Can you ever truly trust a cheater again? Do cheaters ever change?

[Anonymous]

One would think I would have learnt my lesson by now my boyfriend of 9 years had an online romance that lead to a one night stand. He denied it at first but the other woman was rightfully upset and told me ( she apparently didn’t know about us) my boyfriend finally admitted it and begged for forgiveness swore it would never happen again. I forgave him and stayed. 3 years later I found out he was basically having an emotional affair with a female friend who is married- Calling her Baby telling her he misses her why on holidays with me.( I found out by going through his phone wrong I know ) I confronted him he said they are only friends and she is married having a hard time etc and wanted to make her feel better? As I couldn’t provide there was more than just the exchange of text between them I chose to stay as I do love him.
Now I am finding myself wondering who his talking to when his on the phone he will say it’s someone and name them but I don’t know if his lying or not. I just have to trust he is being truthful with me.
My question is can someone who cheated in the past stay faithful? Can Trust be ever truly rebuilt? Why does one chose to cheat why not end things or beg for forgiveness if caught?
Lastly should I stay in this relationship or should I leave, yes I love him but anytime now he is acting different even because his tired i automatically think his cheating but would never tell him that.

[Tekashi_Rosas]

Here is how I see it, if someone ever cheats on me, my trust for them is gone. How can I trust someone that played me. Trust is something you can never regain. That’s for me

[Finchie40]

To answer your question , yes some people can change for the better after cheating occurred , but unfortunately it’s a slim chance on whether they will or will not learn their lesson, to never do it again. That’s the question will they do it again? If they cheated on you because you were somewhat the reason why it occurred , then yes that relationship has a chance if the both of you can admit that you were both wrong and both of you can take accountability for whatever it was that came in between the both of you , to make the both of you distance yourselves from each other , then that relationship has a chance of making it. If one partner did no wrong and their partner cheated on them for relly no reason at all , then that relationship will more than likely not make it period. It sounds like you should end your relationship with your boyfriend, he clearly doesn’t value you or respect you if he is now doing she like this behind your back , so my advice to you is to leave his ass. Unless you know for a fact that you might have been part of the reason for him cheating? Have you been criticizing him , belittling him? , withholding intimacy and affection from him, like he has to earn it from you? Do you compare him to other people and make him feel he isn’t that important to you? If that’s the case that’s more than likely why he cheated , if you haven’t done those things to him and he still cheated , get rid of his ass

[Anonymous]

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