If someone has to reassure many times they never cheat, are they likely cheaters?

[Anonymous]

Is it a general rule that cheaters often reassure multiple times how they would never cheat and aren't the cheating type. Then he would keep repeating that he doesn't use peope. Yet he scammed me, lol. Otherwise why would anyone need to reassure something so much?

That's how my ex boyfriend was. He would reassure that many times, as if not cheating as something extraordinary when it's just the bare minimum in a relationship. Then he would expect me to reassure him of the same, lol.

[Anonymous]

I’m torn about that — only slightly! I know there are women with bad pasts, like they’ve been cheated on before or whatever, and as a result they need regular reassurance from their partner. My ex best friend was that way, literally dated the sweetest guy and she ruined their relationship bc she was always looking for problems. Like if things were too peaceful something just had to be wrong lol. So I take women like her into account when it comes to that. Now an accuser on the other hand, I feel 100% sure they are cheating. Bc why always accuse if you are clean? To me it’s fishy.

[Asker]

At the time, he met me as a virgin. I had no past at all and wasn't even the jealous type at all. He would just keep randomly reassuring me. In the end, he cheated who knows how many times nor for how long... and he scammed me with my money.

[Opinion Owner]

I’m genuinely sorry to hear that, and hope that his fck up doesn’t ruin how you approach dating. One bad situation can really cause long lasting trauma. At least now you know that unless you are the insecure type then random reassurance is unnecessary and suspicious.

[Asker]

yeah now I know better. It sucks that I'll never get back those wasted years, all my 20's.

[Opinion Owner]

Ugh, I hear you I really do. I spent majority of my 20s up to 28 dealing with the same man and it absolutely sucks you can’t just hop in a time machine and take it back. The best we can do is learn from it, like never let it happen again since we know better and enjoy our lives now.

[HateyouxD]

Ew they go out there way to "reassure" not cheating its fishy.
But if they are constantly being confronted by their partner and the partner then defends them selves then no it's not considered weird

[Asker]

He was indeed up to no good in the end. He didn't just cheated who knows how many times and for long ago, he scammed me with money too.

[HateyouxD]

That sucks. Karma will get him

[Guy13]

Either he has recently been cheated on or may have a reputation and think you are aware of it. He also could be reacting to things that you have said. And finally, he may have a guilty conscience

[Asker]

In my case, he was really up to no good. I don't have proof that he cheated but he did (all the signs were there) and he scammed me with my money, never paid it back.

[Guy13]

Yeah, that sounds right to me. It is a shame people feel the need to operate that way.

[In_Trance]

maybe it's a projection and they feel you're a cheater

[Asker]

Then it's likely they're the cheaters the whole time. If I'm not the jealous type and don't even ask question, never asked if they cheated... them reassuring me they haven't out of nowhere, at random is now a dead give-away.

[In_Trance]

good luck

[LazerBean]

I would say so.

[Asker]

True. Now I know that if I'm never the jealous type, don't even ask questions and he randomly (out of nowhere) feels the need to reassure that he never cheated nor used people... that's shady already.