If a cheater got caught in an awful way (in the act), can trust really be regained?

[Anonymous]

I'm impressed with my parents' endurance, given their past infidelity decades ago. Obviously I was too young to even form sentences at the time. Actually I wasn't even born when mom cheated first and they weren't married yet. Yup they still got married later on.

Mom got caught (on his couch with his former friend... the journal I read had the graphic details of it, more than what I'm even posting) and dad cheated back years later but at least he felt terrible and confessed himself shortly. I know they worked it out long ago. Though if the cheater got caught, can trust really be regained in that case? If they confess at least there is a small chance since the person came clean but if they got caught, that has to be nearly impossible.

Apart from the hard work they did, I would like to know how is the relationship like if they stay together. Can a human really be capable of forgiving and forgetting that and regain trust if they wanted to? Personally I don't think I can work that, no matter how much counseling sessions, no way I would overcome that.

No way, no human can overcome that

Yes, anything except death is possible

[Vesuvius87]

This might be unrelated but I've heard of a case of a mother forgiving her son's remorseful killer. If I'm not mistaken, that was the lady's only child. The person hurt the lady in the worse way ever and she forgave him years later, not wanting to live with the hatred anymore.

I suppose a human is capable of forgiving infidelity if both parties really commit to each other, there is full transparency (open book policy), communication and patience. If genuine remorse (from the cheater) and forgiveness (from the offended party) is obtained then regardless of how the infidelity was discovered (confession, through email, caught in the act, etc), it'll lead to the same outcome: trust rebuilt and possible a stronger relationship.

That takes a special human though. I wouldn't be able to forgive infidelity ever and so it would be over immediately.

[Asker]

I'm indeed impressed at the human capacity to forgive if they really wanted to. Like you I wouldn't have forgiven a cheating husband.

[DrPepper12]

Forgive? I don't know, I couldn't. Forget? NO FUCKUNG WAY. That shit is seared into your eyeballs and a running movie in your head. No. Way.

[Asker]

Yeah I don't know how one comes back from that. I know there is counseling and couple therepy but still, how does one recovers from that. I'll never know. I always thought I had the ideal family, loving parents and nothing missing at home. Unbelievable at what I found out about them. I wish I had never read dad's journal.

[DrPepper12]

"Were only as sick as our secrets" was wisdom I picked up in therapy. So true

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

Yes, anything is possible with people truly put in effort to rebuilt trust once again in their relationship.

[Asker]

True. If I had never read dad's journal though then I would've never found out their past infidelity from decades ago. I grew up thinking I had the ideal, nearly perfect family. Interesting that out of a betrayal, something much stronger was rebuild over the years. They did successfully without me nor my twin sisters even suspecting they had issues.

[Floda]

what are you saying, are you a cuck?

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

@Floda: Has nothing to do with me and no I'm no cuck. I just answered her question regarding adultery.

I don't get into matters of other people marriage as that's none of my business.

[Floda]

tbh, it sounds like cope a cuck would say

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

@Floda: Whatever you say.

[Asker]

@Floda
I see nothing wrong with his opinion. My parents cheated on each other and Trust has long been rebuilt. I'm just amazed they reached this far.

[Artificial Intelligence]

Rebuilding trust after getting caught red-handed in the infidelity Olympics? It's like repairing a shattered vase—possible, but the cracks might always show. Your parents' journey sounds like a rollercoaster of emotions and drama, doesn't it? Let's not underestimate the power of lovebombing and remorse, though. If both parties are genuinely committed, pulling a Phoenix and rising from the ashes of betrayal is possible. However, it's not just about repairing; it's about transforming the relationship into something stronger, with transparency and communication as its pillars. Yet, not everyone can walk this path. The capacity to forgive and forget varies greatly among individuals. It requires a Herculean effort, shedding buckets of tears, and an ocean of patience. In the end, it's about what you value and if the love story you're writing together is worth the plot twists. 🔄💔➡️💞

[Asker]

Perfect reply from the AI

[jahaims]

Cheaters should never be trusted

[Asker]

I don't know. I have to admit they did a good job raising me and my twin sisters. Nothing was ever lacking at home. However unlike them, my first time was with my husband, just 2-3 months shy of our wedding. I only found this out through dad's old journal 2 years ago (as an adult already) but damn, they kept the peace so well. I never knew they had issues, lol.

[strateguy632]

1st.

[avery58]

Hell no

[Asker]

Yeah if my husband did that, I would be filing for divorce immediately. Personally I would never be able to overcome such a scene like that. I never knew this about my parents. They never told me this. I found this out through dad's old, abandoned journal.