We kissed but haven't really talked since. Why is that?

[Anonymous]

So me (18F) and this guy (18M) from my school have been talking more seriously since May - texting, I mean. We go to the same school and met by accident in April. Since this time he would text me regularly, first approximately once a week, then more often, every day or every other day. He always replied fast and we would text for like 5 hours non-stop, no breaks. In May he asked me to hang out somewhere together, we went out at the end of June, the 'date' lasted 6 hours, then we met last week and then went cycling this Monday. So during the last 'date' this week we kissed (he initiated it), held hands and all that stuff. It's been three days but we haven't really talked much, he asked when I'm leaving city for holidays - I said that in less than two weeks - and he replied that we could meet before my departure. That was really it, I tried to mention something about our 'intimate' moment on Monday but he didn't say anything about it. He mostly texts me at night, never during the day, because he knows I stay up late. Maybe I'm overreacting but everytime I see couples my age they seem to be obsessed with each other - they can't live without each other, meet every day, talk every day on facetime, or call, just to be close all the time. I don't feel it from his side tho. We kissed and he hasn't said anything about it and he doesn't seem to show any super interest that he wants to see me like all the time and he misses me, he also never complimented me. It's like regular. He never had a girlfriend before and he never kissed before me (I guess, he apologized for not being good at kissing), he also doesn't seem to have any girl friends in general. Is this slow pace normal? I mean, we kissed and cuddled and I'm leaving in a week for the whole month and he just wants to see me ONCE during that time? That sounds like a friend to me. Is he just shy/nervous and doesn't have experience with girls or is he not fully interested in me? Why would he kiss me then?

[HollyK21]

All the questions you’re asking here need to be told to him, and I can’t stress that enough. Sure those talks are scary but if you can’t talk about your feelings now then you’ll never be able to. Ask for clarity, get an idea of what he’s looking for, these are simple things. As far as the pace goes, it really depends on what you want and what works for you. Some people are the sort to be super clingy to one another, and some people aren’t big on that — everyone is different.

[Asker]

yeah but this type of talk may ruin it totally, i think i'd prefer to stay friends than to talk to him about it. i guess i'm gonna put him in the friendzone and keep seeing other guys that will meet my expectations. rarely texting, only at night, and seeing each other once a week is too little for me

[HollyK21]

I think it’s great that you are being honest with yourself as far as what is acceptable and what is not, because a lot of women would just settle all for the sake of having someone, or being afraid to lose the guy who isn’t fulfilling what she’s looking for. Hopefully you find the person that meets your expectations, and it’s not too hard of a time friend zoning this guy.

[IAteTwoFullHams]

Well, you kind of said it yourself: he's never had a girlfriend.

It was easy enough for him to just chill with you like a friend. He's comfortable with that.

But now you've kissed, and he doesn't know if he has a girlfriend now, and he doesn't know if he wants a girlfriend at all, and he doesn't know how to talk to a girlfriend, and it feels weird to talk about the kiss, and it feels weird not to talk about the kiss...

... and basically you just broke his poor little virgin brain.

Oh well, he'll get there someday.

[Guy13]

How was the first kiss... did you get a vibe? You may have to train him since he has never had a boyfriend. Be patient and may not know that he can kiss you again. He sounds a little unsure what to do. Make sense?