Why would my boyfriend delete his messages?

[Blueeyes28]

So my boyfriend and I have been going out for three years now. We have a one year old daughter and live together. The other day I was logged into yahoo and the next morning I went on to check my mail. I clicked on mail and saw a Facebook notification from this Danielle girl. I clicked on it and then realized that it wasn't my yahoo mail it was my boyfriends. I forget what the message said but I noticed that it did sound like by what she said that he had messaged her first. We have this whole rule thing about talking to other girls or guys without the other one letting the other know. He never talks to other girls at all. This girl I noticed was the same Danielle he had went on a date with a few weeks before we met. Nothing happened and they didn't really talk after that. I noticed in another notification that she had accepted the friend request which meant that he sent her it. I went into the history and he had searched for her on Facebook. So pretty much he went out of his way to search for not only a girl but a girl he went on a date with a long time ago that is very attractive and very slutty. He messaged her and not the other way around. I went onto his Facebook to see what he wrote her but both messages were deleted. All of his other ones from me and other people were there. It clearly seems suspicious like he is trying to hide something. I looked at his phone tonight to see if there was anything from her and he had added her to his contacts. But if everything was innocent why delete the message? He is honest about everything else so if it was innocent he probably would have told me. How to I go about bringing this up with him so that he doesn't turn it around on me about how I was on his Facebook even though he had done that to me before but I actually had a real suspicion. I just wanted to know the truth and what kind of trash is around my daughter. But I just want to know why he would do this and what I should say? If something is up what can I do to stop this? What can I do to make him tell me the truth?

[thelittlethings]

If you have his passwords to log into his account he obviously doesn't care if you do. So if he knows you have these passwords, why are you worried about him knowing you went through his stuff? Just don't let him turn it around on you. If he says you messed up and tries to turn it around tell him, "We'll deal with that later. Right now this is about you." Take care of the first problem first and then worry about the other. If he wasn't doing anything shady then you wouldn't have to look through his sh*t to find out what he is doing. I would be pist off too. Why is he talking to someone he went out with before anyways? That's innapropriate and even more so because he is deleting messages. And now he suddenly has her number? The whole situation sounds fishy. And he may not be willing to admit what is going on. So you can either wait it out and look into it more and find out for yourself. Or you can confront him and hope he tells you the truth. No matter what he says though I would keep an eye on it if I were you. Call me paranoid from being cheated on in the past but that's just me. My ex lied to me when I confronted him about cheating and like and idiot I just believed him and didn't keep looking into it. Months later when I decided to check again it was still going on, it had never stopped and I was an idiot to believe him. Good luck!

[feyspirit]

Wow, sounds like bad news...I don't know if there is any way to make him tell you the truth. But, I would be prepared for the worst. I am not trying to be a bummer, but just seems like there is something very werid about what you are saying...Wish I could be more help...:-(

[germanotaku]

Assuming your boyfriend is around the same age you are, I'd say that he is flirting with other girls. Now I don't know this for a fact, but I wouldn't be surprised!

There could be more to it, but it need not to be...

You know, there's the saying which goes like "Curiosity killed the cat!" and to be honest, this is just SO DAMN TRUE. Curiosity in your case was investigating his accounts. Going from mail into Facebook into private messages, etc...

When detecting the mail, why not leaving it at that point and confront him with it. Communication is a key in all relationships and so is trust! You broke the second one and now don't make the mistake and break the first one, too.

Tell him what you wrote here. That you were to going to check your mails but accidentally (he won't believe you anyways...) logged into his account and that you saw this Facebook friendship thingy... tell him then, that curiosity got you and that you went through his Facebook, too. Tell him that you are sorry but tell him you're worried about this, too. Why he hasn't told you that he made friends with that girl, etc.. etc...

Anything moving from that point onwards is up to you how you deal with the situation...

I hope I could be of a little help to you ;-)

[Miss_sweet1234]

So what was the outcome? I had a similar situation and was wondering what happened for you?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend still has old Facebook messages from girls he used to talk to I asked him to delete them but still keeps them why? I've also caught him out on so many small lies from his past why does he lie?