Are long distance relationships for you? For how long can you be in it without seeing each other irl?

Question

Were you ever in one? How did it go?

PeteBy · Accepted Answer

Was talking to an American on Compuserve (anyone remember that?) back in the 90's when I was in the UK the first time.

Anyway, didn't think anything would happen but called her from New Jersey en route to Calgary for a two week vacation.

Anyway we got to talking on the phone every day. Her in Ohio, me in various places on the western side of North America. Seattle, Vancouver, Victoria.

Long story short, I moved to the US two months later and we were together six years. So it can work, finances help of course; or a willingness to relocate to another country to be with them.

I've already posted on another thread about my Dutch partner. I am back in the UK and we just clicked on Facebook. Many telephone calls later, I jokingly asked her to come visit as she needed a vacation. Six days into said vacation she told me she loved me. She went home and I thought that was the end of the adventure. Only to be told by her she is selling everything and moving to the UK to be with me. She arrived through the arrivals gate, quite eerily at 11.11 am on the 11th November 2011.

11.11.11.11

We're still together 11 years on. There's another 11 lol

Neilbud · Accepted Answer

I mean the right person, it can be awsome. Gives you a reason to travel, get away from the norm, new experience. Maturity is key though, cause the wrong person can use you. And long term commitment can be tough. But than, it can be tough in even short term relationships.

HollyK21 · Accepted Answer

I was in 3 LDRs in my 20s, the 3rd time I already knew that arrangement wasn’t for me but still gave it a try, because I liked him a lot and hoped it would be different. Now I would never advise someone be in an LDR if it’s not for a short time because I genuinely don’t believe they are meant to be for a long time. There should be an end point on the horizon, like moving closer together or living together eventually. Or it’s temporary, like a few months, even a year which is pushing it. But if there’s no solidified end date and there’s just hopes and fantasies then it’s a waste of time.

cheeryyyyy · Accepted Answer

Yes, it was a bit hard to make it work but eventually we made it. I waited three years to see my boyfriend. We talked daily and whenever possible online, did calls, sent pictures. Sometimes it was worrying because if he was offline I would worry constantly (am an overthinker lol) but it was worth the wait

Little_Bumblebee · Answer

I know I cannot do long distance relationships.

When I was a young teenager I was catfished by this guy I was in a LDR with, and apart from his lies, it was very difficult.

I've also had to be apart from my real life boyfriends for some time, and it didn't go that well with it.

I need to be able to be near the one I'm in a relationship with. And to be physical, sexual or not.
Also to do stuff with them and spend time together and such.

Even friendships can be tough long distance.

I might be able to hold it if it's just for a short amount of time.

FriendlyDrugDealer · Answer

I used to do them a lot in the past but I’m not a fan of it now. It’s not that I’m incapable of doing so I just know how much of a heartache that it can cause when you’re the thick of it. I was in a relationship with someone who I loved very deeply to my core and proposed to get married with. Obviously it didn’t work out , it took me forever to get over the pain in my heart and it some ways I think I never truly healed from it in the sense I’m not open to the idea of another LDR. It’s just too taxing on my heart to endure

AviatorTom · Answer

When I was much younger, I had two long distance relationships (LDR). One was not that far away (70 miles, 110 km) and the other was 200 miles (320 km). Each of them were summer flings, lasting about 4 months each.

On the shorter one, we saw each other 1-2 times a week. On the longer one, it was 2-3 times a month. Both were before the Internet, and we talked to each other on the phone and sent cards and letters back and forth, old school style.

It's hard for an LDR to work long-term. I suspect, though, it might be easier with today's technology... text, email, video chat, social media.

exitseven · Answer

I did it for 3 years. WEe wrote letters to each other and maybe once in a while splurged on a long distance phone call. We saw each other 3 or 4 times a year. It was really hard and I was really unhappy most of the time. Even when we were together it was sad because it was only for a week. I spent the whole time waiting for her to dump me.

Still-alive · Answer

I can't do it. i tried it with a girl on this site actually, about 7 years ago now... damn i can't believe its been that long already...

anyways there were sooooo many times i wanted to just hold her and touch her soo badly or have her embrace me but we couldn't obviously. it was also very difficult trying to arrange a good time to chat just me and her due to time differences and our different jobs at the time.

there were other issues i had with her too but a bit more personal. regardless though i need to be able to touch my partner intimately or i just can't do it.

im also just not willing to travel or move just for her either. cause if it didn't work out potentially i would be in a whole city i don't know very well and it would feel like i totally wasted all that time and money getting there.

so several knocks against the idea. i have seen some couples make it work... but for the most part its extremely difficult to pull off successfully.

AsaKyo · Answer

They can work if it's with the person who you feel is "just right", and if you make time for each other, both actively contribute to meeting each other and actually have plans of getting married, starting a family, etc. But like others have said, they are very difficult and are most certainly not for everyone. I think overall, it really boils down to the people in the relationship, though.

ArtemisSilver · Answer

I have been in a few, mostly casual friends + fun situations with the chance of meeting at some point. They usually don't last too long, although some have lasted several years.

I wouldn't want it to be my main relationship though, as I feel I need that intimate connection fairly often.

Finchie40 · Answer

I was in 1 and it was hard because we missed each other a lot but when we got together it was amazing , but the leaving each other part sucked , but if it’s meant to be it’s meant to be and will work out if you both truly value each other

ElementoP · Answer

To me, long distance relationships are for people who just want a relationship at all costs, they don't care about the details or inconveniences

Personally, I don't even want a relationship, it just happened. So I wouldn't do it

melanieeeB · Answer

Nopee I already find it hard when he is like an hour away... I need my man close by and around and touchable

Guy13 · Answer

They are impossible unless God has made himself known in them...

ObscuredBeyond · Answer

It'd take someone like you to convince me to try it again. The chance for failure is so high with LDRs, I'm burned out. Tired of losing.

bigpauly · Answer

I’ve never tried one. Though I used to say it was one with a girl who was like a foot taller than me lmao.  I have wondered before how it would work out. I’d be willing to give it a shot.

RavVid · Answer

Only for short periods when I was working overseas. Doesn't really qualify.

Guanfei · Answer

I've been in one. Messed me up for almost 8 months. If you can avoid it, that's the best. Yet, I'm so deprived of love today that I would try again.

qwert1234 · Answer

I am generally fine with it. It's the other person who usually isn't.

Waldoe · Answer

I married a babae from Balicuatro... it didn't work out, she cheated on me and I had the marriage annulled

pizzalovershouse · Answer

Nope not for me to be together is important

Guardian45 · Answer

I've been in a few LDRs. They are difficult, but can be worth it. Out three, only one was worth it.

Zolly99999 · Answer

I tried many years ago.. it very difficult.. I wouldn't do it again. I prefer IRL

DiegoO · Answer

You know my story. If the context you're referring to is not never-met relations, I would surely wait. A never-met relation? No.

legalboxers · Answer

I've been in many

jengeorge26 · Answer

Maybe it works for some people but not me

OnlinePeanut22 · Answer

Wouldn't be able to thwt. I don't see the point.

EaterPeter · Answer

No, they are for nobody

Fuentes · Answer

Nah I can't do that lol it ain't for me

ChiTown33 · Answer

Nope.

Jamie05rhs · Answer

I'm not against it.

Are long distance relationships for you? For how long can you be in it without seeing each other irl?

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