Is it okay to not want my boyfriend going to out/parties by himself?

[Anonymous]

We've been dating for nearly 2 years, although I love our relationship, friendship and connection he has lied to me and kept so many secrets I don't trust him anymore, he wants to go to a party with a friend but doesn't know the birthday person or anyone else going. Due to me not being able to trust him I don't want him going, should I get him to stay home a be a rat-shit like he says I am sometimes or should I just forget about it and let him go.

[CarolinaJones]

I mean if he broke your trust, he has to gain/ win your trust all over again. Similar to how parents would ground their children if they went out without permission to parties or any social outings. Perhaps there may be another option which I suggest doing. I suggest going with him to the birthday party together.

[laurieluvsit]

In a committed relationship he should not be doing that without you.

He is trying to have his cake and eat it too, meaning he wants you and some other girls on the side.

Zebra's do not change their stripes, so unless you are OK with it continuing this way, you need to act accordingly... sorry :(

[Avicenna]

If you‘re willing to break up over it, tell him you want him to stop doing it.

[HighValue]

Can you go with him, or does he specifically not want YOU to go?

[Asker]

I don't think he want's me to go as he considers it controlling and me being their means he's not able to "have fun" if I am their with him.

[HighValue]

Hmm, parties while not wanting their SO there seems like a bad idea to me.

[Asker]

I agree but I don’t want to seem controlling or anything

[HighValue]

Sometimes it is necessary for both people to sit down and have a conversation about what is and what is not acceptable for them in a relationship. Both people need to know what each of them expects from a partner, otherwise there will be continual misunderstandings, hurt feelings, and it can lead to resentment.

[Asker]

I don’t know how to start a conversation like that, talking about what each other wants in it and how they feel towards things becoz things I say don’t get listened too or heard I can have an opinion on something but he’ll go and do the opposite thing

[Guy13]

I get it but it is not realistic

[JohnK123]

I mean don’t control him that much