Trust is an important thing for all of us, it builds friendships, relationships, business deals. You agree to licenses when purchasing houses or software. It may be put in contract. But there is still a reliance on trust. So what if its broken... shattered. Can it be completely regained? Im not refering to small trust, like telling your child not to eat a cookie and they break it. In this instance im refering to relationships.
Many, many years back, almost 10 or more I think, my father cheated on my mother, had an affair with another woman and they split up, did not divorse but they werent together, was the toughest time in my life. I despised my father for what he had done and swore to never do it to others. My mothers heart was broken. Now in todays society its EASY to shout and scream and insult, its easy to tell someone "Dont forgive them, you are weak if you do!" Really weak? So this person who has been married for almost 20 years, and dated a few before that with their now husband is weak for not instantly being able to move on.
I say this because after about 5 months of the insident my parents got back together, my dad was remorseful and devastated in his choices, you could see it. Now it took years for me and my mom to fully trust him against, but I can say for a fact he has tried his best, does nobody deserve another chance, again its easy to accuse and claim he could again. Guess what, everyone could again, so could my mom, but they haven't. I still struggle with trust of my father, but I see the love he has for my mother, and im well aware of the stress they went through during that time. He didn't wake up and decide to do it. There were factors on both sides. Not blaming my mother, but there was a tension that broke, but now that tension is gone.
So back to my question, do you honestly deep down believe trust can never be regained, nobody wants to be betrayed, and those who do are the weak ones. Easy to hate, hard to forgive. What are your opinions?
Yes it can be regained completely.
Yes it can be regained, but never completely.
I dont think it will ever be the same.
No it can't be regained, but can still associate with the person.
No it can't be regained, and I would stop associating with the person.
As humans, we all make mistakes Mia, we learn from, and we move on. I want to quote "Easy to hate, hard to forgive" from what you have written. Totally agree with you, and the fact a person is able to forgive and forget proves how much they are strong. Love and respect are what we should be doing instead of judging. In my own honest opinion, couples who go through similar situation, should sit down and have a complete crystal clear conversation with total honesty. Why this person cheated? What was the reason that pushed them in doing so? Do they regret? etc... If trust is not completely regained, then I don't think the relationship could work. You cannot trust someone you doubt.
TIME is the real answer to everything dear Mia. Some things and some people take need more time to get back on track.
If they truly love each other, I don't see why they cannot make it work.
Again, we are all humans, we make mistakes, learn from and move on. We all deserve a second chance. Maybe your father still haven't forgiven himself for the mistake he did, which is a sign that he cares enough about you and your mother.
The person who will take advantage of the second chance to make the same mistake again does not deserve to be given other chances in my own honest opinion.
It can probably be regained completely in case you are convinced that the person has really learned from the mistake and changed.
It can, but it requires time, it required the person who broke the trust to recognize the damage and change and behave in such a way that shows what caused the broken trust wasn’t an inherent character flaw, but a moment of weakness and oversight of the resulting consequences... but has show a pattern to behave differently, as they are now. It also requires those who lost their trust to recognize that nobody is perfect and those who judge them may also one day be in the same position, you never know, so many ingredients at play, possibilities and allow baby steps of empathy and let them know they can f up again
If my partner cheated and they TOLD me, and they made amends to prove to me they aren’t going to do it again... then maybe.
But in my case, my ex didn’t tell me. I had my suspicions and eventually i found out he had been cheating. He blocked me when i found out, tried to make me the crazy and unstable one. Then came back a month later. We tried to make it work, but, he wasn’t willing to do the TRUE work necessary to make it work and help me regain trust. He wanted me to trust him blindly because he “unadded those other girls”, yeah, that’s doing so much.
There was this book i read where they said that forgiveness is power within. Because its hard to forgive but easy to keep a grudge. So for all those who say hatefull things they keep a grudge, they choose the easy way and keep reliving the past instead of looking to the future, to what is now. To answer the question. Trust is fragile. One can forgive easily and regrain their trust. But forgiving isn't forgetting so in my opinion you will never trust a person like you did before, but it could come back to a point where you can trust the person again.
Yes but to me not whole my husband I love dearly he lied a lot when we dated a lot so I broke up with him a lot but we got married he’s really proven himself and made a 360 but still in the back of my head if he says something I don’t believe I always think is he telling the truth. I trust him with my life and I know would do anything for me but I still have tiny doubt about stuff he says it could be true and I’d still want to double check. But besides that I haven’t found him in a lie and things been going well
For me, once it happened i couldn´t ever regain complete trust in the person who failed me. I can regain some degree of trust depending upon my observations on how that person is acting around other people, if i notice they are trying to mislead other people at some point i would definitely end the relationship, but if i see they try to be honest and open i would regain trust with time, but it won´t ever be like it was the person failed with me.
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Anonymous
(25-29)
+1 y
Yes, but it depends on how badly you want to restore the trust relationship, and how badly the injured person wants it restored. If you have established something special with someone, a relationship that would be hard for them to replace, there is a good chance, if you are persistent, that they will forgive. A lot of it also depends on their nature. Sometimes I’ve been willing to forgive quickly because I have made worse mistakes in the past. The key is to keep doing good, try to find ways to bless them. But if they are unwilling to forgive, then you will need to eventually do a cost-benefit analysis on the friendship.
I only give guys two chance id they fail two time then dump them. by the way I got cheated on twice. found out my fake friends that ruin my one of my relationship and her friendship. It was my last relationship at college and guy that I did went out at the time cheated on me. I caught him and broke it off right alway. by the way met my current boyfriend on facebook. that why I do not date in college.
I think it can recover but not completely, you may tend to lose trust in somethin or someone a little easier over nothing because of something that completely broke your trust months or even years prior.
Everyone's different. And every situation is different. But I say you can trust again but never completely cause if you do it once your more likely to do it a second time and not get caught cause of what you learned. You can find a way to cheat the system.
I think in time it can be. But it takes a super super long time. Trust is hard to regain once its lost. But I believe in second chances and keep watch make sure he isn't doing anything g he shouldn't be
I think it depends on the person whose trust was violated. I have a lot of difficulty forgiving someone who has maliciously crossed me and it would be very difficult to earn my trust back.
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