Am I wrong for being mad at my boyfriend?

[Anonymous]

i was texting my boyfriend and i asked him if he would still be with me if i had smaller boobs. (i have big boobs) i asked him this because i’ve been thinking about wanting to get a breast reduction and i was curious to see what he would say and he said that he doesn’t wanna be with a girl with mosquito bite tities and that got me really mad because shouldn’t he love me for me not my boobs?

[Nifrayu]

I wouldn't say you're wrong for being mad. That's just an emotional reaction, but understand he's also not wrong. It's not any different from women refusing to date men who are shorter than them, or for having a micro penis, or for having a penis that's "too big," or for being to muscular, or too thin.

[Anonymous]

I always find it patently absurd when people get upset about WHY someone else finds them attractive. Like, it's not enough that they be found attractive--the MUST be attractive for some VERY specific reason and not for some other reason. And usually the sentiment is something akin to "shouldn't he/she love me for my intense narcissism? Why can't they just love THAT about me?"

[HelpfulWoman]

well yeah, you're a bit wrong.
you asked a question, so you wanted an answer. he gave it. he's allowed a preference, since I'm sure if he "drastically" changed something of his you'd dislike it.

[Akothee005]

Hell yeah, you're wrong sweetheart because your boyfriend answered you honestly and showed how much he loved you for who you are.

[Tim2nice]

Perhaps your big boobs were part of what attracted him to you. You can’t tell people what to like and what not

[spartan55]

Wtf? Why are you asking your boyfriend shit like that? You must want to get dumped.

[Jezzzter]

That’s a totally reasonable reaction. Even if he was joking, it’s pretty insensitive of him.

[Nifrayu]

How is that insensitive? It doesn't seem like he had then intention of upsetting her. He probably just answered her question honestly and thought that's what she expected him to do.

[Jezzzter]

@Nifrayu Honesty is good, but if he honestly would break up with a girl just because of a breast reduction, it feels shallow in my opinion.

Looks definitely matter in a relationship, and having a “type” is totally fine, but if that’s all that matters to him he might as well just get a fob.
I know a lot of women who get severe discomfort from the size of their breasts. It hurts their back and they can’t run without pain.

If this guy would rather have his SO experience pain and discomfort on the daily then her having smaller boobs, he isn’t ready for a relationship at all.

[Nifrayu]

Sure it's shallow. That doesn't mean it's wrong.

[Jezzzter]

@Nifrayu It’s not wrong to like big tits, but if that’s such a big deal to him, and there’s not enough of an emotional connection to make up for it, they shouldn’t keep dating in my opinion. He can find someone who is more his taste.

I’m also concerned because, if he says and thinks like this, he might be insensitive in a lot of other ways. OP never said what he’s like besides this, so I’m not trying to make up stuff. I’ve just seen how people (both male and female) who care too much about looks treat their partners. It usually isn’t good. But, that’s just my experience.

I just don’t understand why her boobs are more important than the person behind them, if that makes sense.

I should also add, these people can do whatever they want. Whether they keep dating or not doesn’t matter to me because I don’t know these people.

[Jezzzter]

I forgot to add: it’s also the way he said it. (If OP used his exact words, that is.) As well as the fact that they’re *already* in a relationship. I don’t know how long they’ve been dating, but I’d say the longer the relationship has gone for, the more time they’ve had to make an emotional connection.

You have a point in your comment where you mentioned girls not wanting to be in a relationship with a guy shorter than them or whatever other preferences. But the thing is, I don’t think a girl would date a guy who’s shorter than him for months and then suddenly break up with him because of his height because, well, she already knew his height.

And also, the guy in OP’s post seems to think a breast reduction means barely any tits. I think he’s overreacting in my opinion.

Sorry for the long reply. Not trying to talk you ear off, just trying to make my point without saying something wrong.

[Nifrayu]

I agree with you regarding the relationship. I think it would be wise for her break up with him. But I can't say that for sure without knowing more about their relationship.

[Nifrayu]

I'm aware my comment was not a one to one comparison with between this situation and my examples, because hight doesn't change, but let's relate it in another way. Imagine a man wanted a penis reduction surgery and his girlfriend was a size queen who doesn't date modestly endowed men. That would be closer to this situation.

[Jezzzter]

@Nifrayu You’re right, I don’t know enough to say whether they should break up or not. I hope I didn’t imply that. My bad.

In your 2nd situation, I would still say the same. I think it would be shallow to be in a relationship with a guy for a while, and then break up with him because of such a thing.

Again, I think the shorter the relationship has gone for, the less “bad” it really is.

I still don’t personally understand why it’d matter so much, but I understand people have preferences, and very strong ones at that.

I’m not gonna say I don’t have preferences, but personally, if I really love someone, most things regarding appearance or changing of appearance wouldn’t be a dealbreaker. That’s just me though. I don’t know how important it is to the average person.

But I’d like to bring up one of my past points, which was loving your partner enough to value their comfort over there a change in appearance. That’s pretty important in my opinion

[Carina0]

Yeah that's a normal reaction from you I think

[Anonymous]

He was just being truthful.