Anything worse than being in love with someone who won't give you a clear answer as to if they want you?

[Anonymous]

this girl is driving me nuts , maybe it started out as more of a friendship based around some attraction and chemistry.

although at this point feel i'm totally in love with her but were not like actually in a relationship , we see a lot of each other , we get along great but i don't know what she wants and i don't know how to proceed without risking our genuine connection

as to why i love her , she just makes me so happy , everything about her just leaves me wanting more , i was really depressed about things last year but she gave me a reason to actual enjoy life again

[ChillTime101]

Man I feel ya. I am in the same boat with this guy I know. He doesn't make it clear as to what he wants from me. He sends me mixed signals and it is just really annoying that he doesn't tell me how he really feels. I mean I really like this guy and I actually told him I did. So I think you should try and see if she feels the same as you and go from there. I mean I did that. And we still talk. And I guess we still have the connection we did before I told him. So I think go for it and see where it goes. And if it doesn't work out (which would be terrible) just remember there are so many other girls out there. Take that risk!

[Asker]

i agree it would help if i knew what her true feelings were although it can be hard to get people to open up especially about things like this. i fear the terrible option in which she just doesn't feel it would work out and decides to move on.

true is other people to date , don't necessary fall in love with someone random from the bar though

[slatyb]

Yes. Being married to them. There’s no “maybe”. There’s only “yes” and “no”. She’s saying “no”. Date someone else.

[Asker]

my understanding was she originally did want me as she'd ask me to do shots with her at the bar which occured on her birthday and Christmas break , then i didn't see her for a bit and eventually she returned here for the summer. she's never said yes or no

i agree she's giving off the vibe she might prefer to just be friends but not entirely sure as i pick up a lot of jealousy and our connection is so strong

[slatyb]

Have you asked her out on a date? Invited her to your place? Kissed her?

[Asker]

not officially but have mentioned things before , was a game 7 nhl game about a month ago here that was big , recall asking where she was watching it and she said at home , also a small beer festival near where she worked and she didn't seem interested in it. also this country bar night in another nearby town i mentioned but she had to work. i also talked to her about swimming as its summer but never invited her to come with me , she said she hadn't been yet but that was a couple weeks ago. so have thrown out ideas but never officially asked her anywhere

[Asker]

never invited her to my place as i live in a shared apartment type place with other people so no atmosphere or reason to try and bring her here.

we haven't kissed , we done " shots " at the bar numerous times which have occurred on various nights reasons , sometimes she'll ask me , others i ask her

we talk a lot at this pub / restaurant , we get along really well , she makes eye contact and seems to want me to be around

[slatyb]

She’s probably wondering WTF is wrong with you since you haven’t asked her out. Plan a date, invite her, and you’ll have an answer.

[Asker]

no not officially asked on like a restaurant type date as i haven't known what to suggest but summer is only so long so need to come up with something before its over. she's busy with things and never like suggested anything either

i'm very frustrated , maybe its my fault or maybe its mutual as she hasn't done anything either to figure this out , we seem to be living the status quo without making a decision if we want to go further

[In_Trance]

If the answer isn't clear, you're not asking clearly