Do you believe all relationships are temporary?

[xHeyUx]

Recently a friend asked me what I wanted out of a relationship. Honestly I don’t remember what I said. I do remember how hey responded. They told me to not be hurt, but by their very nature “all relationships are temporary”. Do you believe this?

Yep. That’s life. Deal.

Undecided.

No. Sometimes the connection is enduring.

Just show me the answers

[Anonymous]

Yeah I see life it that way even though I never really wanted to believe it. On the flip sid eit's why I don't date as much. I would want something long term but people's lives grow in different directions, the woman who I'm dating's feeling could change and she'd lesve to find someone or or leave me for someone else. If I ever got to marriage and she wanted a divorce there's not much I could do about that.

So yeah I do believe relationships are temporary but that's life. Having a temporary relationship though isn't necessarily pointless. We give value to stuff in our lives. Nothing is truly pointless or a waste of time unless we give it that value.

So as much as I'd like to find a great woman to spend the rest of my life with. I have no motivation to. I have much greater value in other areas of my life. So I'm happy with the way things are. Not to say I wouldn't try dating if someone cool came along.

[xHeyUx]

To have a good relationship you have to start with yourself, I believe. If you start out happy with your own company, that’s the best place to start. Whether some relationships are enduring, as I would like to believe, or if they all have a limited life as my friend contends; not worrying too much about yesterday or tomorrow and valuing the relationships we can have today is the best action to take in my book.

[Opinion Owner]

I agree thatyou haveto be happy in your own company and I'm happiest when I'm alone I find. I also agree with not worrying about yesterday, because the past is the past we should learn from it and move forward. Though I disagree about not worrying about tomorrow. Why enter something that's going to be a trainwreck or potentially ruin or worsen your life. I find it's good and helpful to be smart about these things.

That's why I'm just living life enjoying it and not worrying about whether or not I'm in one. Being friendly and meeting people is just something that may help but one should do it because they want to not because they feel they need to.

[xHeyUx]

Agree, plan for tomorrow. Don’t worry about tomorrow. There’s a difference. One is proactive the other a valueless expenditure of energy.

[Opinion Owner]

Fair enough. i could agree with that one

[Moray]

Love and committing to your partner is a constant decision, especially during the difficult times (provided that both parties equally see effort to meet the other halfway.) Commitment comes from the heart, if one leaves each time when "the feeling is not there anymore", likely all the relationships will end up temporary.

[xHeyUx]

But are *all* relationships temporary? What day you?

[AzureGirl]

I feel like if someone views relationships as only temporary then there isn’t much point in getting in a relationship.

[xHeyUx]

The person that told me that is a long time friend, so I’m trying to consider the concept rather than dismiss it immediately. Life is temporary, so that’s one possible explanation. People move away - does a friendship end then? I knew someone that believed that, but they were not a paragon of social interactions - more a user.

[AzureGirl]

I understand life ends, but it’s better not to dwell on the end. Same goes for all things. If people worry too much about the end of things then they forget to live in the now and enjoy things.

[xHeyUx]

For certain. Yesterday and tomorrow are far less important, in general. Good point! ... but still, do all relationships end? I still believe the answer is no, but am open to other perspectives.

[AzureGirl]

They can, but I think the effort put in on both ends is what helps keep it alive. For example, you mentioned friends moving. I have a friend I met my senior year of high school who was a foreign exchange student. We haven’t seen each other in about 5-6 years but we still contact each other regularly despite being on opposite ends of the globe. We’re still friends!

[xHeyUx]

This is what I’m wondering - meaningful relationships, don’t those endure?

[AzureGirl]

I believe so! But it’s endurance is also helpful when both sides of the relationship make it work and communicate to keep the relationship

[hahahmm]

No. I think people know when the person they are with is someone they want to be with forever or not and they also know (eventually) how the other person feels about it.
When both people feel it can be forever it might be.

[LegateLanius]

Not all but you have to remember that everyone has a clock, we all will die someday. Even if your partner is with you for most of your life, you never know when you or they will pass.

[xHeyUx]

Does death end a relationship? Maybe this seems obvious - it is on the surface. Some people have a relationship with a diety. If we had a great relationship with a person and we think about them and wonder, what would they do in this stituation or I miss doing XYZ with them, etc; is the relationship still alive in some sense?

[LegateLanius]

no. as sad as it is to say it, death is the end. you can not speak to them, see them, feel their heart beat, its gone. no one knows for sure what happens after you die but to me it is an end

[gobsmacked3]

To a large degree, everything has its time. it is hard to afford over time and grow together rather than drift apart. it can happen but it take hard work and a good deal of fortune

[Anonymous]

Your friend is right.

[xHeyUx]

Can you explain why?

[Opinion Owner]

Everything ends, people change, feelings fade.

[xHeyUx]

Do you do not believe in an enduring relationship - friends or lovers? Something that lasts a lifetime?

[Opinion Owner]

No, I don't. Everything ends and nothing is permanent. Learn to accept it.

[xHeyUx]

Wow, it’s funny that the friend that told me this same thing I’ve had for over 40 years. Seems like a long time to me...

However, I take your point that things are finite. I have found quite a few people that share your perspective. At more the extreme end of things - I knew someone for a while. They moved 18 miles and left all their friends behind because it was too far away and wasn’t worth staying in touch (I’m the age of phones, email texting and sundry other ways. If one follows that approach, it will be hard to maintain friendships or romantic relationships over time, I would guess.

[TheLawless1]

Life is temporary.

[xHeyUx]

Yes, from this perspective - particularly if you do not believe anything exists post death - all relationships must end the interaction. If the memories of that person exist to those that remain alive, does the relationship truly die?

[TheLawless1]

No, I believe we can still have a relationship with those who have passed. Memories immortalize.

[Anonymous]

I think so

[xHeyUx]

What leads you to thinking is conclusion?