Do you believe romance is temporary and will be replaced with other feelings?

[jennifer_bloom]

I liked a guy earlier this year and used to send him mail on my bible mailing list but removed him from my mailing list later, within 1-2 weeks of no personal emails to him, I 100% got past my romantic interest in him, now I find him to be so unattractive that I would be embarrassed to ever suggest I like him or be seen with him in public. I was never physically into him, but I liked his spirit in the past, and I thought he was average looking when we went to school together, now 7 years later; I find him extremely ugly. I read in a psychology magazine that romantic desire and rose coloured lenses will not remain and what is left when the romance is gone is the person you will be bound to for life after marriage. And almost everyone will view the relationship as a mistake when this happens.

[MrOracle]

I'm not clear how you're using the term, so let me clarify.

What most people feel initially is INFATUATION - that's the excitement, the butterflies in the stomach, the strong desire to be with a person, etc. It is associated with NEWNESS and usually includes being (temporarily) blind to that person's faults. Infatuation typically only lasts 3-6 months.

Love is what comes after - it's much deeper and more profound, and a big component of it is being willing to make great sacrifices for that person, as well as appreciating what they bring to the relationship.

Romance is a feeling that's based on specific actions - usually the guy doing something for the girl - and it essentially revives infatuation for a short period of time (hours up to a couple of days) - but it takes work and effort and action to keep going, and it generally can be sustained indefinitely - the gaps between the actions grow longer over time.

A lot of people think that they can maintain that feeling of infatuation indefinitely with a single person, but that's simply not possible. This is why many people move from person to person, always trying to maintain that "newness" and keeping that dopamine level high - but you can't sustain a relationship that way, and to believe otherwise is naïve. Real love isn't like a Disney Fairytale - there's no such thing as "happily ever after" - the purpose of love is to have a partner to help you though life's struggles - but it doesn't mean that the struggles go away once you find love. The struggles will always be there - it's just easier to manage them if you have someone to help and support you.

[MrOracle]

*generally can't be sustained indefinitely

[driven159]

as time goes by in a relationship you find a deeper meaning to it not just romance but inner feeling in the soul ones that have that are the lucky ones

[Pinay_ako]

Romance shouldn’t die. If the love is real, it should get better with age.

[BackAgain]

I don't know if it's temporary but that if it's lost like that maybe it was lust or infatuation.

Once I got to know most of my crushes that I was initially attracted to based on looks I eventually found them unattractive. Those rose colored glasses came off when they mistreated me or had a deal breaker. It's wild how unattractive or average I suddenly found them. I started to notice things I didn't before like I was no longer under a spell.

There's some who mistreated me in the beginning but later became kind. I don't feel attracted to them anymore for their looks but I can still see they're good looking if that makes sense. I don't get butterflies or feel a spark but I feel comfortable. Once in a blue moon I feel giddy after talking with them but then I go back to first impressions. I never asked them why they were mean to me at first but I can guess that they had certain assumptions about me then when they got to know me they treated me well. I know that to be the case for one of them as I later found out this one other girl who I barely know spread rumors about me before he met me firsthand.

[RealMarek]

Things aren’t so absolutely grim. Romance does fade in many cases, but there are plenty of cases in which the couple are still happy together and love each other. Sometimes the romance and feeling of being in love never fades. It is rare but it happens, and if it happens to you, you will feel incredibly fortunate.

[LILYWHITEROSE]

Romance is different from love, love should be long term, and connected to caring and being there for someone, romance is an act of love that you do not knowing more about that person... It is a spark that you get not knowing more about that person.

[Wubs3000]

Rose tinted glasses def are a thing I know from firsthand experience. But I've never liked someone long enough or been in a relationship long enough to know if the glasses fade or not.

[Adronicus]

No, but I do believe that some women are afraid of falling too deep. Both sides have to be willing to invest all in & most women like guys they can't "figure out".

[maximumpower]

As a whole, men tend to place far less priority on romance. Much like decorations, it may be nice for awhile but guys tend to tire of it b/c it doesn't pay the bills or put food on the table.

[Jadatime]

Romance can always be replaced with anything, but Abraham and Sarah is a great example of romance. At 90 Abraham sported Sarah around in the garden. Like, running through the garden catching her and holding her passionately gazing in her eyes, desiring the taste of her lips. She was beautiful even at 90.

[CøøpR]

People come and go. We have feelings of some sort about many we meet. If he isn’t heart broke and you’re not heart broke over the fading away than I wouldn’t push for another go. Let it be.
God bless ya

[Amakudari]

Romance, like everything else is temporary as one would be considered to have issues if always in a state of romance or whatever that even means. Romance can be learned and cultivated and one should take the time to learn how to romance themselves and others.

[dophix]

Relationship is not about feelings and love. Don't block him. Just continue talking to him.

[jengeorge26]

Romance is temporary

[jengeorge26]

Thank you Jennifer

[blueskies97]

Yea it could turn into friendship or hate or even marriage

[Anonymous]

It sounds like that Putz hurt you dearly. Things will work out for you.

[Zolly99999]

No i don't think so

[Jen_27]

Yeah people are always change