore because we pay for all the bills and rent equally and I’ve lived here with him for so long. We’re currently trying to save up for a bigger place to live, we wanted to move into an apartment but at this point we think it’s more worth it to get a house.

USLegionary · Answer

I pay 70% of the bills, she does most of the cooking, cleaning laundry. I fo the yard work, clean gutters, home maintenance etc

lovedejj_xo · Answer

I moved in with my ex we got an apartment lived together for over a year Covid happened in the middle of it things got very real and I started seeing a lot of bad signs. He became an alcoholic and since we worked from home his excuse was well I’m home …it’s 10 am why are you downing alcohol. I didn’t want to be intimate anymore and I finally just broke the lease and moved out. I can’t see myself wanting to live with another guy for a long time, I’m focused on saving for a house currently.

Anonymous · Answer

She moved into my rental. She didn't like it. We bought a house some time after.

Creampiekarl420 · Answer

My work keeps me on the road so it’s just her and the kid at the moment she doesn’t work not because she can’t or doesn’t want to but because we don’t have a babysitter

Haroonsajid · Answer

Arrange new place to live peacefully

Couples who are living together. . . what is your living arrangement now?

Most Helpful Opinions

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

Couples who are living together. . . what is your living arrangement now?

Most Helpful Opinions

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

We're glad to see you liked this post.