Am I insecure or is my boyfriend cheating?

Question

I have a feeling my boyfriend is using his phone to cheat, here are some of the signs I'm worried about.. • He started going to the toilet more a few times a day which was very different then normal routine • He just seemed more secretive with his discord and other things on his PC and phone • When I mentioned my insecurities he made jokes saying how if he was I'd never find out and that he'd just delete the stuff • He started doing more things for me and says things like I don't deserve you and I'm so lucky to have you and he feels like a bad boyfriend • When I ask what he does at night on his phone he says YouTube, but when he's with me he goes on Reddit and changes it to that • He never posts on his reddit account unless he's with me, then I don't see him for a few days and it hasn't been active • He has had a new phone for less than a week as his old one was packing up, he still uses his old one and often takes his old one with him when he leaves the room or goes to work, when I ask him as to why he's taking it with him and using 2 phones he says its because he needs to set up apps on his new phone and has authenticators and stuff..

Its only been less than a week so I'm hoping he doesn't continue using his old phone I know his passcode and he tells me I can check his phone whenever I want to it I'm ever worried, I also have bpd so it's hard to tell if I'm just insecure or if it's genuine

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Not trusting shady situations is not insecurity, it’s instinct.

If you don’t trust him or his actions do more research. Do you have his new phones passcode? If not text him cute little memes or something and catch his new phones passcode and check it when he’s sleeping.

Tbh most of my parters came from my place of work and I bounce and party girls / club goer girls are probably notch worse than tinder girls ( also probably goes for men too). Not that I pre-determinedly distrust them but I’m getting to the point that I’ve gotten cheated on by a few. My first serious one caught an STI (we would go in together and get checked and she tested positive on the 6th, the funny thing is it was her who wanted to do that so she knew I wasn’t cheating), my 4th and 5th I both caught cheating by going threw they’re phone.

Life can be shitty but do what’s in your best interest first. If you think he’s cheating and breaking your trust it’s a hell of a lot less bad if you snoop through his phone rather than him disrespecting you and staying with a gross liar. If he catches you snooping and really cares about you he will understand where you’re coming from and try to be as open as possible.

If he’s a good man ( with morals , forgiveness and understanding ) and not cheating he won’t say no petty shit like “I can’t believe you don’t trust me” or bring up necessity for privacy over the fact you have doubts over his shady actions.

Traumasurgeon · Accepted Answer

He may be cheating on you. He may not be cheating on you. Thats not what your should focus on. It is seeming to put a lot of strain on you to try and figure this out. This is what you should focus on. Do you want to continue a relationship that will always be strained like this? If not, you need to talk to him and listen to what he has to say. Digest but making a swift decision on staying or leaving. Men can manipulate too if they're good enough. The flip side is, why are you so worried about your boyfriend cheating on you?
1. Have you been cheated on before?
2. Do you not think you’re enough?
3. Do you think youve been a bad girlfriend
See often times women especially transfer their feelings from previous relationships into the one they currently have. You need to be sure this is not the case. Solve the turmoil in yourself to see if you're the problem. Once you're sure its not you then you can proceed with the former.

sage2021 · Accepted Answer

Any sudden changes with his phone behavior is definitely a sign he is hiding someone from you. And going into the bathroom more often, well, he doesn't call her, because you could hear him talking. So he's using some other method to get in touch with her.
He also could have started watching a lot of porn. He might be addicted to it. Especially if he's taking the phone with him into the bathroom.
Either way, you are on to him and not imagining it.
He could be letting you look at his phone because he has stuff stored in files that you will never find.
Don't you just want to take his darn troublemaking phones and throw them in a lake? Sorry you are dealing with this whole thing. It's so unfair to you.🌹

Rosexøxø · Accepted Answer

I don't know be confident in yourself first, and if you’re wanting a loyal type because you have legitimate needs, then you need to get together with someone who acts responsible and is not deceitful is putting good effort to assure you. Someone who is being communicative etc. Not giving room for doubts. If he can’t do that he’s just not that serious for you and your needs, and isn’t worth the stress. Hope this somewhat helps. Not trying to be indifferent either, just trying to offer you some quick, simple efficiencies to your personal situation, that others can relate to.

Emiliamazing · Answer

I’d be a bit insecure about this behavior as well. I don’t know anything about Reddit or other social sites, so I can’t comment on that behavior. If he’s not devoting time to your relationship and brushing off your concerns, that would be a concern to me

Bmories99 · Answer

The part that doesn't sound good is he is hiding things from you and being secretive. The other concern is the statements he is making sounds like a guilty concise. However whether he is cheating or just looking at porn is another matter. If I had to guess though he is texting someone else though I have no proof. If he does work in the IT field there may be evidence but it would be hard to find.

defnotraemie · Answer

It’s very possible, I’m not going to lie. And it really points to that. I don’t really approve of looking through phones but here Id probably recommend it

niniiii3 · Answer

I feel like he's hiding something, doesn't necessarily mean that he's cheating. But the fact he said he doesn't deserve you and he feels like a bad boyfriend is a hint that he's up to something bad and feels guilty. So I'll just say that investigate for a while before you confront or take action or you can go talk to him about what you're feeling and if he sounds sketchy, you have your answer. Wish you luck

boggboss · Answer

Its possible but like said he sounds like a tech guy if he was cheating using his phone I don't think k he would leave evidence

exitseven · Answer

It is suspicious that he is keeping his old phone. He might be cheating but you should gather more evidence before making an accusation.

Anonymous · Answer

God you young people and your fucking smart phones. He was on Instagram. He didn’t like my Snapchat. He was posting on Reddit but he said he uses YouTube. Get a life. Goddamn. Smh.

chicosuave · Answer

If my girls sees me date her best friend and she gets mad about it then she is insecure.

texas_giiirl30 · Answer

Sounds like he’s hiding something especially with how he’s talking to you

Zolly99999 · Answer

Omg that's so mean. Yes i believe he is cheating on you

Yuuibtony · Answer

Realized Realized he jacking off to some porno, good ones I say so myself

sunflower00 · Answer

I would be worried too tbh

Guy13 · Answer

It does not sound good. Sorry.

Anonymous · Answer

He’s cheating dump him lol

RuthlessAggression · Answer

If you feel it in your gut, trust your gut

888theGreat · Answer

you chickys are funny. So insecure

dophix · Answer

Observe him

In_Trance · Answer

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