Boyfriend won’t allow me to hangout with male friends?

[almondmilklatte]

He says it’s because I’m “attractive” and he “can’t imagine why a guy would only want to be friends” with me. To me, that implies he thinks my personality isn’t good enough

And maybe he shouldn’t be dating me if he can’t handle the face that other people will find me attractive. He knows I have turned down multiple guys since we became official but is still worried even though I fully trust him and would be fine with him hanging out with his female friends.

I’ve always had more guy friends than girls growing up because I was super close with my dad as a kid and was bullied by girls in school. My boyfriend is perfect in every other area except for him getting jealous, so I don’t want to call it off but this is starting to frustrate me

Updates

1 y

Let me specify: he won’t allow me to hangout with male friends ONE ON ONE. He said group settings are fine

[Finchie40]

The thing is most guys are territorial of their girlfriends and most guys know what other guys are thinking , In most cases guys don’t befriend a girl without the intentions of trying to hook up with her , sad but true , so you have to ask yourself how would you feel if your boyfriend was constantly hanging out with other girls without you? Whether you say it’s ok if he does or not you are still opening doors to allow fire to enter into your relationship, if you valued and loved your boyfriend , distancing those guy friends shouldn’t be a big deal , out of respect for your relationship , you have to remember you aren’t single anymore , for relationships to work, sometimes we have to sacrifice things to show you value and respect your partner even if you don’t agree with them , Selfishness is the biggest relationship killer , by you choosing those male friends over your boyfriend is probably going to make your relationship fail because of your selfishness , which is going to lead your boyfriend to be selfish by being open to meeting another girl that values him more than you do to him, relationships are based off of respect it should be you and him vs the world , when a guy feels disrespected in a relationship don’t be surprised when you find him with another girl in his arms because all he is thinking when you are hanging out with those guy friends is that they are trying to get in your pants , so if you really valued him and cared about him why would you want him feeling that way? Friends come and go , but your partner will be with you until the end when you value each other , if you can’t remove selfishness for your partner then he won’t be able to remove selfishness for you , If you really need those guy friends then you are best to just stay single because you will see that every guy you end up with in a relationship is going to be territorial , if they aren’t territorial then that just shows they don’t give 2 shits what you do and they are probably screwing other Girls as well , Relationships aren’t easy but for it to work you both have to wear each other’s shoes and sacrifice things for each other , that’s the only way love will grow ,

[Anonymous]

Would you be okay if he hangout with female friends?

I won't say it's trust issue. Because we men know how men think. Me and all my friends enjoy staring at our female friend's boobs and ass, even if she's a very close friend. Ofcourse we like being touchy too. So unlike women, MOST men would use their chance to touch you and enjoy your body.

My girlfriend have rejected multiple guys like you did, but still some assholes try to flirt with her. Some boyfriends cannot tolerate that.

[almondmilklatte]

I said I’d be fine if he wanted to hangout with female friends. If he’s going to cheat-which I know he won’t- I don’t want him anyway! Why would I keep him away from people?

[Opinion Owner]

That's what jealousy is. He doesn't want to give other guys a chance to try. A bit of jealousy is healthy

[almondmilklatte]

Him saying he can’t imagine why a guy would want to be friends with me is just mean though

[Opinion Owner]

That's a trust issue between the guys and not you. You can try to make him understand that if you saw any unwanted signs, you'll step back

[MoniqueTLC]

I get it from your side and his. It's easier to get a long with guys as mates, there's less drama etc. etc. and if that's who you connected with growing up you're not going to think anything of it. We're allowed to have friends of the opposite sex, and you should not be told otherwise.

From his side, he's probably a little insecure, and probably feels like these guy friends of yours are going to threaten him by (potentially) getting in the way of your relationship. If he trusts you, he doesn't trust them. If he doesn't trust you, then that's a whole other issue.

You both have different views on this, and so compromise might be necessary, which you'll both need to come to together.

[BrookeAZ90]

Well, he either trusts you or he doesn't. If he doesn't trust you, then you both probably need to talk about why that is and if letting you hang out with your guy friends and nothing happening will create more trust. If he says he does trust you, then something else has to be going on. Like, he has control issues. And believe me, those are not going to go away. So you probably need to talk about whatever deeper thing is going on and see if you can come to some agreement on it, but if he is just trying to control who you spend your time with, you should probably get out of that.

[Yellovv]

What you can do in that situation?

[UniquelyBasic]

I'd say having no jealousy is worse than having a little. Shows you wouldn't care if he found someone else and left you. I don't think it's wrong of him to ask this of you if he's doing the same on his end with other women. He may not trust these other men he doesn't know too well and given the opportunity anyone is capable of cheating which is what he's worried about.

[almondmilklatte]

It’s impossible to prevent anyone from cheating though. If someone wants to cheat they will do what’s the use in preventing a girl from hanging out with friends?

[UniquelyBasic]

Well sure to an extent if someone is prone to cheating, they will cheat. Their is no point in trying to test a relationship by letting your partner hang out alone with the opposite sex giving them many opportunities for them to potentially cheat.

[hyperben]

control freak but yeah, the other guys will want you.

Girls and guys instinctively scan each other for compatibility and for certain, every guy friend has pictured you naked.

That said, if your boyfriend can't deal with you hanging out with people (male or female) he doesn't trust you and eventually that mis-trust will be what drives you apart, not the guys you hang with

[FilmGuy93]

"To me, that implies he thinks my personality isn’t good enough" How on Earth do women come up with this stuff? Anyway, the issue isn't you having male friends, it's you being in a vulnerable situation with your male friends; and frankly, I'm inclined to agree. I also agree that y'all shouldn't be dating, but not because of anything he said; because you clearly don't respect him.

[DEXTER_LIVES]

I think you're both right in this situation and probably aren't compatible in that way.

He's never going to comfortable with you being close with other guys that aren't your family.

[20yearsolder]

I would highly suggest you do whatever you want. Why would you want to be in a relationship with someone that's so controlling?

[dustybiker]

Why would you ever let anyone get past the first attempt at controlling you?

[slatyb]

Unacceptable. Dump him immediately. I'm not joking.

[BJP21]

Insecurity, Controlling... Run. I had a girlfriend who had male friends, and I was ok with it.

[Dantezam]

Trust to each other is fundamental in every relationship, each of you should be able to hang out with your friends without causing an issue

[Wise4myage]

Run! he's a control freak and he doesn't own you.

[EaterPeter]

It is us guys insecurity. Most of the time we don't know how or if to admit