I think my boyfriend has been complaining about me to another girl, am I right to be upset?

[Anonymous]

It's sort of a long story but I'll try to short it down. I was using his phone (because he was cooking and I needed to reply for him), and I had to insert something I had copied to the message. So naturally I open the clipboard, where I see a screenshot of my texts with him where, to be fair, I was being quite unreasonable. It's worth mentioning that I have really bad anxiety, and he is aware, so sometimes I get overly concerned and unreasonable, and it's also worth mentioning that this little spat was resolved within minutes of the screenshotted thread. He has a girl friend from university who he texts quite a lot about random stuff, which I have no problem with, but I know for a fact that she is the knly one he would have sent it to, I don't like the thought of him going to another girl complaining about stuff that just isn't her business. I also haven't met her, and I don't like making bad impressions on his friends before I even meet them. I don't think I'll be bringing it up to him, since I think that might make him think I don't trust him and I never want to make him feel like that.

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[SecretsofKB]

This is kind of toeing the line of emotional cheating to me honestly. My big, burning question is why did he send that screen shot if you both resolved it so quickly? What else has he shared? I'm wondering if there is more to that girl that he says.

And honestly, I've never sent screen shots of my fight texts with my partner to anyone...

I do think that you have the right to be upset.

[Asker]

Yea no, there's nothing between him and that girl. I know he would never do that and she also has a boyfriend (so she wouldn't try anything inappropriate either)

[Chaser3232]

1 inform him and let him response to his own text.
2 we have to have some one else to bounce things off, to insure we’re not being unreasonable!
3 now you have to tell him what happened and take responsibility! Let the chips fall were they may. This is called adulting.

[Asker]

1. I responded to his text because he told me to
2. We resolved it, so it was not necessary to share it
3. I explained this one

[BarryLiverstone]

He’s going to vent to someone. As you said you were unreasonable. But if you don’t communicate and tell him then no you can’t be upset as he wouldn’t know

[BarryLiverstone]

Is there someone else he should be venting to?

[Asker]

Yes. If he didn't think it was resolved he should have told me first. I acknowledged being unreasonable right after.

[BarryLiverstone]

Even if a conflict is resolved he can still want to vent emotions

[Asker]

I would never vent my emotions to one of my guy friends. Especially not one's who haven't met him and dont know how he is. Talking about it to someone he just met two weeks ago doesn't seem right

[BarryLiverstone]

Didn’t know he just met them 2 weeks ago. And who would you vent to then?

[Asker]

Someone closer to the situation, who knows how I feel about him (that I love him and I am just venting and it means nothing in the bigger picture) my sister for example, she won't form ill opinions about him since she knows me and how I might be overreacting to the situation and she knows that I want this to work out