Why do my Boyfriend delete his messages?

[Anonymous]

We exchanged passwords 2 months ago because he did some things in the past and now i go through his phone every once in a while. 3 months ago his brother sent him screenshots of females pages on Instagram and told him he should dm them. and now when I check his brother messages they talk about sports but there has been a few times when he has deleted his brother messages is he still being sneaky or am I just being paranoid?

Updates

1 y

He goes through my phone as well and reads messages I sent to my family

[Rich3610]

Paranoia’s ship already sailed, and you two are playing an old and dangerous game. He was unfaithful in the past, so you exchange passwords to each other’s email, social media, etc. I am truly sorry to be the one to tell you this, but the relationship ended at that moment. Letting you read his messages led to this question, so you still do not trust him (and rightfully so). My guy friends have me in a group in WhatsApp and post nudes (usually escort ads) all the time. I don’t ask for it, and I don’t need them. My wife sees them, and laughs that the guys do that. She doesn’t hold that against me, nor does she think I’m going to hire one of those escorts and betray her.

My advice is harsh but effective: You have two choices 1) Find a better way for him to earn back your trust, or 2) Don’t lose anymore time in a relationship that already ended the moment you started reading each other’s emails and messages. Some argue that couples should have nothing to hide, and I agree! However, a solid relationship preserves the individuals’ privacy. I have my wife’s passwords and phone unlock code, but as the result of helping her with things (ex: paying a bill while she’s slammed at work, but I have time). She also has my logins for the same reason. But I would consider it a massive violation of her privacy if I access her email or social medial accounts, just to “check on her”. There’s nothing to check.

[qwert1234]

Maybe he does not want drama.

Then again, deleting causes drama. You should ask him.

[Anonymous]

I would never go through someone's phone and I would never let them go through mine, it's disgusting and immature.

[panda2712]

I would still be sus if I was in that situation and I’d be very mad but that’s just me

[Guy13]

He’s hiding something