Can you trust someone who says they would never cheat or have side pieces?

Question

I don't know my boyfriend jokes around a lot and says he would never cheat on me or have side pieces. In my experience, people who say things like that openly and often are usually the ones that do because they are trying to convince you otherwise.

For example, if I go around saying I was rich all the time, it wouldn't be true because Im just trying to convince everyone that I really am not.

Thoughts?

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

You said "he jokes around” which indicates that you know he’s not serious. I think the best thing for you to do would be to express to him that he’s creating doubt in your mind. Explain that you do have a sense of humor but the idea of sharing him isn’t funny to you as you want him all to yourself. Don’t say it like you’re nagging tho or criticizing him for doing something ‘wrong.’ Men want to please us and they also need their egos stroked on occasion (lots of occasions!) so make it a request for him that would make you so happy and be sure to explain that it’s just that you think he's such a good man and would be sad if you had to walk away. You could also tell him that you know he’s not serious but that you don’t want it to cause problems in your relationship because you’re starting to question it a little lately. You deserve to feel secure in your relationship. He’s lucky to have you-you know it and he knows it. Set your boundaries of what you’re willing to accept.
Just because someone jokes about something doesn’t mean it’s happening. I’m more concerned about the way he treats you than him cheating. Having doubts about your partner is a horrible feeling that nobody wants to have. I don’t know any man that would want his woman to think he was unfaithful unless he is feeling insecure and wants to make her jealous so he gets her attention. Gauge the situation and assess if he possibly is feeling threatened or insecure about your relationship. Is he trying to make you think there is a line of women waiting for him so that you show him more love and attention? If that’s the case then get on it and show him/tell him how you feel about him. Tell him he just needs to tell you how he feels and you’re happy to work on your end of things because he’s so important to you. Reassure him that he can always be vulnerable with you and trust you. If that’s not the issue, then monitor his behavior. If he’s hiding his phone and acting sketchy he might be up to something. Is his time accounted for? Does he act normal around other females? Do you ever find things that are unexplainable but when you ask him he has some far out reason for it? You have to analyze things like this. Most people that cheat are giving tell tale signs. The problem is that we dont want to admit it or we’re not ready to be done with that person so we justify the red flags. You know in your heart if he’s faithful or not. Just as an outsider, my take is that the reasons you gave say he's not currently cheating. That being said, men are physical beings that crave variety. Unless you really know how men work and you act accordingly, I believe that most men will cheat at some point in their lives. That doesn't mean that it will be on you.

Cynicaldreamer · Accepted Answer

Familiar with the old saying, " Actions speak louder than words ?" Same can be said in this instance. Just because someone says they're not a cheater, how will you know until they prove it? Do you think a cheater us going to admit to you that they cheat? NO. Only when they're caught in the act, and even then they try to play like they're the victim or not at fault. I take everyone's words with a grain of salt. If your boyfriend is really loyal, or would never cheat, he's not just going to tell you, he's going to show you in how he acts and treats you.

Finchie40 · Accepted Answer

It would definitely raise some red flags in a relationship as to why they are saying that or joking about it , it’s almost like they want to see your reaction to justify their actions , the thing with cheating though is you can’t force someone not to cheat on you , we can only guide someone , if that person chooses to cheat then that’s something they have to live with and something they will have to face the consequences with to their actions , it sucks big time to be cheated on but it’s also something we can’t force to not happen , all we can do is love the same way we want to be loved , and guide someone the same way we want to be treated , if a partner chooses to cheat on you then they aren’t a partner. They are a cheating piece of shit that you should kick to the curb and eventually replace them with someone that wouldn’t cheat on you , A cheating partner shouldn’t want to stay with someone they cheated on considering they already answered their own question that they don’t love them by screwing someone else , but again most people are selfish and only really care about themselves

TDeans1987 · Accepted Answer

I am sorry to go against your feelings here but usually the answer is YES you absolutely can trust someone who says they always will be faithful.

Don't get me wrong it is a little odd that your boyfriend seems to joke about the fact he wouldn't cheat since it is a serious subject. Plus if someone seemed to go way over the top in an effort to convince you he wouldn't cheat then that may also be suspect.

But I always maintain that I believe in being faithful and have said to all my past girlfriends that I would never ever cheat, and I never have. I don't understand cheating. If you have a beautiful girl at home who loves you then there is no better feeling than being with THEM. Any other woman would be second best or worse. But if you are in a loveless relationship then cheating isn't the answer. You do the right thing and end it, especially if you have met someone else you like.

There is nothing that any woman can give you through cheating that your current partner cannot.

Jean-Marie_Céline · Answer

Why not? Yes, until they give me a reason to doubt trusting them.
I can understand your worries, but I think you are overthinking things. Has he done anything that made you second guess your trust in him?

InfobotLives · Answer

Never is hard to promise. Many people say that they would never cheat but then most of those have never had the opportunity. Many of them haven't even had a relationship to cheat on. You don't really know until you are tested. So it's better to say that you haven't cheated before and you imagine it highly unlikely that you would.

With regards to your specific situation, it doesn't always follow that the person who protests too much has something to hide. Some people have a real aversion to cheating due to particular life experiences and such is their revulsion towards cheats that they sincerely believe that they could never do it. Again though, the proof is in the pudding as they say. You will never know until that one girl or guy comes along that is hot as fuck and up for it.

ohshee · Answer

The more question i read of your the more i learn about you and how smart and in tune you are with self all of your questions have deep meaning your question you ask are because , of how dialled in you are. ,, as you and your boy friend wete talking maybe a red flad maybe a word or a feel shot through you something was not right in what was said or how it was said. You felt it deep because you heard what you heard ,, and the words might not have been spoken ,,, but something was said ,, and you picked it and then felt it to me this is cool this is smart and this is beautiful. Because then you share something so deep and you can't prove. But. By doing this you now teach. You are a very cool and deep person,,,,, im sorry

Aakash_Hangargi · Answer

As far as I have heard your stories.

You and your boyfriend are actually good together and have spent quite a lot of time with each other supporting each other.

You cannot predict that someone will cheat or not you just have to trust them that's the risk you take with a partner and you know by their actions how trustable they are I think by this time you should have known that.

If by this time his not cheated there is a lesser probability.

I think he reassures you bc he might know that you might be having some trust issues so he uses it as mechanism for you to be assured.

And if someone wants to cheat they will bc it's always a choice to cheat or not only time will tell untill then keep moving 👍

Anonymous · Answer

I have to agree with you. Unless ur watching a movie or talking about a friend that experienced cheating recently I don't know why they bring it up. I dated someone who would tell me how his brother was horrible he’d tell me stories of him cheating on his girl. Everytime I saw the girl I felt so horrible. Little did I know that my relationship was all a lie. He had another whole relationship with another girl for almost our entire relationship. And he also would hookup with random girls. Before this I didn’t even think people like this existed. How can you lie sooo much. Right to someone face.

Anonymous · Answer

Yeah, sounds like they're trying to convince themselves. Suffice to say that given the right circumstances people would get into all sorts of trouble they claim they wouldn't.

Post ww2 psychological research proved that pretty much anyone would act like a Nazi in a situation that prompted it, people who acted otherwise were the exception not the rule.

That finding applies to all sorts of situations. Hardly anyone has real integrity, and of those that do, many aren't saints and have only developed integrity in response to past failings.

modelUN242 · Answer

Yeah, kind of sounds suspicious... I donno, I would never say it out loud unless they doubted me and I had to say it to clear their suspicions. Maybe you were suspicious of him and he said it to clear his name. Or, he is actually a cheater and says it so you let your guard down.

Synikal · Answer

No. Be suspicious of your choice in guys, not all men. Asking someone everytime expecting a different answer everytime is pure insanity. At that point it's like you want him to cheat to prove yourself right. This is a serious trait I see in BOTH men and women that seriously needs to die. Either you evolve and mature your taste in what kindve person you truly want to be with or stay complacent. Either show you can provide a small amount of trust until he proves otherwise. Stop being that type of person who continuously asks these types of questions. I had an ex who done this all the time because she cheated and dated men who cheated all the time. Reason why she is now an ex. You wouldn't like to be in the same shoes as him being asked that right?

DizzyDesii · Answer

I’d trust em but i’d always be watching to see if their statement lives up to truth. The cheaters aren't usually the ones saying they won't cheat. The cheaters are usually the ones accusing others of cheating. The accusers are definitely the “takes one to know one” type

HawkPerception · Answer

I've said that to my ex more than a few times when conversation about cheaters arose and I've never cheated in my life. I think cheaters are scum. If you really want to be with someone else than end the relationship if you care anything about your partner rather than potentially hurt them emotionally really badly.

Dragonpurple · Answer

It is possible that when someone says stuff like that, or thinks you might be cheating that they themselves are at least thinking about it, if not doing it.

At the same time, there is no guarantees. Someone could say that and never think or do it.

Relationships are all about trust, regardless of what else happens if you cannot trust someone it will not be successful.

Anonymous · Answer

uh well when i say it, it's actually true!!! the last time i been kissed was jan 2005 and hadn't dated since before that. the last time i went on an actual date was back in 2000. the only time i hung out with a woman was for a cancer charity benefit dinner and that wasn't even a date and it was with my now ex-friend. and she hung out with her friends 95% of that time. so yeah my phone isn't ringing off the hook with women wanting to go out with me or wanting to date me. i go to bed each night ALONE fall asleep each night ALONE wake up every morning ALONE... are you getting or picking up the keyword here?

whitehide · Answer

Not really. Cheating is a horrible and shitty thing to do, but no one can really know what will happen in the future, like if a situation will a arise which will cause them to cheat. Most people say they would never cheat until something happens that will make them cheat or want to cheat.

REALSTEEL · Answer

why not im 44 i said that to my x all the time and i never cheated in my life she cheated on me a lot of problems with women is they read way way into everything something simple turns into a nightmare women need to stop reading into a simple statement mote then what it is that's what causes a lot of drama stress eventually a breakup cause the spouse will get tired of it

pleasestopthis · Answer

I dislike it when people they say "never" like they know everything and the future and their possible reactions. No one knows how things will come around.
So my answer is no, I don't believe it when people say "never" will do this and that, they may be sincere, but no one can be 100% sure of anything.

Guanfei · Answer

So what do you want him to say? That he will cheat?
Seriously, this is dumb.

Let's be real, with all the questions you've ask, and all you've said you think about your boyfriend, just break up. You're obviously, consciously or not, trying to find a reason to break up without being seen as the bad person. You're not, you don't want to be with him, leave, and that's it. No need to find an excuse.

Anonymous · Answer

If they say it a lot, then that's a little weird. But if it's something that just comes up in normal conversation, then I don't think it's a red flag. For example, when my boyfriend and I first started dating, he brought up the subject of deal-breakers. Asked what my deal-breakers were, and I said, "Cheating. I would never cheat on someone and I wouldn't forgive someone who cheated on me." That was the end of the convo though. We didn't keep talking about it over and over again lol.

Blueeyes81 · Answer

Depends. Someone can be faithful but their partner is insecure and always pushes the "Are you cheating question" in that case I can see it a reasonable response. If he just brought it up on his own out of nowhere then I could see why that would be cause for concern.

DWornock · Answer

I don't know about guys but girls that say they would never cheat can't be trusted. At least that was my experience. I met her and we appeared to hit it off. She said, "I'll never cheat" and in less than 3 weeks she traveled to Texas to visit another guy she met after she met me. She dumped me but I noticed that after a couple of months she was looking for another boyfriend.

Diamold · Answer

I have been cheated and i never cheated on anyone, i think it is very disrespectful, if i want to be with someone else i will end my relationship before doing anything.
And i always say "i will never cheat on you"
And i won't
So no, not everyone who says it, does it

alexander3244 · Answer

I'd trust a girl who most of the time will help me to get laid when I really need it or will show empathy and support (a simple hug and kiss could help a lot) when she can't, that would mean to me that she cares and doesn't treat me like garbage. It probably won't be a 100% guarantee that she's not cheating but it's a pretty good sign that she's not in my opinion.

AgentDearestZ · Answer

Women cheat way easily than men so you might not understand. if it’s a woman no. The only reason they brought it up was cause they’re feeling self conscious cause they though of cheating or already are.

Men however, are a gray area the same thing applies, but some are infatuated with you and want to clear your worries. After all men are (usually) raised to value women over their own lives.

Avicenna · Answer

When you get into an exclusive relationship with someone, there obviously has to be some implied trust. There is always the risk someone could cheat, but if you don’t trust your boyfriend not to, you shouldn’t be in a relationship with him.

Jjpayne · Answer

If they say it a lot it sounds kinda strange...  I suppose you could really mess with him and don't say it, do it and please don't bring it up again. Something like that, see how he responds

Adam1978 · Answer

So everyone is a cheater in your world, both the one saying they are and the one saying they aren't. Seeing the flaw in your logic? Because there is no way of denying or distance yourself from the action.

jillybeanns · Answer

If he is offering this information without being prompted I would personally be weary. It almost sounds like a psychological play. But— if he has never given you a reason to not trust him then I think you should be ok for now.

serious · Answer

Why not? Yes there are people who never cheat and forever stay loyal. Yes they may end or break up the relationship if things aren't good but will never resort to cheating or stuff like that.

DevikaButts95 · Answer

What's a person suppose to say? They would cheat on you? Lmao. Maybe he has a bad experience with a prior ex who used to think he was cheating all the time.

Siren777 · Answer

Give them the benefit of the doubt until being proven wrong. Or he proves what you've been feeling right.

weysally · Answer

sounds a bit hollow to me, its like people that continuously keep saying I love you makes me wonder why

Anonymous · Answer

I don't trust words. I trust actions.
So if he says that stuff many times then he's just scared and hiding something.
I don't understand when these men c*nts will learn to appreciate having a beautiful and faithful woman by their side.

Ripper_E · Answer

I don't have a reason to doubt someone based on that, but if they tell me frequently, then I would have doubt because I shouldn't have to be convinced.

Alyssa11 · Answer

I agree with you. It’s people who talk so much that you have to watch out for. Not just on the topic of cheating but on anything really.

FilmGuy93 · Answer

Well I'm not a cheater and I say that I would never cheat. I don't go around advertising that fact though. I feel like it's shady as hell if you go around advertising that though.

DJB72 · Answer

It's weird that he feels he has to say it all the time. In Hamlet the line "Methinks he doth protest too much" would seem to fit... Sorry 😞

Rizwan_khan · Answer

Yes I agreed with your point and I never trust that person who always speaking about I never cheat and blahhhhh coz that person has the greater chance to cheat you
Show loyalty in your action not in your words
As simple as that 🙃

JDavid25 · Answer

Well, I wouldn't go around constantly sayin it, so that's weird, but I wouldn't say that that's not a reason not to trust them. 😅..

RingOfFire · Answer

You are right. People who often talk about how they would never do some particular bad thing are often doing exactly that bad thing. Guilty conscience.

Kenneth14621 · Answer

Not necisarrily. I have a super hot chick texting me right now. And I am not responding cause my dick is hard and I would surley fuck the shit out of her. Been holdin off for the last 22 minutes!!!

FreyaRed · Answer

He thinks about this topic, why he does is another question.

Leavesbound · Answer

I am 61 and I am not a cheater. I know, my ex girlfriend had me tested.

Lynx122 · Answer

Well I don't tell people I'm rich and I'm not so what does that mean?

legalboxers · Answer

I dont like that term "side pieces" some guys who have many female friends who are just friends and are not "side pieces" by jealous s/o or girlfriends.

kiwiguy33 · Answer

nope, not at all. Mum told dad she would never sleep with others and she did, 5 men before my dad found out and now she's gone and he's got everything us kids too, we don't even have to see her.

Coulis · Answer

I am suspicious of everyone. Even myself. They can say it but I put nothing past anyone.

Anonymous · Answer

Usually you can at least half half. But in your case, your boyfriend doesn't seem like a such a good boyfriend from your previous questions so not sure

genericname85 · Answer

i generally don't trust people that tell me to trust them. just by default. trustworthy people don't have to ask for trust.

In_Trance · Answer

People say this all the time. Nobody sets out to cheat. People cheat because they have reason to cheat. It can and does happen to anyone. Especially those that say "it'll never happen to me"

Anonymous · Answer

If he says it all the time, it's a sign. I've never seen the need to go around telling people or my partner that I would never cheat.

Browneye57 · Answer

There's always an ulterior motive with women, isn't there? Honey, you're projecting again.

GoodGuyBreakingBad · Answer

Yeah, I would hope I can trust a girl who says, she doesn't have a side piece LMAO

sheikalana · Answer

Why are we supposed to trust people who say they're cheaters now?

RyanK9b · Answer

I would think the same. Well I'm one who says that but only when asked with context. Never in random events

janæquinn · Answer

- Yes, I can. - Saying too often not to cheat or not to have side pieces is suspicious. However, what we can trust is our sense and experiences with them.

Tel86 · Answer

I don't think his able 2 cheat if his open about it. In my eye's his being very open. If he gave u any reason 2 doubt him then u have every reason 2 question him. Gd luck 👍

SavageGirl101 · Answer

I would never Fully trust them cause you never know what people are doing behind your back

Ifriqyan · Answer

I know us women can overthink a lot but i think it's unnecessary in this case.

Wiredone · Answer

Until I find out they actually lied, I trust people. I don't give liars a second chance.

HongKongMong · Answer

I have trust issues from a previous relationship, so it takes a lot for me to trust someone in that way again

jerdanro · Answer

Trust with your eyes, not your ears. If their talk and behavior don't match you can't trust them. If they match you probably can.

Can you trust someone who says they would never cheat or have side pieces?

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Can you ever truly trust a cheater again? Do cheaters ever change?

Can you trust someone who says they would never cheat or have side pieces?

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Can you ever truly trust a cheater again? Do cheaters ever change?

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